Creativity Ritual.

People often tell me I’m prone to overthinking

Despite their concern

I’m quick to remind them

There’s such a thing as under-thinking.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: Carnegriff

Questions You Are Yet To Ask (2)

Question you are yet to ask (1)

My birthday was this week. It was nice, I guess.

I had a few stand-out conversations that i’ll touch on today. Hopefully you’ll learn something new about me.

 

So, uh, children?

My choice to not have children isn’t because I’m a hard-a** incapable of caring or loving. I’m afraid to mess up; much like many of the “adults” I grew up with. To have my son/daughter feel how I felt towards these adults is the last thing I would ever want.

Many people want kids. But very few know what it means to be a parent (except in name alone). If it wasn’t already obvious, my proclivity towards community isn’t exactly steady. I will wait until I have genuine desire to have a family then act on this. Until then …no experiments.

I want to do it right — it can’t be perfect but I want it to come pretty damn close.

 

Thoughts on romance?

No thanks.

(I suppose I have to say why)

Relationships are work. And I know people who are quick to say when you meet the right person it won’t feel like work. I agree.

Because when you’re in love i.e. drugged up, all inhibitions fly out the window. You enter a sort of fugue state – auto-pilot mode (if you will). I can’t have that happen — lose myself to someone. There is too much value in who I am as an individual.

The world is changing. And with it, the people too. My idea of attraction is tied to this unfortunately.  Unless our values align, I don’t really find someone attractive. I can  acknowledge how pretty a lady is from an objective stand point but that hardly settles it for me.

Doesn’t really help that I rarely get out of my house. I know, I’m to blame for this whole thing too. Regardless, if I run solo at the end of this — I won’t be pointing fingers. That’s just the way my story would have gone.

 

Do you have any pets?

I really want a cat — but in case my narcissistic stalkers see this and try to one up me I’ll say I want a dog instead. If they get both i’ll get a snake — what can I say, I enjoy giving copycats causality problems.

 

How is your mental health?

I haven’t felt like killing myself for over a year. That’s a plus. I have tried to be kinder to myself, seems to be working — kinda. I’m doing my best. I have found ways to harness my inner joy by not surrounding myself with people that try to steal or invalidate it. 

 

Thoughts on sex

Probably ties into romance a little. Did I ever tell you that I might be A-sexual? I’m 90% convinced. I can get attracted to women during a conversation but I don’t have sex on my mind when that happens. I consider this a blessing — many people are beautiful on the outside, but the inside — yikes.

Once had a sex addicted girlfriend — assumed I was cheating because I never asked for sex lol I can’t say I blame her. She was used to guys asking for sex during the first month of dating.

Anyway — it doesn’t matter how curvaceous your body is. It’s nothing until I see how you genuinely treat others. To be fair, it will be nothing even when I see you treat people well. I’ll be too distracted by your aura lol

As for sex itself — well, I wasn’t impressed the first time and I’m still not impressed. 

 

Memories of being the bad guy?

Jeez, I’ve lost count. I can be a real a** sometimes. I have trouble with authority figures that like micro-managing. I’m trying to work on that. 

I’m a poor, poor, poor, poor communicator. Keeping in touch is quite difficult for me. And at times I leave people feeling neglected. But when it comes to energy vampires that’s purely by design.

Too cynical — I may not voice it in person. But I assume the worst until I have gathered evidence that supports otherwise. May come across as pessimism to those that don’t know me. 

I can be harsh and very critical if someone repeats a mistake. Particularly in situations when I would’ve discussed with said person ways to avoid the problem. 

My undying desire for autonomy sometimes makes me push away people that could have potentially been good friends. Sorry.

My need for precision and logical consistency clashes with our irrational behavior as human beings. Sometimes, when Tom and Susan mess up, all they want to hear from their friend is that everything will be alright and not a play-by-play of what they could have done better.

I could go on and on but for now I think I’ve covered most of my glaring flaws.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by:  RHADS

 

 

 

 

File The Ocean.

A bead drops. Forms ripples on the surface of a calm ocean.

Ripples that travel far are often consumed

By currents and waves of seismic origin.

The bead is a voice — the ripple is reach.

The currents and seismic waves are trends and “predominant” chatter

The ocean is the universe — formless in it’s totality.

Calmness is often short lived — but my joy persists

After all, my inner joy isn’t derived from having the loudest voice

But from having a whisper that can bend my part of the universe.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: RHADS

Rambly rant-ish something incoming

Schopenhauer’s philosophy says the world is made up of will and representation. The TLDR for that reference is, I learnt long ago that if I don’t think for myself; someone will think for me. The worst part is when you’re not even aware of this.

