Loveless Nights And Foaming Rims.

The unnamed guy series 1

Here is the unnamed guy series part 2, spiritual successor to the unnamed girl series; which is already complete, you can check it out here. I’m curious to see where this story goes from here. You’re in, yeah?

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The cost of being real. No one ever explicitly says it.

You lose everything — you start to question yourself often

Questioning whether you ever truly had anything.

Passing me compliments? Please,

Send those through an indefinite quarantine process

Not everyone means what they say.

And you’d be a fool to think otherwise.

I’m not the hero, nor am I the villain

But I wish I was. That way I could have a role to fill,

To be subservient to the idea of purpose —

Maybe then everything would be a little easier

Seeing everything in black and white like designing a zebra.

But that’s wishful thinking

Once you see much of what this world has

It’s hard to go back. I find love at the bottom of a bottle

The circle that touches the coaster embodies the closest I’ll get to a ring

I don’t mean to get esoteric, but blame that on the formation of language

Never would I spoon feed my struggles solely for your entertainment.

Reality is a fabric I’ve since threaded with my own visions

Took time, but I finally have a picture of God behind my eye lids

They’d call that blasphemy but that’s precisely why I’m not in a church

Look at them, open-minded when the pastor is behind the pulpit,

But as dull as a brick as soon as anyone else speaks.

Double standards like incels and toxic feminists.

I stand at the border of what you have yet to understand

I say this politely but, no matter how tempting, “don’t push me”

Yes, I would fall, but you would be the one to die

Loveless nights, sure — but no one ever said freedom comes free

Fall in love and have a mansion full of kids in peace

And while you’re at it. Speak nothing of me.

I don’t owe anyone but the creator my time.

People threaten to leave like I can’t live without them

You would have had better luck when I was nothing but an infant

I spin my words and meanings into a reality I deem fit

Keeping madness at bay as best I can.

Tomorrow is another day — Another day I get to choose

Another day I get to choose whether I want to go through all of this again or not.

So, until then… ….

…. …. ….

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: StephanePellennec

 

Blog Interview w/ Dialectics

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When I found Dante’s blog Dialectics I was immediately drawn to know more. Complete strangers yet not only do we share a name; we share passion for the art. We are the type of individuals you get to understand by reading what we write; no other way really.

Took a while to get everything in order but I’m happy I got the chance to have this interview. There are many things we’ve planned down the pipeline. But before we get to all that awesomeness, let’s check out some of Dante’s answers to my questions. Perhaps we’ll all get a chance to understand the man behind the mystery.

If you’re curious about my answers to his questions you can check them out here

 

What can you tell us about yourself and your blog?

I’m Dante, I love languages. Whether they be spoken or coded – I love learning them and using them. I really enjoy reading – poetry, literature and a lot of novels (sci-fi, horror, dark fantasy and some satirical stuff)

My blog is the truest representation of me and you will learn more about me from reading through it than you would from me telling you. It seems chaotic – the way my mind is – but there is a kind of order hidden within that chaos.

 

What inspired you to start your blog?

I would not necessarily call inspiration rather necessity. I have never had someone I can talk to openly – someone who will listen. I made my blog as a means to say the things I needed to and clear my mind. My thoughts get away with me and it’s a place I put them so they don’t flood my head.

 

How would you describe your blogging style?

Unfiltered. Because my blog is first and foremost about me – what I feel like sharing will usually wind up on there.

 

What are you aware of now that you wish you knew when you started your blog?

I am not restricted to writing about a single thing. I had a blog once – my first one – that was restricted to one subject matter. That did not go as well as I had thought. This may work for other bloggers, but my mind does not function like that – I understand that now.

 

Is there a particular message or theme you wish to evoke to your readers when blogging?

This relates to the quote that resonates with me – I would hope that they learn to appreciate the little things, the small wins. Everyone seems so concerned with being huge and flashy, they overlook that sometimes all you need could be as simple as a smile, a ‘hello, how are you’. Sometimes all you need is for someone to show they care and are there if you need them

 

How much time do you spend writing?

I’m always writing. It may not leave my head or get on the blog, but my mind is a constant stream of thoughts which most of the time I have no control over.

 

I hear many people say ‘blogging is easy’. As a blogger, what are your thoughts on this?

This all depends on the individual really. For some it comes naturally, others have to work harder at it. For me, I’ve always loved books and words so writing, blogging isn’t that difficult.

 

What are you looking forward to doing in the coming months?

The digital marketing course I started. It is out of my usual area of work, so that should be interesting. I’m also hoping to see a very good friend before the year ends, have not seen them since lockdown started.

