When someone gives you pain
Don’t focus on the why —
Focus on the what.
The why is irrelevant
They did what they did. It’s done.
There is no shortage of answers
You already have what you need.
– O.D. ©2022
Art by: Vetyr
Emotional abuse often leaves victims ruminating over what they might have done wrong to the abuser. Victims are left trapped, trying to imagine all the ways they could have fixed things.
I’m here to tell you that’s not your job.
If Steven steals your candy even though you told him not to, don’t get sucked in by the why. Motivations are flimsy, moldable and easy to manipulate.
Getting to the true motivation behind Steven’s actions requires a level of trust that’ll already be missing by that point.
Look at the what; that’s empirical evidence. None can deny it.
I believe knowing the why is the cherry on the cake, not entirely necessary — but in many ways aesthetically pleasing.
The why is neatly packed closure. And we don’t always get closure — in this way, I believe closure is a luxury.
Some people have a series of behaviours that can’t be explained. And it’s not your job to try and fix them. Just leave.