To Kill A Svengali (Final)

(1) To Lure A Svengali

(2) To Snare A Svengali

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You’d have me believe that life is a race

Governed by the likes of your kind

If only you looked closer at the tartan track, you’d notice,

That I’m not only a participant in this “race” —

I’m the gun-wielding starter —

— The roaring crowd — the checkered flag waver.

It surprises no one, but you — pay attention —

— I am the whole stadium.

You’re a bystander — a potential witness — to how I’m highly favoured,

Drop the Svengali act and step aside —

I’m doing you a favour because you’re not even good at that.

Self-knowledge dictates I start and run my own races

Notice the scoreboard as I fill every vacant placement.

Such is the greatness of tempering incessant anguish.

No one is better at being me more than I’ll ever be;

As such, I work to outdo myself at every single opportunity.

The gems I excavate on my worst days have more weight.

In pursuit of depth, they touch base with the Earth’s core

With a fluency that dwarfs what you’d parse to me as amazing.

Should be a borderline crime, enduring such levels of basic,

Especially at the cost of my patience.

Listen, I have love for humanity,

I have love for who we are

Who we could be — our flaws and all — but —

I have no love for you. I’ve searched, but I have none to spare.

Specifically for you and those like you.

Because no well-meaning human carries themselves

The way that you do. 

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: ArthurHenri

False Self.

It only takes one moment.

One moment, for the mask feigning compassion to fall

Then you’ll know;

Oh, you’ll know

That narcissists aren’t human.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: ArthurHenri

Sickle Over A Full Moon.

Tell me, what god do you pray to?

Tell me their name. What god allows you to believe

— That you’re above the unrealistic expectations you set for others?

What god convinces you murder in their name is justified?

Reflect on my series of rhetorical questions.

Amend your statement:

You meant the devil

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: Rashedjrs

Deft Egress.

Choose to behave like a problem;

Expect to be treated like one.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: ArthurHenri

To Snare A Svengali.

I’m not saying stop trying to manipulate me.

No, convincing you otherwise is a lost cause.

I’m saying, if you’re going to manipulate

At least be good at it.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: ArthurHenri

To Lure A Svengali.

There’s only one person better than me

And that’s the me I’m yet to be.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: ArthurHenri

The Purple Odyssey.

I’ve been working on my cocktail of emotions and chemical imbalances

I’ve been working on feeling less subsumed into you

Wondering whether I’m justified in thinking of you the way that I do

— Whether I’ve done enough soul-searching to validate this love trip.

Excuses — Truth is, I believe I could love you in ways outside the knowable

Applying novelty to the core of our theoretical relationship

Turning it into known reality with the proficiency of a fluent newscaster;

Converting doubters to believers like prosperity pastors and preachers.

I don’t just like, I put skin in the game and love deeply.

Enough to touch the sea floor and then more, unearthing hidden gems

Cut and polish them till they give an intergalactic glare

Even after all that I’d go ahead and throw them away,

Simple, because no matter the appraisal

They’d never be good enough.

The things I would do for you leave me terrified;

I’m the type to write — and write — and write about you

Slide pieces your way like the Queen’s Gambit

Till I have no recollection which version of the two is you.

My mind tells me to stop — Stop, young lion

So much for that ephemeral high, it was good while it lasted;

Insight reins in my heart how a shepherd would their sheep.

I work better when distractions are not central to my reality.

In the face of human suffering, the world has many illusory antidotes.

To maintain my sanity, I refuse to make you one of them.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: Pegaite

 

Why I Refuse To Be Overtly Humble.

TLDR? It’s a complete waste of my time and energy. Thanks for reading.

*****

Humble (adjective) – having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.

Overt (adjective) – done or shown openly; plainly or readily apparent, not secret or hidden.

*****

Rant incoming.

Because it’s garbage. Complete and utter garbage.

Listen, the only reason I would ever overtly show humility is to accommodate others. In a business sense, it’s likely to improve brand image, network with rivals or increase my following.

I believe humility is important. But I don’t need to undress to show it. I don’t need people to believe I’m humble so I feel comfortable with my brand of humility.

