Imposter Syndrome.

A part of me feels like this is a fever dream

Like everything is happening, passing me by,

Surreal, a pebble among many, placed firmly,

Still, despite the flow of sensations.

I’ve since found an approximation of peace, what it means to me,

Transient — elusive — within reach, on a good day. And then I wake up.

I materialize my castle in the realm of darkness and light

But I keep my co-ordinates a secret,

Because when you share your foundation with the world

There will always be idiots hellbent on testing it.

I know a lot, but not enough to root myself in ideologies

People praise my intelligence, but I continue to question it often,

Debunking my own assumptions.

I refuse to be a part of any community; averse to group-think.

I kill my ego like I breathe oxygen

All to continue being a sponge; receptive to the flow of new experiences.

I don’t internalize compliments because people rarely mean what they say.

There’s the universe that exists within me, and the universe that exists outside

Poetry is the cryptograph, the mediator — tether, between me and those that are willing

Willing, to peek into the sunless parts of my mind. It’s dark here.

Sometimes I feel like an imposter.

I feel like an imposter until I remember that I’ve fallen victim again

Fallen victim again, to the percolative effect of participating in our shared reality

Our shared reality makes everyone a subject

A subject to encroaching values and metrics

Values and metrics that were never mine

Never mine, and yet they hold onto me tight

So I dismember all foreign limbs and set a date for a future appointment.

A Repeat.

Because noone else will go through the trouble of maintaining my Kingdom;

And even if they miraculously manage to, it won’t live up to my standard.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: theirison

Novelty And Solar Tattoos.

Novelty is often concealed by the curtain of will and representation

Our perception is an engine fueled through earthly interpretations

By ourselves, others — by the past, the present, the expected

Red isn’t “red” because it’s red.

Red is “red” because we needed to communicate

With some semblance of validity, across time and space.

So when I talk about exploring the unknown, I mean it.

To be an ensemble of photons shot from the sun

Phasing past leering clouds, towering trees and blanketing leaves

To place my distinct, uninterrupted mark on shade in a bid to kiss Earth

— Is, to me, the closest estimation, of what it means

To lock lips with creativity.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: AngelGanev

Equity Aversion.

Being intelligent isn’t about

How many people you can leave inside your trail of dust;

It’s about how many people you can bring along with you

Despite the trail of dust.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: ItsEndy

This micro poem came to me when I was reflecting on the qualities of a good teacher (Note I said “good” not “the best”). We’ve got the obvious ones, such as emotional intelligence and being knowledgeable in your field. But I think it’s equally important to be able to impart that same knowledge effectively.

“Effectively”, in this case, obviously means imparting knowledge with as little mental resistance as possible. Making something complex into something very simple.

When someone asks you something, it’s not your opportunity to show them how much you know because no one ever stroked your ego. It’s instead an opportunity to share ideas and potentially learn from one another. 

You’d be surprised how often people can’t answer simple questions, because it stops being about answering the question, and turns into a live performance.

I’m writing this down because this advice will continue to be useful in my profession, you’re welcome to take it too.

Clinical Dating Strategies.

Love died the moment I was told exactly

— Not approximately —

But Exactly, how to show it.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: snatti89

“But O.D. some people actually appreciate being told what to do, how to do it and when to do it”.

And they should.

I believe in what I would call a Divine Ethos. That there’s a guiding principle in every human being that tugs at them every time they are about to make a bad decision.

Some might say principles that govern people vary with each community or culture. If we’re to take child soldiers for example, how would the divine ethos apply to them when they’ve been raised in a culture that rewards them for killing? To that, I would say the divine ethos still applies because even those child soldiers have a code they have to abide by. Off the top of my head, I would say “Don’t betray your brothers in arms” and “Leave no man behind” seem like reasonable tenets for such a community.

Relax strawman, this example does not mean I support having child soldiers, but it helps emphasize my point.

Love is now incredibly difficult given the standards and systems put in place to facilitate it. I’m not actively looking for love, but I see the challenges faced by those looking to find it. You can’t simply show love anymore, you have to show it in a specific way. And I understand everyone has their preferences. But some of these preferences come across as people ordering a sex doll with specific measurements and moaning capabilities.

You’ve got to have this — you’ve got to have that— you need to be able to do this — you need to be able to do that.

And it goes on and on …

We all have standards. But there’s a difference between screening Joe Goldbergians and strong-arming the world for a robot incapable of individual thought. Call me old fashioned but, I think I find love more fascinating when I trust the other person enough to know what could potentially work and not work. To let that divine ethos work within them and approximate what works for the both of us, because they’re human, just like me.

