If Covert Narcissists Were Honest With You.

I promise, I’ve changed

The subtitle. I know I can get a little crazy, but I promise I’ve heard you every single time you’ve said you’re hurt. It will be different this time. I promise.


I don’t know who lied to you, but you don’t have any autonomy — not when I’m around.

You can say you have a will of your own and I’ll pretend to agree, to pacify. You need to understand that I know what’s best for you — not you.

Whatever line you draw is made for me to cross. Now that I say that out loud, your line kind of looks like a finish line; you know, like in a race. You can’t blame me for doing what comes naturally.

Make lines for me to cross.

I Will Complain, Complain, Complain

And you will listen.

Good friends offer empathy in droves, and so should you. It’s why you’re my friend. You’re supposed to make me feel good about myself absent honesty and truth.

And don’t tell me your solutions, I can fix these things I’m complaining about. I just need you to listen. If what I’ve said so far hasn’t made it clear; I know better, so don’t tell me what to do.

But listen to what I have to say.

This isn’t bitterness, it’s divine vengeance.

Everyone I’m angry at and complain about is wrong. There’s not a single person I’ve ever been angry at who was in the right. That’s just how it is. It’s difficult being me, knowing all the things that I know.

My philosophy is to get revenge whilst the iron is still hot.

What I feel is real, and if someone makes me feel attacked, I will attack them back.

It’s fair.


I’m not manipulating you, I’m pushing you in the right direction.

Don’t think you know what’s best for you, come on now. As long as you stick by me, everything will be fine. I will discourage you from pursuing your dreams if they don’t include me because you won’t get far without me. 

I say that because I care; keep me close. Involve me in everything for your own safety.

I know I sometimes say mean things when you don’t involve me in what you’re doing. It’s because I’ll be feeling hurt, and I’ll be trying to make you see reason again. There’s no world without you needing me.

I’m the victim here.

I’m owed everything I never got. The world has never been fair to me. If I had all the opportunities I see others getting, I would be in a much better place. I just know it. 

In the meantime, keep encouraging me. Keep telling me how I’ll make it one day. I can’t do that myself.

You’ve had a bad day?

You can be so self-centred, do you know that? Not everything is about you. We all have bad days, but that doesn’t make you special.

Speaking of bad days…

Remember that story I told you the other day? I have an update — get ready, it’s a long one 😀

Don’t tell me the truth, not when it hurts.

I would tell you about the shame I try to keep buried, but you don’t need to know about that. Just don’t trigger me and we’ll be fine. I keep these things to myself to keep you safe. You wouldn’t be able to handle my rage and dark past.

Don’t you dare leave me.

Not unless you want to be another anecdote on a long list of people who have let me down. I’ll make sure to mention how you hurt me even though I’ve never done anything to hurt you.

Please don’t leave me 😦

I was overreacting when I said all of those things. I’m just passionate, you know that. Please don’t misinterpret my actions (Re-read the first point to know how serious I am about all of this — about you)

– O.D. ©2022

Art by:  LukasFractalizator

The message here is simple. “F*ck narcissists”

6 Replies to “If Covert Narcissists Were Honest With You.”

  1. I’m quite close to someone who is very much three of these points. It’s hard for me. I know they are what they are… but circumstances dictate I just “live with it”. How to care about a person who you -know- can be a better version of their self if only they’d drop the narcissism. But then, see point one again. It’s a vicious circle. It really is. Sometimes feels like friendship with a physical abuser. Hard to break free. Maybe even impossible.

    1. It truly is a vicious cycle. One thing I’ve learnt about these people is they never change.

      I tried, for years getting a covert narc to see how their behavior was damaging but it looked like they got some kind of gratification from it. People often refer to it as narcissistic supply.

      So I started grey-rocking. Setting clear boundaries and going no-contact. Took me two years to set things up in such a way that if they left, I wouldn’t care. I had already grieved the moment I realized I wasn’t dealing with a human anymore.

      I sincerely hope you’re safe or at the very least have a way to not be around them for extended periods of time. These people can kill souls.

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