 

What quote do you most resonate with?

  For the longest time it was 《 à petits pas, j’irai très loin 》 : With little steps I will go very far, which still holds true most of the time but I go back to this one more:

 

To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand And Eternity in an hour.”

 

It inspired this post Grain of Sand

 

Please check out his blog, plenty of interesting content waiting for you there. And Dante, thank you for taking the time to answer my questions, really appreciate it.

We will be back soon.

 

Cusp Of Ruination.

Fumbling in the dark

Yet, when I look within

All I see, is my soul.

Burning, like the rising sun.

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: AngelGanev

The Else-world Inclination.

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*Scribbles* “Okay, Okay Last question — I swear”

“Somehow, I doubt that”

*Ahem* “I’ve been observing everything for a while now.

Tell me, does life for you humans ever get any easier?”

“I don’t know. But if it does, do let me know”

“Yikes. I don’t think I could last a day. How do you cope with all the madness?”

“I mean, you’re ‘here’ aren’t you…”

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: snatti89

 

Anyone else remember the Ridiculousiology series? No? I surely do. Had decided to end it at part 4 but then snatti89 added more art with the charming penguin and I felt compelled to add the final, “Final” part to the series.

No promises, who knows how many more final parts I’ll think of adding to this. On the plus side, it will be consistent with the theme of the entire series.

 

Ridiculousiology 1 

Ridiculousiology 2  

 Ridiculousiology (3): Friendly-fire edition

Ridiculousiology 4

Where The Sun Never Sets.

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No longer am I frustrated by those

That consciously choose to live in my shadow.

… It just means more sun for me.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: AngelGanev

 

 

It’s A Voice, Not An Echo.

I’ve roamed the halls of my mind alone

Long enough to hear a welcome stillness.

A quietness, birthed entirely by the muzzling of lost voices,

All listless whispers deep within my head unequivocally dead;

No other lingering tones,

Apart from one that still chooses to call it home

… My own.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: Erisiar

Puddle For A Deep Dive.

“So, love is conditional

What did you expect? We are only human”

And that’s the unfortunate part, isn’t it …

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: Erisiar

Color Of The Wind.

You, me — or whoever else

Could pour their hearts out on paper,

Tears trickling, dripping, merging with the ink —

Mixing, forming depictions closely resembling,

An impromptu Rorschach test.

 

And when we think we’ve said all we can

With no inhibitions. We look around us and see

That no one cares —

Hell, no one even noticed.

 

And you know what ….

There’s something morbidly hilarious about that.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: CaringWong

 

 

I’m Just A Guy Who Loves Writing.

A break from the poetry/coherent thoughts

I don’t write posts like this often. Usually I’ll share my thoughts through a series or something. But today, I’m just going to say what I feel like saying (which is nothing in particular). I didn’t plan for this post, nor do I really know what I want to write about; I just feel like saying something. 

The good thing about blogging is that those who choose to read what anyone has written have made the conscious decision to follow through. Sometimes you come across garbage and sometimes you come across something you love. Its a risk, but we’re all adults here, right? 

The other day I had just finished work and was on my way home. By the gate one of my students said, “Are you okay?” and with all the pre-programmed dialogue I could muster I simply said, “Yes, thank you” and then she said, “Are you sure?”

Not gonna lie, that hit me. I simply nodded but internally I really asked myself if I was okay. And the true answer is, “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m okay. but I don’t really feel like talking about it. Thinking about it, sure. I’ll let you know what I find, IF I find it. And by then I simply won’t feel like talking about it”.

But I couldn’t say that to her. Hell, the other day some students opened up about their depression and suicidal thoughts. I did the one thing I wish my teachers would have done; be vulnerable. Showing humanity. They were so surprised to hear me say I get depressed, often too. 

“But you never seem  depressed” yeah… I’m not into the whole ruining other peoples day thing. We had a long talk that ended with them telling me they felt much better, as they had been feeling like something was wrong with them. That whole conversation felt like a time capsule. 

It annoys me, you know, being told “I like this version of you” when I’m feeling a little talkative or “Ah, I can see you are happy today! That’s great!” Why? why would you make me aware of that? 

It’s like getting a pet dog (I love dogs) and someone close to you saying “That’s a really nice dog. It’s a shame it’s going to die one day” Okay, thanks? Technically the truth, but what do you do with that information?

Have you ever talked to someone with no personality. I just think they’re the worst. They pick their favorite parts from people and bundle them all into one amalgamate they hope will please everyone around them. You’re getting liked for who you’re not. The pieces you’re using are borrowed and without their original host they wont evolve but dissolve as you weather them down to the bare minimum.  It’s like recess and we’re back at the jungle gym again. Weird segue I know, but I already told you I didn’t plan for this post. I’m just going. Also, I’m hoping everyone that likes my posts on a superficial level has already left so I can start delving deep into what’s bothering me.