“But O.D. , where is this coming from all of a sudden?”

I’ve noticed it in my conversations, forums and comment sections. People say. “I like him/her, they’re so humble”

Really powerful unit of measurement there. Real game-changing metrics. Humility is obviously the signifier of all signifiers when it comes to understanding just how “good” someone is. It’s not like people can fake it or use it as a tool to pacify their audience — increasing suggestibility in an attempt to influence decision-making. No, everyone who’s humble definitely means it. It’s the kind of world we live in after all.

I’m allergic to being overtly humble for a number of reasons:

1) Humility was often used as a weapon against me in friendships and family. “We know you’re a good writer, but you come off as arrogant; why not be more humble?” — Not by everyone, but by enough people with similar patterns of behaviour. Tell me geniuses, who exactly am I being humble for here? My audience? Whoever is saying this? Because the answer stays the same.

“No.”

This bunch would rather I dumb myself down for whatever reason. Not to mention, they wanted me to be humble based on their own estimation of what it means to be humble. Christ– but why stop there, please tell me how to pay my rent while you’re at it.

Family-oriented individuals might say, “Don’t be so harsh, maybe they’re looking out for you”. From what exactly? From being judged? There is literally no escaping that.

Giving me advice to increase engagement on my platform? Really, all these people with no experience running a blog suddenly gained insight into how I should run my platform. That’s awfully convenient.

Trying to stop me from pulling off an Icarus flying towards the sun situation? You either don’t know me as well as you think you do or you believe you’re the first ever person to understand the meaning of that story. If you have either of those answers you’d know you’re parsing something basic.

In all seriousness, get out of my face with that nonsense.

2) Let’s not confuse insecurity with humility. If you earn an opportunity to do something — let’s say — give a speech. And then you forfeit because “It would be impolite to outdo your boss”, that’s not humility. You’re just forfeiting. Especially if no one told you to forfeit. 

Hell, maybe this boss is amazing. And you respect them a lot. Doesn’t change that you’re still forfeiting. Because if they (the boss) are really as amazing as you say, they’d have no problem with you shining on stage. Think about that for a second.

3) Humility, to show respect for the elderly. Again, no. Until my teens, I endured insufferable, outdated and unearned cultural hierarchies that were run on the whims of emotionally dysregulated adults looking to snuff out any fire they considered intimidating. Having to settle for reasoning such as “Because I’ve lived longer” and “Because I said so” showed me ways in which enforced humility in the youth is synonymous with subjugation.

Wanna know what I can be? Polite. And that can be viewed as another form of humility. But being polite considers things such as manners and behaving in consideration of others. On the off-chance that I visit someone’s house, I will do as the Romans do.

— But I don’t get out often, so …

4) Humility for an agreeableness uptick. You’re joking, right?

*****

“So what you’re essentially saying is you choose to be arrogant instead?”

If you’re reading this, I hope you didn’t make this extremely lazy pivot when the title clearly says Why I Refuse To Be ‘OVERTLY‘ humble… Overtly. 

Nowhere did I say humility is not useful. My humility is intrinsically motivated. Tied heavily to a reward system that rejuvenates my spirit and inner joy. 

I simply choose to be humble at my own pace, at my own time — not during the preferred lunar cycle of others. 

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: vurdeM

Scorched Earth Seance.

I like to wake sleeping memories long since buried

Because I love hearing their screams again, and again.

The screams of tormentors — would-be victims clinging. 

Clinging to the assumption of ever being more than.

I like the way the ethereal dirt marinates their spirits

Buries them — Bit by bit, grain by grain,

Until the forming heap makes what we could barely see before

Nothing more, than an aggregate for a slippery road.

I promise I’m not evil. I just have a firm line.

No matter how tempting, don’t cross it.

In the past, some have often mistaken it as a means to win

Upon crossing the threshold, expressing their “victory”

They have somehow always found a way

To get tangled — strangled to death by that alluring line.

And I just watch; waiting until it’s done.

What, don’t look at me

It’s rude to interrupt a celebration.

– O.D. ©2022

Art by: ArthurHenri

I don’t go out of my way to teach anyone a lesson. No, they teach themselves.

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