And if they turn out to be a serial killer, well, at least I’ll die having fun.

About Overly Opinionated People (w/ Dr. K.W)

I usually take it upon myself to dive right into these topics and share my own experiences, but I think we’ve done this dance too many times. I could also say I’m a little tired of hearing myself speak, which is why I invited Dr. Kno. Witall to share her professional opinion. 

For those that haven’t met Dr. Kno. Witall, you’re in for a treat. I wanted to list all of her achievements but she asked me not to; because she’s so humble.

In the following interview, I asked the good Doctor to share her thoughts on overly opinionated people. And with the little time she had, she offered me great insight.

I will refer to myself as (O.D.) and the good Doctor with her initials (K.W.) in the transcript.

Ready? Go.

O.D. : I see a lot of definitions floating around for what constitutes as being an overly opinionated person. How would you define them?

K.W. : Just gonna go right for the jugular huh… no “hello”, no nothing? I can respect that.

I’ll condense the definition of what it means to be an “overly” opinionated person into five key traits. if you carry ALL five of these, it may be time to clean the closet:

  • You always dominate the conversation.
  • You don’t listen, you wait for your chance to talk.
  • You never change your mind.
  • You jump to conclusions.
  • You know something, about everything.

O.D. : If I may ask, why do overly opinionated people exist? Can’t we, like, replace them how we would a faulty fridge or something?

K.W. : I often find myself asking the same question O.D. .See, at the root of overly opinionated people lies a desire to be validated.

Remember, having an opinion –or many — isn’t inherently a bad thing. It’s when you’re compelled to abrasively share hard stances over a wide range of topics/issues (unprovoked) that you may need to start regulating yourself. Those around you may be quiet, but that doesn’t mean they’re enjoying or even listening to what you have to say.

You often find overly opinionated people hi-jacking conversations.

They use these hi-jacks to share their unsolicited opinions. The roads to most — if not all their opinions — tend to lead back to themselves.

You can find similar parallels in people who “Listen to respond” instead of “Listening to understand”.

Overly opinionated people don’t listen to understand what you have to say; they listen,  waiting for a chance to speak.

O.D. : Is there a point to reasoning or perhaps even arguing with an overly opinionated person?

K.W. : If you’re looking for a time-sink of a hobby, yes. 

Consider looking at it this way:

When strongly opinionated people are ham-fisting (not sharing) their opinion, they talk like they have pressure built up, and the words they say come out forced and rushed.

Their whole demeanor, right out of the gate says “I’m Right”. More often than not, they’re ready to argue to the death whilst holding an irrational premise. They can be very uncomfortable to be around.

Do you know any “overly” opinionated people in your life?

O.D. : None worth mentioning.

K.W. : Because it would be a little sad to orchestrate this entire interview to help justify calling out a single person, now wouldn’t it, O.D.?

O.D. : Wha – Whoa – Hey, easy with the psycho-analyseees Doc!

K.W. : And for your final question?

O.D. : How do we deal with overly opinionated people? Asking for a friend.

K.W. : Set boundaries, Change topics, Ignore or if you’re able Walk Away.

O.D. : Succinct. Almost like we spent the entire afternoon rehearsing this — Thank you for sharing your professional knowledge, Doctor.

K.W. : Thank you for creat — having me.


Wow. What an amazing interview. With a real person.

Dr. Kno. Witall was unfortunately too busy for further questioning. Any other interviews I have with her will have to come out of my wallet.

She gave me this one for free because she’s very nice, and very humble as she once told me. And now I’m telling you again, as I’ve already done before. And as we all know, someone only has to abide by a sequence of prohibitions and virtues for a relative amount of time before we can judge them as having an unfailing morality.

Keep an eye out for my upcoming Onlyfans account, it’s the only way I can think of to raise money for the next interview. Say what you will, but I’m doing my part in raising awareness for important issues. 

Sorry, what? You want Dr. Kno. Witall’s contact information to verify if she’s a real doctor?

Oh, the nerve. Here I am, sharing this information for free, and here you are going out of your way to ask me all these valid questions!

Everyone knows Dr. Kno. Witall is real — very real, okay? AND, a Doctor.  

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: tatasz

Executive Control Network.

When poetry flirts, I simp, like my life depends on it

Pooling ideas with the surface area of a vast ocean

Curious? Dare to dive deep — Seek one, run out of oxygen

Or get crushed under the rising  pressure of chaos made divine,

I ideate like my mind isn’t mine, like I’ve murdered

And my victim’s demons continue to haunt me.


