Remotely Universal – Rewind.

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I’ve been to the past, I’m already back, the decision to go was made long before I had the ticket. Clinging to bits of my past, my memory is ensnared, addicted to the thought of fine tuning mistakes made in the precedent. I saw myself, surrounded by friends, looking care-free, embracing each moment. So naive, any greener and I would be one with nature. I could see the glimmer in my eyes, the way I looked at people, seeing a radiant light within strangers; no walls around me. I was done spectating, I needed to talk to myself; this was my long-awaited chance to right the wrongs I had made; making poor choices obsolete. A conversation in the mind with my past self, my only means of direct communication. I told him, without pause, to get hardened, to lower expectations, to blow out the well-lit candles I saw in strangers. Much to my surprise, he was not listening; his hands were in his ears.

Don’t you know who I am? I asked, only to get a gentle smile in response.

You need to listen to me, I’m here to help you. He told me he already knew that, but how? it did not make any sense. Six years ago, how could I have known that I would see myself?

 

“That’s easy, you’ve been here, five times to be exact”

 

Five times? How was that even possible, I only had one ticket.

 

“I’ve already said no four times, trust me, you’re not gonna change my mind” , he paused and smiled, “Besides, your times’ up”

 

-and just like that, I was back. Was it possible, that through five separate alternate realities I had opted to go back and change the past? and failed?

 

I sat down, trying to soak in what i had just witnessed. Maybe all along I had been looking at everything the wrong way; maybe I’ve been fooling myself from the start. I’m not stronger, I’m not more perceptive, I’m just broken. In a battle with life, i had fought multiple rounds, but lost. My past self, he was focused, repellent of negative thoughts, ready to take on anything and everything thrown at him.

All along, I had been thinking I’m fighting what life has to offer, but in truth, I was running away; unable to cope, accepting defeat. With such a realization I could not help but laugh at myself and how weak I had become. My views of a future self being wiser, just like the movies, had been watered down; never in a million years would I have thought I could learn something from my young and immature mind. Looking at myself in the mirror, I see a small glimmer in my eyes, its faint, but I see it returning. I’m smiling because I know what it means, I’m about to have one more battle round with life.

 

Dante 

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/31/writing-challenge-time-machine/

CLOUDs

(Originally posted June 13, 2013)

The one who will change your world, everyone waits for such a person. It’s the one who willspark a particular side in you and change your perspective on love entirely. Where they are, and what they’re doing is an unknown, but as days go by, you draw ever closer. The relationship will not be perfect because of the persons’ stunning good looks, it will in fact be who they are and what they do that brings the best out of you. It is the one who, unlike the rest of the horde, will not be an additional statistic to your list of lingering problems, but a solution to all of them. Their love will be so strong and warm, it will feel as if they have a physical manifestation of their feelings towards you. Whenever they are in close proximity, you will feel like you’re in a safe haven. It is that one person who will understand you like no other human could. The one who will not tolerate you, but love you unconditionally. That one person who has the ability to increase synergy in a relationship regardless of an argument. It is the one who will give you a reason to smile after a long and hard day, a happiness donor if you will. It is the one you can’t wait to stand with at the end of the aisle. Such a person is undoubtedly hard to find, but eliminating the possibility is tantamount to giving up. People who believe in finding such a person are considered wishful thinkers by a larger fraction of the populace. Indeed, they might be, however it seems notably better to be on the team that still believes in true love and fairy tales than the one that settles for the first frog they see in the pond. Patience is a key virtue, no-one ever said the one you’ll ultimately love will have a name tag. The person could be right next to you, or you may not share any geography or landmarks at the moment, but one thing is for certain, you draw ever closer.   -Dante                                                                                                                                                 CLOUDs part 2

A Hall Of Mirrors.

Waking up from a world I thought was real, looking everywhere and seeing multiple projections of the person I’ve become. Through slumber, I find circumstantial footage of myself, reacting to events in ways I never thought I would. A dream with a twisted idea of mathematicssubtractions I never saw coming, people dying, leaving me powerless in the wake of a situation I thought I would be able to handle. Mirrored reflections, all reacting in different ways, none mimicking my initial motions. Doing what I can, polishing the mirrors, clearing the smudges and fingerprints intended to hide my true nature; each step counts, I can feel the need for progression, I hear it, as if my shoes are laced with wind-chimes.

Has the time come for me to be open? like a graciously provided Christmas present; willing to show content I keep on the inside. A habit i’m not familiar with, a stranger to my own emotions. Not that what I hold is invaluable, but it goes to show what I truly feel. One with the algorithm, calculating each move and staying true to myself, sheer authenticity; that is how I plan to maintain and increase the intended velocity. A tide of change, washing away what was, and bringing onto shore what will be.

 

-Dante

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