Number of people extremely excited about this: 1 (Me)
Decided to return to it with a bang. This time I addressed the whole manipulator issue in a recording (you may notice a small difference with my previous recordings 😉 ).
I briefly talk about the various types of manipulators I have come across in my life.
Art by: AppleSin
12 minutes.
Manipulators I mentioned in the recording:
*The Scorekeeper – “I helped you that other time, so you have to help me now”
*The Fearmonger – “Do what I say, or I will make your life a living hell”
*Triangulators  – “It’s us against the world. There’s no one but me you can trust” (This and Fearmonger really get to me)
*Gaslighter     – “You don’t remember saying those words because you’re not the one who got hurt. But I remember you saying them, so it’s true”
*Ultimatums   – “Honestly, the only way I see you having fun this weekend is if you come to my party. You know you’ll be bored at home”
That’s the title I gave the poem I was supposed to post today, reasons as to why I didn’t end up doing so are outlined in the recording. Also, just a small update.
I used one of my headsets to record the audio and the volume may be a bit low for others; I recommend using earphones 🙂 . Next time I’ll try and use my phone’s mic instead.
4 minutesÂ
Depending on the mood I might just write something right now.
I am going through so many changes in my life, I feel like I have stopped talking to a large fraction of people I used to on a daily. When I was younger, my aunt told me not to be surprised when I suddenly drift apart with friends or even family members as I grow; I thought that would never happen to me. However, looking at where I stand now, I am inclined to agree with her. Note that this has nothing to do with friends or family pushing my buttons (not entirely anyway) but conflicting values.
Perhaps when I was young and unemployed with little to no responsibility I could bear the brunt of one of my friends being unnecessarily competitive. I could stomach a family member trying to tell me the best path to life because I was too afraid to take the reins and fail. I could spend an entire afternoon in an inconsequential debate guided by the need to win rather than actually being progressive, but everything has changed now. I do not have the time to be that carefree with my approach to life anymore. It was a choice to let go of those values that (personally) gave me nothing and instead focus on values that bring the best out of me.
Not everyone welcomes change when it occurs, or when you are trying to work on yourself to become better. Because at times that means you are willing to forego activities and personality traits that may have made you close to certain people to begin with. But when all is said and done, self-betterment is not about making sure everyone else is okay with it (goes without saying that any form of self-betterment should not come at the risk of putting other peoples lives in danger).
I just find it a little odd that at this stage in my life I still have to contend with a family/friend telling me they have a grand revenge strategy in mind to get back at someone who hurt them. And as soon as they hurt whoever it is, they go ahead and say that its the persons’ fault for starting it. And yes, it may be their fault, but is perpetuating the situation truly the solution? It’s these conflicting values that push me away. I don’t mean to sound elitist but if these values work for you that’s great, but for me, no.
Instead of hurting peoples’ feelings and calling them out, I distance myself. Having gone through similar situations in the past I know how hostile some people can become when you tell them that they are lying or being hypocritical e.t.c. Yes, I know no-one is perfect, but that does not mean I have to put up with toxicity or leeching because you are a long time friend or even family.
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3 minutes 60 seconds (adjust your volume before listening, just in case 🙂 )
I was pacing as I recorded this 🙂 there’s some audio friction here and there but it adds to the authenticity, at least that’s how I rationalized it in my head 😀
I welcome this evolution of my blog, I hope you do too.
This is the second poem I have voiced on my blog, I’m planning to make this a thing (even added a “voiced” tab on my blog’s menu). I feel like if my readers can hear how I read my poetry, they can better understand my delivery. Hope you enjoy 🙂