But I kill their ghosts anyway, because I don’t know any better,

A new born  — naked — receptive, to spiritual energies that have long since faded

Sensory input hard-coded to defy Earth’s cultural vacuum

As predetermined as the ecliptic,

Drunk on the predictable, the certain, the specific,

If prosaic had a colour, it would be the one you see

In those that believe they are a gift to every living being.


A waste of time — arguing with an ignorant mind —

Head burrowed deep in the mud of sludgy confusion

Incapable of hearing, breathing, let alone understanding.

I let them suffocate, because then …maybe then …

They’ll rid themselves of themselves and we’ll get to keep our hands clean.


Goodwill rises like the sun over an icy horizon.

The warm embrace reminds me not to take more than I’m due

From a world long since ruled by inflatable giants

A voice reminds me to be patient — that it’s okay to be tired.

The consensus does not justify my pain 

It only reminds me that what I feel is as real as anyone else.

And so I listen, laying my pen to rest — signed:

Till our next talk, Creator.


– O.D. ©2022


Art by:  superschool48


Soul-Bonding Conversion Rates.

“Beautiful”, she said, looking into his eyes.

“But not as beautiful as you”, he replied.

She smiled, for he was right; she was beautiful.

His eyes were tireless in mirroring her form back at her.

So Beautiful, she thought.

Hoping it wouldn’t be confused with anyone else this time.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: tatasz

Look, Mom. I Made It …

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

To be the best murderer in a world of murderers. To be a reputable advocate for the devil. To have the most potent poison.

This quote highlights fragments of my internalized philosophy regarding the world.

Yeah. This place is a mess.

We can agree that it’s easier to work on our inner peace than it is to bring peace to the outside world. I look at everything and I see no redeeming qualities. Noone actually knows what they’re doing, or where they’re going. In many ways, people are hoping everything keeps working as intended — a war could start tomorrow and this would be my last blog post.

There are systems that have persisted, I believe. Systems that people choose to engage with to be better identified as successful members of society. Only because those same systems are entrenched and continue to be fed.

I like to believe our material world is in many ways reflective of the dominant ideology carried by the supposed “elite” members of society.

Corporate culture of greeding profits — modern age bourgeoisie.

Performative progressives calling themselves “influencers” — contemporary prophets (to those that give AF)

NFT obsessives — Gregor McGregor apologists

 … the list goes on.

And in all that, you find people who have apparently “made it”. They know the blueprint and how it all works. It’s a kind of natural selection at play. Realizing that there are parts of our culture that have since gone off the rocks but choosing to engage with it regardless. Not as a means of survival. But out of desperation, to be included; to be validated. Because you’re a pariah if you don’t — attention-seeking —weak, if you don’t seize opportunities that are morally bankrupt. 

Like the quote suggests — is mastering these poisonous systems what we’ve come to identify as being great or successful? Having more material gain over others? Being able to compel millions to action that is self-serving? 

If so, consider me underwhelmed.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: Kuvshinov-Ilya

The GigaChad Vortex.

I love memes, which makes finding a favourite near impossible.

Memes are, in many ways, a form of art — entirely subjective. They open up avenues of thought (assuming someone was thinking before) and re-contextualize joy or tragedy depending on the curator. 

Memes have a nuanced power that skates the razor’s edge.

Used wisely, memes can raise awareness — used poorly, memes can be damaging.  The dark side of memes often involves the reality killing that takes place. The vignette of a tragic event can be used for a joke till future curators have no idea what took place in the original context of the image.

Check the link in the “References” at the bottom of the post for an example of this.

Today, however, I’m not really looking at the dark side of memes per se. I’m looking at the GigaChad meme and the subtle commentary it provides with regards to issues affecting our contemporary society— conscious or otherwise. 

I’m going to look at this meme and break down some of the prevailing themes I’ve noticed during my research. This meme is incredibly layered, so much so, that whilst researching it, I ended up falling into a dizzying rabbit hole of insightful connections.

If you’ve never seen a GigaChad meme, allow me to show you as I continue with the post: 



To answer your question, yes, this person you see in the meme does actually exist. However, his original pictures have been photoshopped to turn him into the, um, “Perfect specimen”(?).

He’s a Russian model named Ernest Khalimov, but the rest of the internet simply addresses him as “Gigachad”.

“Chad” (if you’re unaware) is slang and short-form for what was originally known as “Chad Thundercock” — the archetypal Alpha male who is sexually desirable to all who see him. 