It’s easy to fall under someone else’s will. One of the key triggers — from what I’ve witnessed — is fear. If you’re afraid of doing your own thing or pursuing your own dreams, you’ll most certainly live someone else’s.

As someone who chooses a solitary life, I hardly get influenced by anyone. Not that they ever get the chance to. This is not a system that works for everyone — but it works for me. I accepted a while back that everyone (including myself) sucks. So I’d rather skip all the show boating and get to the part where they drop all pretense. That’s easier to achieve when you ask straight-forward questions and give straightforward answers in return.

As an avid researcher, I’m rarely ever impressed. I consider that a gift; helps me stay objective. I want to know what sucks about you so I know whether I can tolerate it in my space or not.

Harsh calculus? Probably. But it’s necessary for the foundation of my well-being.

I often surprise myself with how little I need from people. And maybe it hurts those that get to know me romantically; that no matter what they offer — I can still go on without them. Yes, that little tid-bit has done wonders from my love life lol of which there is none. It’s a fundamental fact, everyone is a visitor. So why deify them?

Yeah — Trust me — I know.

No well-meaning mother should ever allow their daughter to date me lol

My family often jokes saying I’m very rigid. As much as I love them, they’re wrong. Their capacity to judge my rigidity is based solely on me not bending to their will. I just have very firm boundaries — cross them, and well — adios, I guess. My Father and Aunt often call me self-sufficient, which is a more apt description. I understand the utility people provide through their varying (often unresearched) opinions and their different frames of reference… but let’s not pretend I’ll die because Susan didn’t give me a hug.

I can see how easy it would be to misunderstand my seemingly cold exterior. Last year I got into trouble for not smiling enough. It’s polite to smile, it makes you “appear” friendly …I get that. However, I’m not trying to appear anything apart from myself; flaws and all.

Who knows. Maybe I’m just bad at smiling.

Iridescent Chorus.

What do you think would happen

If we synthesized every heart-beat that’s ever existed?

Do you think, maybe….

Just maybe…. we’d find rhythm in the discord?

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  ART-BY-DOC

I can’t find the off-switch to my mind — It’s always working.

I could show you the room where I last saw it. But then you’d get lost too… And we don’t want that now, do we?

Asch Conformity.

You say you have all my boxes ticked …

Error: They’re cubes.

Please tell me,

How many sides have you missed?

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: theirison

 

If you want to build engagement. Tell people what they want to hear despite your personal beliefs. Prime them for more sweet nothings. Build a platform they can come to whenever they are having a bad day. Toss in a famous quote here and a self-help book there. Can’t teach them how to walk on their own two feet. No. They’ll need you for that *bzzt*

Does poetry carry more meaning when it has a message? When it seeks to topple empires and shed light on the evil that’s in the world? Is that what poetry is? Because if that’s all it is… then poetry is garbage.

I don’t write poetry because it has rules. Poetry is owned by the poet and whatever manner of energy they pull from the universe. A sort of symbiosis. (but that’s my interpretation)

I believe poetry can’t be owned by any principle. Poetry for the sake of poetry is already compelling. If it’s spliced with a message. Great.

If it carries a feeling or a sensation from a moment. Awesome.

Not one or the other is the hallmark of great poetry.

*Bzzt* Death of the  Author Poet essentially marks a part of my philosophy regarding this. I will not pretend to have something profound to say. Because if you know me, you know how little I care about changing the world. It’s none of my business until it reaches my doorstep. It never used to be like this. I used to care. And maybe I still do (too much even) — but it sucks seeing things staying the same …. … … *bzzt*

Sorry, lost connection there. I hope you’re having a nice day. 

 

 

Star Dust(er).

“Contempt prior to investigation”

Daydream about my failure

Knowing that’s where that reality starts and ends

As a compound to the makings of a flawed theoretical capacity.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  robrey

There are many crimes we’ve come to identify over the course of history; and many others we’ll continue to uncover as the world changes. But one that continues to get to me the most is the stealing of dreams.

I’m talking about breaking someones’ spirit till they choose not to do something they love.

This is perhaps one of the most evil things I’ve ever witnessed. And it may sound like I’m catastrophizing, but the truth is when someone has their dream stolen from them (either through devaluation or invalidation) — well, I feel the world has lost something.

