The Sun, The Star And The Rainbow.

Last time I wrote one of these was 2019. I read what I wrote in my previous anniversary post and some part of me is really happy for that version of me. Things were “perfect” in a sense — but some big lessons were waiting just past the horizon. 

It’s been 7 years. 7 years of doing this and —it’s weird because it doesn’t feel that long (It does however when I factor how many posts I’ve written) roughly 800+ ; which isn’t much by the way. 

People rightfully ask why I haven’t published a poetry anthology yet. Lol it’s on the way, trust me. You’ll know when it’s ready 🙂

I’ve met many people during my time here, some of them disappeared unannounced and I hope they are okay wherever they are. Everyone is going through something — but not everyone sticks around.

When we’re not staring at the screen we all have some other stuff going on. 

In the end, I just hope everyone is alright.

 

Bye.

 

– O.D. ©2021

Thoughts Like A Theme Park (Final)

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Time to put this series to rest. It’s the only way I see myself exploring other Spoken Word projects.

 

 

Links to all previous parts are here:

Thoughts Like A Theme Park (Part 1) 

 Thoughts Like A Theme Park (Part 2) 

Thought Like A Theme Park (Part 3)

 

Art by: SuperPhazed

Forever, In Mayfly Years.

You could spend years building a li(f)e

— lose it all in one second.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  AaronGriffinArt

There are many deaths. It’s up to you to decide the one that speaks to you.

A Series Of Unpopular Opinions (8)

A series of unpopular opinions. Share a thought, no matter how crazy or critique the ones other people have chosen to share. The point is to have fun provided we all keep an open mind and respect each others views. Healthy debates are welcome, extended discussions even more so.

<< Held (almost) every Friday >>

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I shared six unpopular opinions in the last post. Thank you to those that participated.

Unpopular opinion #2 The groom is just as important to the wedding as the bride, and should be treated like it by u/TheFlyingBoxcar

Response(s):

anne leueen “#2.The groom is as important as the bride . He is , after all , 50% of the equation. No groom no wedding. I think he is overlooked because he does not get to wear such a fancy costume. And think about how often the Prima ballerina is mentioned and featured but the male lead dancer just appears to be there to life her up in the air. However Nureyev did equalize things through sheer stage presence”

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Unpopular opinion #3 We should normalize couples living together having two separate rooms by u/PickleWitty

Response(s):

L’enthusiast “I agree with #3 couples should have separate rooms because inasmuch as you are part of a couple you are also an individual and there are days you just want your own space. It should be normalized to have your own room/space whatever the reason might be”

rugby843 “Separate rooms were a must when my husband was dying from cancer. A loving relationship between adults should not have separate bedrooms — not a good idea, in my opinion, at any time”

Thanks to Anne leueen , L’enthusiast  and rugby843 for participating and sharing their thoughts. Very much appreciated.

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sunset_by_snatti89_dbd9bjd-fullview

As for today’s unpopular opinion(s) We have five. Check them out:

(Note: These opinions are in no way reflective of my personal views or biases; just ones I think will spark interesting dialogue in the comment section) 

Unpopular opinion #1 Hate towards the homeless is one of the biggest problems that goes vastly unnoticed by u/-kiwi-1

This is coming from someone who has been homeless previously.

Sitting on the side of the street cold, alone and hungry isn’t a nice feeling. People give you weird looks, move their children away from you. It just makes you feel like no one cares, there are people that drop a few coins in or give you some leftovers which was always appreciated but it’s even worse at night. I’ve Been kicked punched pissed on, spat on beaten relentlessly time after time. Shelters are often no better, there are some bad people in there. Drug dealers, criminals. Neither the streets or the shelters seem safe. But you never really hear about it from what I’ve seen.

Unpopular opinion #2 It’s okay to not want to be friends with someone who has a mental illness/ mental health issues by u/tittybunsbeans

I don’t mean it’s okay to be a dick to them, I have a bunch of mental health issues as well. I mean it’s okay to acknowledge that it can be hard to make space and set aside the energy to maintain relationships with people who go through this shit and if at a point in your life you can’t do that, for the sake of your own mental health and sanity, it’s okay to set some boundaries and does not make you an evil or bad person.

Unpopular opinion #3 Companies need to stop using the words ‘only’ and ‘just’ when telling you how much something costs. by u/JesseB342

I know I sound crazy, but this has always irked me. Don’t try to make your product sound reasonably priced by putting the word ‘only’ or ‘just’ in front of the cost. Brand new streaming pile of horse shit, ONLY 9.99! or Bag of broken glass and cigarette butts, JUST 14.99!