The GigaChad meme was created on 4chan as a form of self-deprecating humour. Memes would often surface with  accompanying text saying something like “The guy she tells you not to worry about” or “Her Ex” [insert GigaChad meme] vs “You” [insert comically frail man]”

The short version: Gigachad memes are often used to show what a”superior” man looks like or it’s usually implied with a picture of GigaChad and text like “Men who don’t simp” or “Anyone who doesn’t support [insert something]”



So in this context of the Gigachad meme, anyone who keeps their cool in an online game is in many ways a “Chad” or “Gigachad”


The MisANDgyny — CHAD-STACY — (FEM/IN)CEL Paradox.

Conceptually speaking, imagine the Gigachad meme on a detective board with a web of red threads leading to and away from it.

Red threads that connect to different communities on the internet (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Reddit), all with their varying beliefs, opinions and subcultures.

What started as a joke from individuals using self-deprecating humour ironically — depicting what all men “wished they could be” — was soon being used unironically to try and make a point.

People share opinions such as:

“Where have all the good men gone?” [insert Gigachad meme] 


“Women’s unrealistic expectations” [insert Gigachad meme]

Among other things. And I personally think that’s funny and ridiculous. 

Notable communities I’ve seen use these types of tactics are prominently misandrists, misogynists, Incels and Femcels. Of course, most of them don’t come out and say it; the label would leave a bad taste in their mouth. But some carry the moniker, with pride too.

I believe the Gigachad meme serves as some kind of pressure release. Offering these communities a much-needed platform to air out their opinions with some colloquial context.

Which is Crazy. And interesting — All at the same time.

This meme is the embodiment of an entire conversation — an ongoing war that exists between a cavalcade of communities on the internet. And in this case, I’m just an observer — because the only way I see this “war” ending is in blood (I’m not even being facetious when I say that) the hate that exists in these communities is in some ways valid.

But it’s also F*CKING INSANE.

Here are the red threads I’ve found (So far) :


INCELS (Acronym for an Involuntary celibate male)

“Red pill radicals, Comment section hate speech aficionados, Onlyfans whales” 


So this is the Chad depiction I managed to siphon from the Incel wiki. 

Yeah, you heard me — there’s a wiki that goes deep into Inceldom and events that predate GigaChad memes and the like. You can go looking for it if you want, not about to offer them free traffic.

This Chad depiction obviously carries a lot of scorn. Making fun of the standards set on men, for what peek “sexual appeal” is. Exaggerating how ridiculous one would have to be to try and become this — “thing” I guess.

The point here is fair, incel or not. There is no definitive “Alpha” or perfect specimen. There are only people and their preferences. Validating this point does not mean I agree with the incel doctrine, however.

See, I’ve met some incels; even talked to some. Most of them either whine or complain about how good looking people can get away with doing what they want. Now is this true? Maybe. It entirely depends on the context.

But should this “maybe” serve as a crutch for bitterness and resentment of women. No.

Some incels get incredibly violent, advocating hate speech in comment sections and I think that’s absolutely disgusting.

But enough about incels. Time for the next red thread connecting to GigaChad.


“Kill All Men. Girl-Boss taking no prisoners. Calypso Invokers” 


If we can agree that there are stupid men in this world; I see no reason why we can’t agree that there are stupid women too. So stupid in fact, that they form communities centred around manipulating gullible men. Peddling strategies on how to get a man to raise a kid that’s not his own and getting away with it. Like WTF. 

The phrase “Kill All Men” surfaced as a way to empower women who may have endured sexual assault or wanted to speak out against internalized misogyny. Fair and fine.

I believe what concerns me here is that this phrase, again like the GigaChad meme, is being taken unironically by edgelords and other radical types. 

You know the ones I mean — “The men are trash” gals who only say so because their crush never asked them out or some other petty sh*t. I don’t like associating myself with these types of ladies because their thought formations pivot towards trying to outdo me in everything. Because they don’t see me, as an individual or a person. They only see a man.

Avid readers know I’m A-sexual. Which makes it even more frustrating when their assumptions are turned into facts.

I just want to say. “Lady, IDGAF about your body and your looks, only who you are without any of those things. If you have a mind, please, allow me to engage with it”

I just wish some of these ladies would stop assuming every man is out to get them (romantically). Also cutting on the double standards.

Like how “misogyny should be a crime and misandry shouldn’t be”

Where is the accountability? Do you not think by having double standards we risk replicating the problem? Not every woman is an angel. Jesus Christ!


“Patriarchy apologists, Waaah-men belong in the kitchen. ‘Big d*ck’ can be found under their annual Christmas wishlist”


Ew. These men just f*cking piss me off. This “Alpha male” culture bullsh*t is a complete joke.