Don’t let anyone break your spirit. Most people think they know everything– including what’s best for you. They don’t.

<<The following part is for lovers of the strawman>>

I’m not saying don’t listen to people entirely. I’m saying listen to people within reason. Don’t just flow.

Spin.

If you could spend a second in my shoes

You would come to the same realization:

That what you think of me doesn’t matter.

I have enough personality to play the part of the father,

The mother, the suicidal son, the closeted daughter

And the posse of deviants hiding in the reeds

— Waiting for lights out …

Because they’ve been casing the family’s house for weeks.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: theirison

Spacetime Delivery.

I was never taught how to appreciate poetry

I was birthed on the periphery of unknown space

Lost, with stars as a guide — crash landed on earth

— Because why the hell not.

I had heard whispers — that the planet is an ongoing party.

That it’s where you come when you’re low on thrill and inspiration.

…. I had to see for myself.

 

I was surprised — disappointed —

— That this planet is as much as it gets

For those that choose to call it home.

I decided to speak — communicate — most could hear the sounds

But few came close to understanding what I was saying,

How could they? All they heard was the anonymous DJ pumping the music.

I lost all hope — perhaps I chose the wrong place to make my landing.

If there was ever a wholesome party here… It’s been dead.

 

“Not really” said poetry, lulling me to the dance floor

“You have yet to talk to me”

Words with a voice so androgynous —

— so fiercely braided with the mystic — enchanting —

An alien cadence with limitless charge for my neurochemistry

I found my first love in poetry — that’s why I stayed.

Poetry. The primary to this polyamory 

The everything that makes everyone an easy secondary.

 

Our conversation, from that day,

Has long since turned into an iron-clad declaration

 From then — now — till a point in time when reptilian brains stop observing …

The day when your vision turns black and you have no idea what just happened

When you have made yourself at home in the primordial chaos.

 

Swaying with ethereal spirits among the stars

Choosing where to mark your next destination

Whatever you do — don’t believe the rumors tossed by the intergalactic community

Earth is an okay party …nothing too special

The equivalent of Poyais in the Milky Way Galaxy

The essence of it’s beating heart and value stemming from the creatives.

 

There are far too many places to choose from

Other places I could have easily gone

But I just had to see what all the fuss is about.

Consider my FOMO cured

When you get another chance

… Try not to pick the same party twice.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: robrey

 

 

 

 

A Series Of Unpopular Opinions (12)

A series of unpopular opinions. Share a thought, no matter how crazy or critique the ones other people have chosen to share. The point is to have fun provided we all keep an open mind and respect each others views. Healthy debates are welcome, extended discussions even more so.

<< Held (almost) every Friday >>

For those curious as to why I don’t do this every single Friday, well, sometimes the “unpopular” opinions I find are popular. Which defeats the purpose.

Takes a while to find really unpopular opinions.

*******************************************************

dcsy3vp-dc336c0d-fbe4-45dc-9ada-0bdb5dc6ef69

I shared three unpopular opinions in the last post. Thank you to those that participated.

Unpopular opinion #2 I just want a simple boring life by u/newCoder250

Response(s):

Anne Leueene “#2 A Simple and boring life. Whaaaaat ? Who would want that? You might as well be dead from the start. Life is not simple! and it can only be boring if you are an exceptionally boring person”

Raw Earth Ink “#2 – I completely agree and actually somewhat similar to my own life decisions. Other than the 9-5 bit. Or only living 40 years. But living a “boring” life? Check. Not caring about superficial shit? Check. Doing the quiet things that bring me peace and a smile? Check”

O.D. “Anything that gets me as far away from drama as possible is a win. And if the absence of drama is boredom, then so be it lol”

*******************************************************

Unpopular Opinion #3 It’s perfectly acceptable to break up with someone with mental health issues by u/LokiiVegas

Response(s):

Raw Earth Ink “#3 – I agree that it’s okay to break off a relationship for ANY reason. Yes. I said it: any. When you go into a relationship, it’s not a binding contract. It’s at-will. If it’s working, great. If it’s not, great. If it works for one but not the other, great. No one should feel guilty for walking away from a relationship. With or without a reason. Staying with a person BECAUSE they have a mental illness, in my opinion, is more disturbing. Because you are together for the wrong reasons and creates an unhealthy relationship for BOTH”

O.D. ^^”Everything Tara said”^^

*******************************************************

Thanks to Anne Leueene and Raw Earth Ink for participating and sharing their thoughts. Very much appreciated.

