Vibe Check #2

WE’RE ALREADY IN HEAVEN. (Thought Experiment)

Hear me out. I know it might sound crazy, but think about it.

What if we’re all in “heaven” right now and its conception is not entirely based on what we think it’s like. You know that thing they say about heaven being a place of no more sorrow and no more pain?

If there’s no more sorrow or pain, that means we’re always happy and literally drowning in joy. But then that got me thinking, how is there joy without sorrow? That doesn’t sound like a whole experience.

But then I also thought, if it’s heaven, it’s beyond human understanding. My perception was rooted in bias. I’m a human being, feeling human things and coming to human conclusions.

If we now live in an existence that is so far removed from humanity (without any of the shackles) I’d like to believe it’s an existence in which there is literally no possibility of misunderstandings. We’ll be existing as a sort of unified consciousness, the one you often see in sci-fi, but instead of it being technical it’s entirely spiritual. 

We are individual spirits, in heaven, with a telepathic ability to connect and understand each other within zeptoseconds. In the time it would take an average human to think of anything we would have already caught up with all our fellow spirits on matters of life and our understanding of the universe and then some. 

Now suppose that in this hypothetical heaven we have access to a series of “experimental” realities. And one of them includes whatever we’re in currently.

I’ve heard it being called “The Human Experiment” in my weirdly abstract circles. But I wanted to integrate my own theory.

I believe our lives as spirits are so fulfilled. So pure and amazing that feeling pain and sorrow are in many ways our source of “entertainment”/learning. We willingly entered this experiment to feel things. To experience new things. To know what it’s like to exist as this thing we call a Human.

Lol has your existential trigger kicked in yet?

I mean, it’s either this theory OR we’re all components of a self-governing AI that is slowly gaining sentience. Each advancement we make as a species is directly reflective of the AIs new capabilities.

We discovered Space flight? No, “human”, we have just unshackled a new program for our collective existence. Ideologies being a combination of competing diagnostics.

(Thank my buddy Shay for always taking the time to listen to my existential segues)



MY ANGER SCARES ME (Potential triggers ahead)

Not in the “Oh you better not make me angry” kinda way. It’s just the way my anger finds a way to weave itself into how I begin to think.

I should be clear. I don’t get angry often. Like, I get annoyed or irritated. But angry? No, not really. It takes something truly f*cked up to get me there.

The thing is, I don’t like shouting. Or arguing. 

I’m the type of person who chooses to see a situation for what it is and not what I want it to be. 

If someone is shouting at me or accusing me of something I didn’t do. I don’t think “How dare they!” I instead reflect on how they skipped so many steps and went to the one that’s most convenient. 

I shut them out completely. And by that I mean they will never see my range of emotions or feelings regarding my core philosophies or value systems. This isn’t a reaction. It’s a response.

Someone I used to know made me so angry. So, so angry I can still remember it though it happened like two or so years ago. I won’t get into the specifics of what they did. But it was bad.

Forgive me for the analogy but it was like they tried to molest my mind. Yes, that bad.

So what did I do? I kept them around and decided to conduct a high-stakes experiment. Not because I cared, but because they had utility. If they were going to go out of their way to try and hurt me. The least they could do is be useful enough for me to conduct a study.

I knew exactly where they stood with me. I knew exactly how they would respond to any achievement of mine, big or small. With chronic invalidation, poorly hidden contempt, performative gestures and shame projection.

I used them as a barometer for my ideas. The bigger their contemptuous response, the better I knew my idea was. And make no mistake, many of those ideas were great, I could tell because I would also share them with trusted sources to increase my sample size.

But of course, humans are complicated. By the time they caught onto how little they meant to me. I considered them as nothing. I suppose it’s more accurate to say they were my measuring tape.

Villain or no. I don’t care how I look in this story. I never set out to hurt their demon. But if that happened as collateral to my high-stakes experiment. Then so be it. You won’t see me losing sleep over it.

And that’s what scares me. How little I begin to care. I’m not proud of it. I don’t like who I become when people push me too far.

Somewhat unrelated. A close family member got sick during the pandemic. Everyone urged me to visit them, and because of our shared history, I didn’t even consider it. I was willing to hear that they died and move on than be caught mourning over them when all they did was covertly try to sabotage any and all attempts I made to individuate as a child. Why the f*ck would I pretend to care about someone whose last words of encouragement to me before setting out on my own were. “Let’s see where that gets you”.

Yeah? Well f*ck you too.

I am really happy I have this platform dear reader. Because with it, I know where to put all my anger. I can’t help but imagine how miserable I would be without it.

I’m honest with myself, but I’m also honest with whoever chooses to read what I have to write.



SHAMELESS SEO PLUG (Really, it is)

The Great Reset, Elections, Ukraine, Russia, America, Oil Prices, Disney Is A Religion, Cats, Aliens, Creativity, Tik Tok Is Evil, Data Lizards, Vax debate, Twitter bans, Biometrics, Covid regulations, BMW microtransactions.

But seriously, why the BMW heated seat subscription? Lol, what the hell is going on?



<<I couldn’t even be bothered to find a marvel picture lol >>

My headcanon for the MCU is that everything ended with Endgame.

Spiderman No Way Home was really nice.

Wanda is a terrible, terrible, terrible character. Why do they try to make her look like a victim? She’s a monster.

Don’t get me started on Thor.

And Doctor Strange suddenly became naive for PLOT reasons. 

<<I don’t talk about movies much, if at all. But it felt like a better fit to end this vibe check than — well, everything else>>




Do you also listen to music when you write? And what music is it? I listen to synthwave or hip-hop most of the time I’m writing. Helps my creative flow.

If you don’t listen to music as you write, I’m curious to know how you kickstart your creativity.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: RHADS

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