Just come right out and tell me the fucking price. Don’t play games with me or treat me like I’m stupid. I know the relative value of things and what im willing to pay for something. If it’s a good deal I’ll buy it, otherwise I won’t. Stop using buzzwords to try and make a ridiculous price sound reasonable because it’s not working.

Unpopular opinion #4 The way Americans talk about “The Founding Fathers” as if they’re some sacred Gods who had it all figured out 200 years ago is very weird and cringey by u/Stimlak

I get that they are historically important, but some people think these guys from 200 years ago were incredible at predicting the future. As a non American, this always seems weird to me.

Unpopular opinion #5 Women should be allowed to take a sick day on the first day of their period every month, if they need to, without consequences by u/lemonpaloma

If you’re having horrible cramps, bloating, exhaustion, significant bleeding, etc., you shouldn’t be forced to put on a brave face and go to work if you don’t feel well enough. Many workplaces are male dominated or ruled by men and they obviously don’t understand and can’t relate to the hardships women face every month. It shouldn’t be taboo or embarrassing and it doesn’t make you any less competent or capable if you need a break when your body is revolting against you.

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: snatti89

Rambling 2021 (Recording)

I talk about BLM and a couple other rambly things. 

12 minute listen. Adjust your volume and use Earphones 😉

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: FreeMech

Grey Rock Method.

When you speak poison, frothing at the mouth, dripping down your chin

I choose not to indulge; I’ve always got better things to do

And while you form inconsequential judgments on issues you’re yet to understand

I use my time to think of lines and rhymes that make me smile.

And when your attempt to lure me into yet another one of your self-serving conflicts fails

I smile, from within — not at your failed attempts — that ship has already sailed;

Your failure is re-current, old news, guaranteed.

I smile, because despite your unwarranted noise, I finally found that rhyme.

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: oCeyx

Critical-thinking is such an under-valued skill ladies and gentlemen. I’ve lost count of how many times people vent to me, then call my name in an accusatory manner simply because I’m not saying anything or re-enforcing yet another one of their “all important” issues.

It’s hard, telling people, in a nice way, that I have far more pressing issues to attend to. And that their new issue, which in their view is world ending, is far from being my top priority.

Usually, they proceed to say, “Tell me what’s bothering you then?” or “Why not just tell me if you’re not listening”. I’ve had many opportunities to follow up on this request in the past, never ends well. 

In both cases, the approach is more a challenge than anything.

“Tell me what’s bothering you then?” : That’s not how it works, your lack of boundaries does not directly correlate to me. If your personal matters are as open to exploring as a night worker consider remembering we’re not all in the same bracket. 

“Why not just tell me when you’re not listening?” :  Do you understand the number of distractions people face day to day? moment to moment? This request is irrational. Even the most avid listeners will have a stray thought here and there. This question strikes me as a guilt tripping ploy. You want someone to feel bad about not listening. A better question to ask would be “Is what I’m saying important to you right now?”

Answer? “No” and not because I’m an a**hole (not entirely) but because it’s true for most people. Your issue, no matter how severe, will probably affect me momentarily but I wont lie and tell you that i’ll lose sleep over it. Call me evil but at least I’m not lying.

Someone with critical thinking would realize they are venting and giving nothing of value. Just noise. Me not listening to a vent session is not a crime that warrants accusatory questioning. Finish venting, and if its done, it’s done. An apology for blind-siding someone with a vent session is always a nice touch. It shows a willingness to be accountable for your actions.

This is one of the many reasons I stay alone. I quickly pick up on the minutiae. inconsistencies, attempts to manipulate, vampirism and a crippling low self-esteem. I don’t have a problem with the last one provided someone owns up to it. Don’t make thinking of yourself as a loser my fault or my problem.

Forgive me God, but some of your people suck serious a**.  

And I know I suck too ,that’s why I’m adamant not to subjugate anyone (but myself) to my own bullsh*t. 

Side note and ender: When I share these snippets, I hope you never see me as the victim, because I’m not. Fishing for sympathy and having charisma is how you start a damn cult.

 

A Not-So-Thorough Look At 2020.

I hear many people say 2020 sucked, I don’t deny their experience. But If I were given a platform to offer my opinion I’d say 2020 turned out to be one of the best years I’ve had in a while. And not because I got something of material value or that I wasn’t affected by the pandemic. It was a good year (for me) because I got jet fuelled into learning so many things in such a short amount of time.  Also helps that I’m an individualistic introvert.

