Nothing gets to me more than feeling like my individuality is at risk. I am not of the notion that “imitation is the best form of flattery”. Personally, I find it really annoying. Please let me know your thoughts on the matter. Am I the only one who feels this way?
I am going through so many changes in my life, I feel like I have stopped talking to a large fraction of people I used to on a daily. When I was younger, my aunt told me not to be surprised when I suddenly drift apart with friends or even family members as I grow; I thought that would never happen to me. However, looking at where I stand now, I am inclined to agree with her. Note that this has nothing to do with friends or family pushing my buttons (not entirely anyway) but conflicting values.
Perhaps when I was young and unemployed with little to no responsibility I could bear the brunt of one of my friends being unnecessarily competitive. I could stomach a family member trying to tell me the best path to life because I was too afraid to take the reins and fail. I could spend an entire afternoon in an inconsequential debate guided by the need to win rather than actually being progressive, but everything has changed now. I do not have the time to be that carefree with my approach to life anymore. It was a choice to let go of those values that (personally) gave me nothing and instead focus on values that bring the best out of me.
Not everyone welcomes change when it occurs, or when you are trying to work on yourself to become better. Because at times that means you are willing to forego activities and personality traits that may have made you close to certain people to begin with. But when all is said and done, self-betterment is not about making sure everyone else is okay with it (goes without saying that any form of self-betterment should not come at the risk of putting other peoples lives in danger).
I just find it a little odd that at this stage in my life I still have to contend with a family/friend telling me they have a grand revenge strategy in mind to get back at someone who hurt them. And as soon as they hurt whoever it is, they go ahead and say that its the persons’ fault for starting it. And yes, it may be their fault, but is perpetuating the situation truly the solution? It’s these conflicting values that push me away. I don’t mean to sound elitist but if these values work for you that’s great, but for me, no.
Instead of hurting peoples’ feelings and calling them out, I distance myself. Having gone through similar situations in the past I know how hostile some people can become when you tell them that they are lying or being hypocritical e.t.c. Yes, I know no-one is perfect, but that does not mean I have to put up with toxicity or leeching because you are a long time friend or even family.
3 minutes 60 seconds (adjust your volume before listening, just in case 🙂 )
I liken this image to the first time I entered the realm of poetry (5 years ago). Anxious, excited, free; all at the same time. I was not sure how everything was going to go, but I knew I wanted to do it anyway.
What drives people to achieve what they want
With their experiences and underlying values.
What drove me to be a poet
Was inability to express that which made
My ribcage feel like it was housing heat
From a thousand burning coals.
Painful. Wanting to say something.
Anything. In any way,
Not finding the right words to say.
Whether it be limited vocabulary, insecurity,
Not knowing which way it will all turn out;
It is the repressing of emotions,
That truly muddles your sanity.
I vowed to be the best poet that only I could be
To cherish my own style and appreciate those of others