I’ve seen YouTube videos from self-proclaimed Alphas looking to offer life advice to men who are unlucky with women. All I see in these videos are con-men looking to earn a quick buck by selling you books or media that will teach you nothing but how to be an a**hole.

You don’t need to treat women like crap in the hopes of inducing a Stockholm syndrome variant because you have no way of maintaining a healthy relationship. You don’t need to fuck around and treat people like sh*t until they “prove” their worth to you. You just need to be a human being. 

I suppose as an A-sexual I don’t see life as

“in a relationship” and “not in a relationship” or “Hot girls” and “Not hot girls”

But as

“I’m here”“I’m still here” — “I’m still f*cking here”

I’m not trying to impose my standards but goddamn! There’s more to life than being told you have a big d*ck and a high body count.


“Incels. But polite — F*ck Stacy though, she’s a B***h. Would date Chad if they got the chance; but alas”


Not documenting the hate speech that comes from Femcels is a double standard that actively annoys me.

So Stacy in this meme is the virtual equivalent of GigaChad. The theorized woman who, when she enters the room “every” guy looks at and wants to date. She is described as dressing provocatively but not being very intelligent or interesting.

A “p0rnstar embodiment of female beauty and sexuality who incels desperately want but won’t date if they’ve been ‘ruined’ by having sex with Chads”, I took this verbatim. And I already have a headache from all these gender politics.

If you hear me say ‘Men are useless’ and you cheer; remember to cheer when I say ‘Women are useless’ too.

Men and women are all useless in their own unique ways. It’s just a different flavour of useless. And I think the sooner we accept this, the sooner we can start coming to some kind of theorized resolution. 

I understand many articles tilt towards painting femcels as victims (only) because that gets them views.

There’s a market for gullible ladies (and men, as stated previously) that just want to be told they are the best at everything and that men/women are the problem; leaving no room for personal accountability. Well, I’m here to say men and women aren’t the best. In fact, men and women are equally embarrassing and I’ve just about had enough of both whilst going through their communities.

Through reading all of these articles I came to realize how someone becomes non-binary. There’s nothing impressive about being a man or a woman; especially in 2021.

Makes me wish there were other genders in the world; genders so far removed from the standard human anatomy. I don’t want to be a man, woman or anything in this world; and I suppose in many ways I’m already none of these things.

This body is just a vessel that allows me to participate in our reality. I feel like I’m wearing a VR headset except this body is the headset. The real me just needs to take them off.


So yes, I love the GigaChad meme. It’s an endless onion. From just one image comes so many findings. It’s like the meme is a framework for gender politics.

Want my opinion? I say put the Gigachad meme in a damn museum. Or Stacy — or whoever — if the distinction is that important to you.


This post is what took most of my time. I kept re-visiting this draft trying to get this piece in order but it’s finally done. No more research for a while.

More poetry maybe?  😉

– O.D. ©2021


Jennings, R. 2018. Incels Categorize Women By Personal Style And Attractiveness. Vox.

Waugh, R. 2018.  Forget ‘incles’, ‘femcels’ are the new online terror to haunt your dreams. Metro.

Lyon, S. 2020. “Kill All Men”: On Humor and Trauma. The Bottom Line. University of California: Santa Barbara.

Baker, S, J. 2021. Misogyny is Oppression, Misandry the Response. Age of Awareness.

Stuff. 2015. Model Heidi Yeh says plastic surgery meme ruined her life. Available at: . Last accessed on 25 November 2021.

Mind Bloom Cornucopia.

Haggling words — unaware it won’t matter to a writer;

Your offering is… Shallow. Narrow. Rigid. 

Its the kind of perspective I use as a reminder —

To be appreciative

Of not being cursed with such a cordoned ideation.

Your desire to swindle peoples’ kindness has led you to me

And in many ways, you ought to be thankful.

Not many get to learn their lesson before their circuit breaks …

See, I carry a flame that turns your candle into shade

Your shout, into a murmur, only heard by strays looking to investigate —

— Rumors of ghosts screaming through the cracks of a decrepit mausoleum.

I am the first and last of my kind; the progenitor and the progeny;

The creator and the created; a spirit of ceaseless permutations.

A series of complications; A symbiosis of processes.

And your mistake was assuming I’m only human. Like you.

But that’s alright — we all get to be wrong at least once,

By the time I’m done, you’ll know

That there’s a piece of me in every living being.

This poet I’ve possessed, I use only as a warning.

Try me again — please, I beg of you.

Try me again …

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  tatasz

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