Lock down was great. I already don’t like hanging out with people because I’m an anti-social “weirdo”; lockdown simply offered me a great excuse not to meet anyone outside a blunt “I don’t feel like it”. Furthermore, being in your house alone for three months tends to give serious clarity. Depending on how you decide to spend your time. 

By the time the clock hit midnight on December 31st my phone was already off because that’s usually the time people who have no reason contacting me try contacting me. Like we’re automatically buddies or something. No, I don’t hold onto grudges — I simply deny ill-intenders a reset. There is no situation where I’ll get so excited I forget that my boundaries were crossed. I will forgive, but never forget. And I realize as a former Christian this goes against a core tenet of that belief.  I just think forgetting means foregoing the lesson I would have learnt — not doing that. 

My New Year was 5 hours earlier than most. So to those  that looked to use New Year festivities as an excuse to rekindle ashes; forgive me for not hot boxing my dopamine for 5 whole hours till your clock caught up.

If you know me well, you know what I think of birthdays and New Years. My methods are by no means the standard I want anyone else to adhere to; they just work for me. I encourage people to do what works for them, and not impose their traditions on others.

Oh, by the way. Check this out:

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These are drafts I had planned to release before the 2020 ended but kept re-drafting. Some of them I even  deleted.

 

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I was particularly excited about the DOOM and depression post. If all works out and my research goes well, the post will explore how the game DOOM helped me overcome depression; primarily through it’s music. That’s the long and short of it. As I write this I’m wondering if it’s even worth writing that post since I just broke it all down into one sentence. But I suppose getting deeper into the “why” would be nice. 

Consider this one … is a note to self, jumbled up ideas for different potential posts. Might just delete this; everything in there has been exhausted but it was a good little space for me to save ideas.

 

Thoughts Like A Theme Park (Part 4) continuation of my first ever spoken word series. You can check out the other parts here. I initially wanted to post it in August but plans changed. I will deliver it soon.

 

The Dark Side to Authenticity. I look at how being real/your authentic self can bring many unforeseen dangers (Might as well be a magnet for narcissists and manipulative idiots for starters). I’ve done my best to understand why many people pretend to be who they are not. I don’t agree with their methods, but I’m slowly starting to understand why some people do that. One of the biggest cases I’ve seen is trauma. But more on that when I do more research yeah?

I hope you spent your New Year celebrations doing what you love. 

 

– O.D. ©2021

Loveless Nights And Foaming Rims.

The unnamed guy series 1

Here is the unnamed guy series part 2, spiritual successor to the unnamed girl series; which is already complete, you can check it out here. I’m curious to see where this story goes from here. You’re in, yeah?

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The cost of being real. No one ever explicitly says it.

You lose everything — you start to question yourself often

Questioning whether you ever truly had anything.

Passing me compliments? Please,

Send those through an indefinite quarantine process

Not everyone means what they say.

And you’d be a fool to think otherwise.

I’m not the hero, nor am I the villain

But I wish I was. That way I could have a role to fill,

To be subservient to the idea of purpose —

Maybe then everything would be a little easier

Seeing everything in black and white like designing a zebra.

But that’s wishful thinking

Once you see much of what this world has

It’s hard to go back. I find love at the bottom of a bottle

The circle that touches the coaster embodies the closest I’ll get to a ring

I don’t mean to get esoteric, but blame that on the formation of language

Never would I spoon feed my struggles solely for your entertainment.

Reality is a fabric I’ve since threaded with my own visions

Took time, but I finally have a picture of God behind my eye lids

They’d call that blasphemy but that’s precisely why I’m not in a church

Look at them, open-minded when the pastor is behind the pulpit,

But as dull as a brick as soon as anyone else speaks.

Double standards like incels and toxic feminists.

I stand at the border of what you have yet to understand

I say this politely but, no matter how tempting, “don’t push me”

Yes, I would fall, but you would be the one to die

Loveless nights, sure — but no one ever said freedom comes free

Fall in love and have a mansion full of kids in peace

And while you’re at it. Speak nothing of me.

I don’t owe anyone but the creator my time.

People threaten to leave like I can’t live without them

You would have had better luck when I was nothing but an infant

I spin my words and meanings into a reality I deem fit

Keeping madness at bay as best I can.

