TLDR? It’s a complete waste of my time and energy. Thanks for reading.
Humble (adjective) – having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.
Overt (adjective) – done or shown openly; plainly or readily apparent, not secret or hidden.
Because it’s garbage. Complete and utter garbage.
Listen, the only reason I would ever overtly show humility is to accommodate others. In a business sense, it’s likely to improve brand image, network with rivals or increase my following.
I believe humility is important. But I don’t need to undress to show it. I don’t need people to believe I’m humble so I feel comfortable with my brand of humility.
“But O.D. , where is this coming from all of a sudden?”
I’ve noticed it in my conversations, forums and comment sections. People say. “I like him/her, they’re so humble”
Really powerful unit of measurement there. Real game-changing metrics. Humility is obviously the signifier of all signifiers when it comes to understanding just how “good” someone is. It’s not like people can fake it or use it as a tool to pacify their audience — increasing suggestibility in an attempt to influence decision-making. No, everyone who’s humble definitely means it. It’s the kind of world we live in after all.
I’m allergic to being overtly humble for a number of reasons:
1) Humility was often used as a weapon against me in friendships and family. “We know you’re a good writer, but you come off as arrogant; why not be more humble?” — Not by everyone, but by enough people with similar patterns of behaviour. Tell me geniuses, who exactly am I being humble for here? My audience? Whoever is saying this? Because the answer stays the same.
This bunch would rather I dumb myself down for whatever reason. Not to mention, they wanted me to be humble based on their own estimation of what it means to be humble. Christ– but why stop there, please tell me how to pay my rent while you’re at it.
Family-oriented individuals might say, “Don’t be so harsh, maybe they’re looking out for you”. From what exactly? From being judged? There is literally no escaping that.
Giving me advice to increase engagement on my platform? Really, all these people with no experience running a blog suddenly gained insight into how I should run my platform. That’s awfully convenient.
Trying to stop me from pulling off an Icarus flying towards the sun situation? You either don’t know me as well as you think you do or you believe you’re the first ever person to understand the meaning of that story. If you have either of those answers you’d know you’re parsing something basic.
In all seriousness, get out of my face with that nonsense.
2) Let’s not confuse insecurity with humility. If you earn an opportunity to do something — let’s say — give a speech. And then you forfeit because “It would be impolite to outdo your boss”, that’s not humility. You’re just forfeiting. Especially if no one told you to forfeit.
Hell, maybe this boss is amazing. And you respect them a lot. Doesn’t change that you’re still forfeiting. Because if they (the boss) are really as amazing as you say, they’d have no problem with you shining on stage. Think about that for a second.
3) Humility, to show respect for the elderly. Again, no. Until my teens, I endured insufferable, outdated and unearned cultural hierarchies that were run on the whims of emotionally dysregulated adults looking to snuff out any fire they considered intimidating. Having to settle for reasoning such as “Because I’ve lived longer” and “Because I said so” showed me ways in which enforced humility in the youth is synonymous with subjugation.
Wanna know what I can be? Polite. And that can be viewed as another form of humility. But being polite considers things such as manners and behaving in consideration of others. On the off-chance that I visit someone’s house, I will do as the Romans do.
— But I don’t get out often, so …
4) Humility for an agreeableness uptick. You’re joking, right?
“So what you’re essentially saying is you choose to be arrogant instead?”
If you’re reading this, I hope you didn’t make this extremely lazy pivot when the title clearly says Why I Refuse To Be ‘OVERTLY‘ humble… Overtly.
Nowhere did I say humility is not useful. My humility is intrinsically motivated. Tied heavily to a reward system that rejuvenates my spirit and inner joy.
I simply choose to be humble at my own pace, at my own time — not during the preferred lunar cycle of others.
– O.D. ©2022
Art by: vurdeM
4 Replies to “Why I Refuse To Be Overtly Humble.”
Get out of my head!! Haha, no but seriously, you nailed it. I’ve experienced all three of your points to some degree or another. At this stage of my life, I’m (mostly) over it. I am who I am. “Humble” in the eyes of some, “arrogant” to others, “insolent” to the viewpoint of many, and “intelligent” to some. Doesn’t matter, really, in the long run, does it? They’re all labels, partially true but not the definition of who I am. (Now you’ve kick-started my own rant LOL!) Great post, OD. It needed to be said.
That’s the thing isn’t it? People placing labels that are partially true but they run with it like it’s the absolute truth. I recently had a conversation with someone who said I’m sweet, but I pretend to be tough (referring to my blog) because I don’t have the guts.
Lol I told them my personality exists on a spectrum. I am not sweet only, or rational only. My entire person is determined on context. So because they haven’t seen me be so critical, and have had no reason to be towards them —in their eyes — it’s fake lol
Some part of me wishes there was an interpersonal relationships class taught as early as kindergarten but that just screams authoritarian (1984 style)
Tolerating nonsense is part of being human. So is enduring delusional egos.
Oh no, we’re doing a RANTception LOL!
Part of the problem lies in each person perspective and perception of you. They only see bits and pieces. So they take those parts and fit them into nicely labeled boxes.
Indeed, all our personalities (at least in my experience) are on a spectrum. Like you, I’m mostly rational but have bouts of irrationality. There are times I’m a bitch and times I sacrifice it all.
Somehow it’s easy to forget that we all, each and every one, experience highs and lows, good moments and bad moments and mysterious moments, sometimes we just wake up grumpy, some days are more tolerant or completely irrational, some days we overflow with charity or cling to ourselves miserly. So, yeah, maybe the label fits in that very moment… but it doesn’t ultimately define us.
Worded masterfully Spirit Twin ✨