I feel like I see the world in a way that just doesn’t make sense to a lot of people. 

“I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about! I feel the same way!”

No. Relax. I don’t doubt your experience, but try not to make this whole thing about you. Some people find comfort in numbers, some find comfort in solitude. I don’t know what gives me comfort, but it’s certainly not those two. I don’t wish people understood me, I don’t wish I earned more money or that I was surrounded by loving people. The truth is, I don’t know …And that’s what sucks.

I don’t believe in absolutes yet a part of me wishes there was one. At the same time, absolutes are incredibly boring. So do I need a challenge? I don’t think so. I find competitive people unbearable outside of official competitions. Keep your score card on the pitch, we don’t need it out here. I think love is stupid, and I find that incredibly sweet. It’s as if its a matter of finding who you want to be stupid with. Also, am I wrong if I say every relationship carries expectations? Unconditional. Yeah, right.

Today, I ordered a frappe and got some kind of tea instead. I ordered it in Thai , so it got lost in translation somewhere. I think conflict is a waste of time especially with regards to beverages so I drank it – no, I didn’t like it, but it added a little variety to my day. Albeit, in an unwelcome way (?)

I get in touch with my feelings in a predominantly logical environment and I get very logical when surrounded by people who value feelings. Everyone is manipulative, the difference is whether its unconscious or conscious. I’m stupid enough to divide categories of manipulation into two in the present but I’m smart enough to be aware of the idea that there are far more subcategories of manipulation to consider. 

I love how I’ve grown. I love how out of a 100, my capacity to judge others has gone down to 0. 1. Someone who shall remain unnamed (and doesn’t read my blog) told me they love satan. I simply nodded and asked why. I didn’t tell them how to live their life or whether they were right or wrong. I only sought to understand. They said “It speaks to my anger”

I said I’m not religious but I believe in something greater than humanity. “So, God?”

And I said yes, I guess, though not in the way many people make God out to be a humorless dictator. And they said “That’s cool. I respect that”

And the conversation ended with us agreeing that people should do what makes them happy. But they shouldn’t hurt others.

I told someone that if I have a kid i’ll love them with all my heart and nothing else will matter. It was probably weeks (or maybe months later) when they said the exact same thing to me as if they were imparting some unknown knowledge I had yet to digest. Am I delirious or was the person just copy pasting my experience? the truth is, I’ll never know because I don’t care. Some people plant seeds, others just wait for the yield to claim it as their own and others sell the same seeds they find after they buy that yield to the person who sows those seeds. Basically my understanding of the world and all its underlying systems.

Natural disasters being that stray metal bolt that ends up going into a jet engine. No-one wanted it to end up there, but it did. All because the engineer was tired from a hard days work of volunteering at a homeless shelter. Good intentions, bad results, bad intentions, good results and vice versa. 

A lady asked when I’m planning to get married and I asked if they’re curious because we’ll all share a bed together. They said “That’s a good one, I’m going to use it in the future” 

You should, it is a good one.

Another case of my philanthropy included an old friend telling me they regretted not calling me a genius in high school, when we were still classmates. She said “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d get a big head”. Alright, that makes sense I guess.

There was a pause, then she laughed saying “Please don’t get a big head now”

“Why would I get a big head? It’s not my first time hearing it”

“Oh my god! I knew you’d say something like that!”

Yes, well, it was a nice reminder anyway. I can appreciate that.

Oh no, another post teetering on fostering negativity. Quick, spice it with something positive …

 

  • Ice-cream is nice.
  • Video games make me happy.
  • I had a nice dream today.

I think I’ve met my positivity quota. Lord knows most can’t handle people sharing their personal truths. But what do I know, I’m just a guy who loves writing.

 

Bye.

 

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: AngelGanev

Duplicitous View.

Life is fun,

Until it’s your turn.

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: Aenami

I’ve seen karma do some crazy things. I would know, I’ve had a few kicks when I thought I could get away with nosense.

Then again, I’ve seen liars get their fair share of kicks too. Good.

You know, I’ve kind of reached a point where if nothing bad happens in over a month I get a little anxious. Dunno what it means to be okay with pain but, I’ve grown a little accustomed to it. It’s okay, you can call me sadistic, I welcome it. BDSM type of stuff is kiddie pool politics compared to the madness going on in my head.

Side note: Please vote in the poll below. Really helps, thanks.