Tomorrow is another day — Another day I get to choose

Another day I get to choose whether I want to go through all of this again or not.

So, until then… ….

…. …. ….

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: StephanePellennec

 

A Series Of Unpopular Opinions (5)

A series of unpopular opinions. Share a thought, no matter how crazy or critique the ones other people have chosen to share. The point is to have fun provided we all keep an open mind and respect each others views. Healthy debates are welcome, extended discussions even more so.

<< Held every Friday >>

 

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I shared five unpopular opinions in the last post. Thank you to those that participated.

 

Unpopular opinion #1 by Ramone

“I have a sort of unpopular opinion depending if you are spiritual or not.
I always hated the concept that we as humans came here with some purpose but just forgot. That is like a man running into a burning house to save a person, but as soon as he enters he forgets why he entered. then the door is shut and locked. so he and the person are stuck in the burning house and both are confused and suffering”

 

Response(s):

Raw Earth Ink  “I tend to agree with Ramone and I don’t subscribe to that belief. For me, it makes no sense at all. It doesn’t take much to look around and the world and the Cosmos to see there is a Designer. It’s not random. I believe deep down we all KNOW why we are here (in a way) but sometimes we just don’t want to admit it”

 

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Unpopular opinion #2Porn is a good thing” by u/Amir-Iran

 

Response(s):

Ramone “I stumbled across porn at too early of a age (before 11). It’s been part of my life since. I don’t think it is about needing sex. I think it is about relief and habit. There are so many men and women who look at porn who are married or dating. To me, porn is like the news: it’s pure entertainment meant to get you off for a short period before moving on. In that sense, porn can be anything that stimulates. Nudity isn’t needed”

 

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Unpopular opinion #3 “Microwaved leftover pizza is 1000x better than fresh pizza”

by u/salted_rock

 

Response(s):

Raw Earth Ink  “I don’t think I have ever had microwave pizza, as I haven’t ever had a microwave. Whenever I had moved in somewhere there is one, I unplug it and put it in the closet. Therefore… well, I just can’t speak to whether it’s tasty or not. I will agree that COLD pizza the following day is good!” 😁

 

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Unpopular opinion #5 “It shouldn’t be seen as disrespectful to wear a hat indoors”

by u/Highlight_Smooth

 

Response(s):

Raw Earth Ink “I tend to agree with this one as well. I have never felt it was disrespectful to wear a hat. Of any kind. Especially in winter when, well at least where I live, it’s cold. Even inside. I’m not sure how or why a hat would be seen as disrespectful. For a man OR a woman. Because I’ve noticed that. It seems okay for women to leave adornment on but not a man?? This makes no sense to me. I’m off to see if I can find out where this thought came from…”

 

Thanks to Raw Earth Ink and Ramone for participating and sharing their thoughts. Without you, this series would not be possible.

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sleepless_night_by_snatti89_dc0hspp-fullview

As for today’s unpopular opinion(s). We have three, check them out:

(Note: These opinions are in no way reflective of my personal views or biases; just ones I think will spark interesting dialogue in the comment section):

 

Unpopular opinion #1 Big dicks are overrated by u/paradise1A

Big dicks are overrated, they hurt in most positions and are way too over sexualized. I have been with both guys who are packing and average sized and more times than not, average sized guys are better since they have to compensate for not have a big dick, where a bigger dick automatically thinks he’s good in bed cause the size of his penis. Over all I think average dicks are better than big dicks.

 

Unpopular opinion #2 Small kids should never be allowed to have pets by u/Hickmastafunk

I’ve seen countless stories about smaller animals being abused and not taken care of, and as a person who owns a few guinea pigs, it’s quite disturbing. These animals have feelings too.

People of all ages can be abusive to these animals, I know. But Children seem to do this the most. This usually is NOT their fault, as they either do not understand how to take care of them properly. I believe that a child should have to take some type of test or prove to the person selling these animals that they can take care of them.

It seems absurd, I know. But these are still animals. They can still feel emotion.

I don’t think that this should apply to all animals, however. As some “pets” can be used as food for others. A great example would be buying mice and feeding them to snakes. I only believe the larger of the small pets group should fall under what I believe.

I also don’t know if certain laws are put into place for this. I am an American, after all. I don’t even know if there are laws in other states that have this.

 

Unpopular opinion #3 “Be yourself” is terrible advice by u/perspicaciousguy

Whenever someone asks for advice about how they should act or what direction to go in life a common response is to just tell them to “be yourself” and things will fall into place.

