Romance: Writing vs Experiencing It IRL.

Writing romance is far much better — far more fun; creative control and all. You can’t apply the same principle or logic to romance IRL without sounding like a complete nutjob. 

When you write romance, as the writer, you know what both characters (or all, in a polyamory?) are thinking. You know their flaws, you know they mean well, you know they care. No matter how the story spins, there’s an element that pivots the narrative towards things working out. Unless, you know, you’re grimdarking your characters towards a threesome with Cthulhu.

Not so IRL, is it? You just have to “hope” things work out without any of the exposition to help. Hope that the other person means well, because you mean well. Nothing tells you that guy/gal is a serial dater looking to get a high.

There’s no particular reason for me writing this post. Just sharing more shower thoughts and taking a moment to dunk fecal matter on romance but… let’s not get into that.

Have I ever told you that I’ve never been rejected (romantically)?

Gee, how I wish I was making a hard flex to impress complete strangers on the internet, but there’s a reason I’m sharing this. I’ve never been rejected because I’ve never approached anyone I was interested in. My previous romances all kinda just… happened.

Now, what did I learn from this revelation? I learnt that I’m far much lazier than I thought. All I’ve ever done in my life is have someone approach me and let me peruse their CV. Running a quick cost-benefit analysis of falling-into-the-“love” with them.

Someone said I’ve never pursued because I’m afraid of rejection. Gee, I would say that too if I had an L on my record.

Regardless, it’s too late to find out now. I’ve been on a hot streak, and now the stakes are far too high lol I know I sound like a complete a** here but that’s what often comes with sharing the truth isn’t it? Being judged.

Judge away, call it humble bragging, and maybe one day you’ll start a blog and share something remotely daring. That’s if you ever get past the desire to pander. *whisper* not many people ever do.

I’ve also never lost a fight. Because I stopped in High school — whilst I was still ahead. Also I was afraid of losing teeth.

I’ve also never died — I hear that happens to a lot of people. I don’t know how it feels, but I’ll let you know when it does.

I wanna share a secret with you.

IF I ever get married (Big IF) when it’s time for vows, I want my wife-to-be to start so that when it’s my turn I can lyrically fry her vows to oblivion. I want to write vows so deep, hers will sound like an imitation of my original works. If anyone in the crowd had given up pursuing their dream as a publisher, I want my vows to re-awaken their desire to publish peoples’ work. So that they publish mine.

Now I hear people say outperforming your bride is completely unnecessary and immature. And I disagree. You have to remember,  the theoretical wedding is the the closest i’ll ever get to a live crowd for my Spoken Word; and I’m not about to let such an opportunity pass me by. The wife-to-be just has to take one for the team. She also has to accept that I did not fake our entire relationship to get this opportunity. I mean, what kind of monster would do that, right? 😉

*ahem*

This post has very little to do with the title. But I just wanted to pour some of my crazy on the page. And now that I have, I’m gonna make like Batman and leave before Commissioner Gordon finishes his senten —

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: PascalCampion