*******************************************************

dbph7lk-e2301c7c-4ce4-41b0-b85f-f67f19b5ddba

As for today’s unpopular opinion(s) We have four. Check them out:

(Note: These opinions are in no way reflective of my personal views or biases; just ones I think will spark interesting dialogue in the comment section) 

Unpopular opinion #1 I love when old men stare at me at nude beaches by u/krunkou

Honestly I love when crusty ass old men stare at me at nude beaches (I’m female btw) People complain about it but nothing beats having an old dude come up to you to awkwardly chat while half chubbed

and no I’m not tryna get with these men or egg them on, I just eat up that kind of attention. feels good getting compliments no?

Unpopular opinion #2 If profanity offends you, you shouldn’t be working in an adult work environment by u/decayingprince

Seriously, if hearing the word “fuck” hurts your feelings, you have bigger problems than someone else’s vocabulary. I could understand if someone directed the word at you, but when someone just uses it as emphasis, there’s really nothing to be upset about. Just put on your big kid pants and deal with it.

Unpopular opinion #3 The death of a pet should be socially accepted and given vacation from work to grief your loss as with any family member that passed away by u/Honestless

As per the title. I hear a lot of people going through the loss of a pet and not being able to take a vacation for a few days so they can properly grief.

You spend years of your life with your pets, they’re closer to you than most family members and still, some bosses would not give a vacation for the fact that “The death of your pet is not an important enough event for which you would not be able to work.”

I know for certain that when and hopefully not soon my dog will die, I would be devastated. Going to work would be the last thing I would like to do in that case.

Unpopular opinion #4 It is not romantic/cute to take food from my plate by u/MinuteEconomy

This goes especially to girlfriends. There’s nothing wrong with sharing food, the part that is annoying is when you take food from my plate without asking and then not apologizing for it by smiling at me especially if it was something that I was saving to eat for last. By doing that, you have ruined my psyche and my whole meal because I usually plan my bites and how I’m going to eat it.

If you want some, order some for yourself or just ask, it’s not that hard.

*******************************************************

What are your thoughts and opinions? Let me know in the comments. I’ll be sure to link your contribution to your blog for all the credit.

See you in the comments(?)

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: snatti89

 

 

 

Hikikomori.

I don’t see the sun rise,

I hear it.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  snatti89

I love this place. But the honest truth is, there are times I just want to disappear and never come back. Nothing to do with the community; its full of lovely people — sometimes I just can’t deal with all of it. I’ve already isolated myself from pretty much everyone I held dear — and I wish it was for attention, I really do. ‘Cause at least I would know what to do next.

But the truth is I can’t stand most people. Call me what you want, but there is no statistical evidence that says everyone has healthy people around them. And maybe you do — good for you. If I have healthy people around me I sure as hell want to know where they are. And if they are healthy, I suppose they don’t meet my standard.

Maybe I just enjoy being alone.

Am I the healthiest person? No. But I work damn hard to keep my mouth shut unless I have something I feel needs to be said. I’ve been petty, I’ve been vindictive, manipulative and narcissistic. I’ve also been on the receiving end. I know where to start and stop. I know who has my best interests and who doesn’t.  Because when you don’t have many people to talk to and you listen (like actually listen) you see patterns very clearly.

I can’t even handle calls anymore. Prolonged exposure to peoples voices tends to get under my skin.

If someone isn’t badgering me for being a recluse they are trying to tell me the “best” way to live. Giving me solutions — all the while skipping the part of how they are miserable and are constantly whining to me. If you have it all figured out, why do you come to me for unprompted therapy?

It’s funny. I never thought I’d be such a recluse. But I get it now — more than ever. I could say I’m isolated because when I choose to care, I care too much. And when someone steps on my toes it hits a lot harder. That’s what happens when you put your heart into a moment. But other people can’t be expected to understand that. 

There is no way I can say anything I want to say without offending someone — so I’ll just leave it at that. I’ll just come across as abrasive.

I suppose the best way to get anything across is to give “10 tips on how to stay positive” or work SEO algorithms to my benefit. But I’m not that person — as I’ve said, time and time again.

Or maybe under it all I’m just a horrible human being. If this all sounds too complicated I suggest you go with this one. Lord knows its too hard to think these days. Categorize sh*t to make space for other less strenuous tasks. Let’s pretend all the heavy hitting stuff doesn’t exist until it knocks on our door. 

Do whatever you want, It’s your life. All I know is I need a break.

Bye.