This is extremely unhelpful to the person asking for advice. The reason they are asking is probably because they don’t know themselves. You can choose to do anything you want with life, simply “being yourself” doesn’t mean jack squat.

Much better advice in my opinion is to “be who you want to be”. Take a look at the people in your life, role models, people who you admire. Take the qualities from those people that you like and make them your qualities, ditch the ones you don’t like.

No one in the world is truly “themself”. At the end of the day were all just playing a big game of monkey see monkey do. But we do have the power to choose who we want to be – I think telling people to be themselves just makes them complacent in becoming the people they surround themselves with rather than actually becoming the person they would truly want to be.

 
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Canvas For Welling Tears.

I finished The unnamed girl series roughly a month ago, and it was received better than I expected. For those that don’t know, it’s a six-part anthology expressed through the lenses of a character going through (to avoid spoilers I’ll say) “many things” that are open to interpretation. You can check it out here if you wish to read it; links to all parts are within the post.

The past few days I’ve been reflecting over something else. The Unnamed Guy Series, I never planned on it but it felt like a missed opportunity in retrospect. I obviously don’t want the characters to mirror each other, but I feel I’ve done enough character building to piece this one together. This might be a once-off, let me know what you think and if you’d like to see more of it in the future.

18+  Sexual Themes, Language, Suicide.

 

I don’t talk about my failures.

Not all of them. Can you guess why?

You know why. Because failures are for losers.

It feels good not to think of them;

Don’t give me that look. I don’t want to feel weak.

Nor would you.

 

I hate myself, yet I scream “I love you”

— On the inside —

Hoping saying it enough times will make it true.

A running gag really— I won’t deny it,

Unless you say it in front of my mates.

 

“Also, also, if I may add — you latch onto hurt like an entitled child”

Who the fuck are you?

 

“What? You think anyone would stick around for you?

The REAL you? The best untold joke”

 

Hey, no-one leaves me, I leave them

Looking back. None of them were worth my time anyway.

 

“Sure buddy, Listen — you choose poorly because deep down,

You know, that’s exactly what you’re worth — You say you don’t need anyone

Because it will make living with yourself a whole lot easier”

 

You don’t get to tell that to me unless I do.

When it comes from anyone else, no matter how true

To me, it holds literally no value. 

 

“Loving you is your biggest complication

You wall off — it’s what you’re good at

When people get too close, you push them away

Because it’s getting too real — it terrifies you,

Losing your power.

You want control”

 

And what’s so wrong about that?

You say it like I’m supposed to give it all away.

 

“You’re a good bullshit detector

Because you’re a naturally gifted bull-shitter

I’d tell you to slit your wrists, but knowing you,

It’d be a miracle if you even manage to do that properly.

Remember that night, when you were called a ‘disgrace’?”

 

Would saying “yes” stop you from bothering me?

 

“Don’t interrupt me,

I can rightfully confirm you’re exactly that

But don’t worry — as if you ever do —

You weren’t taught any better,

It’s all about getting the girl and giving her a hard fuck, right?

I know how nice it is, to have an excuse to fall back to

When you don’t act right”

 

That doesn’t sound anything like me!

“Of course! But you sure as hell wish it could be!”

How can I or anyone like me be any better when you only speak of the ugly!?

“Because that’s all there is to fuckin’ see!”

 

You know this world does not reward being real!

Only the best idea of it! So what if I face a hiccup?

I fall and I stand up again! That’s how it works!

I own up and make something out of it!

 

“Hah! Your little tantrum means shit!

You’re nothing! Your worth is in what you have.

Celebrate ‘this’ because that’s as good as it will ever get

-For you. 

Natural selection baby! Life will continue to bend you over

And give you a hard one from behind

And you will learn to like it, maybe even enjoy it — talk about it? No.

Who wants to hear about your limitless failures,

What kind of man are you anyway?”

 

You’re wrong! There’s more to being a man than that!

I’m allowed to have feelings, to be vulne –

 

“Fucking sensitive, god! Have a little grit!

THIS is why people leave. You’re not a pillar.

Talk to me when you learn how to wear pants in relationships alright?

Till then, get under your covers — tug and pull

And when you eventually leave your shell and don’t get loved back?

Make like an incel and blame everyone around you, except you.

Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone”

 

You’ve said a lot. I’ll be completely honest about one thing.

You’re the voice I dream of killing.

 

“I’m you, so you know exactly what that means”

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by:  StephanePellennec