“Writers Are Weird”

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think people who say we’re “weird” are trying to flirt with us.

To not be as samey as everyone else in the world is a rare treat. To be called weird means you can’t out rightly be placed anywhere — you’re sort of an unknown element. The outlier to society’s isolated (and often individually funded) taxonomies. 

I like to believe everyone is weird in their own way, but there’s a particular breed of weirdness that comes with being a writer. In the interest of precision, I’m going to focus on my own weirdness as a writer.

Let me know if you share some of these traits or if you have your own batch of weirdness unknown to the world.

 

Colorful search history

You expect to find porn or some other shady sites in my browser history but let me tell you… there is only death and destruction of the senses waiting for anyone who goes looking.

I’ve searched for weird combinations of things — which, taken out of context would leave anyone who considers themselves level-headed engrained with a seed of insanity.

I’m not a murderer — but I definitely need to know which poison kills the slowest if ingested over the course of a few months *ahem*

Seriously, if something happens to me, just burn my PC. The world is already f*cked.

 

Difficult to offend/Too open minded

I’ve characterized most types, even the kind of people I would never wish to meet in real life. People suck, that’s a fundamental truth, but amidst the suckage there is value in having people from all walks of life participate in our reality.

If everyone was perfect I imagine life would suck even more. The diversity of character, good and bad, adds to the experience. 

I often commodify experiences, particularly the bad ones, to add to my creative ideas. Coping mechanism? Maybe.

Fact still stands, I find inspiration in the weirdest of places; some I’m even hesitant to share lol

 

Devil’s advocate-y

I have a hard time accepting one side of the story. Some part of me always wants to hear what the supposed “bad guy” had to say. 

After-all, no-one ever thinks they’re the bad guy. Most people think they are justified in what they do. The heroes of their own stories e.t.c.

Try and play devil’s advocate for hitler in the interest of maintaining intellectual integrity and see how quickly you make friends in our politically correct climate lol

It’s not that we (as writers) support the bad-guys. We just want the whole picture.

 

Esoteric bullsh*t

From music selection to our choice in hobbies. I’m the type to bring in my thoughts on the iambic pentameter and the ecliptic at a bar. To be fair, it’s not that I expect anyone to contribute anything meaningful given the environment. I’ll mostly be thinking out loud. I have a habit of zoning out when people tell me things I already know.

And before I forget …

 

Speaking to ourselves

Don’t be freaked out, It’s in our nature. We’re bouncing a bunch of ideas.

Sometimes we’re trying to iron out a scene in our dialogue by playing both parts. 

I mean we’re probably possessed by demons but hey — there’s no need to go around spreading that kind of interesting information lol

 

Manuscript, manuscript, manuscript

If we have a book we’re writing. You’ll hear about it. A LOT. 

It’s like our baby. Try not to think we’re showing off — if we’re sharing ideas with you it means we trust you enough to do that.

 

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What are your weird habits as a writer? Would love to hear about them.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: guillembe

Ethnocentrism And Other Stupid Things.

I talk about racism a lot. However, in recent months I’ve since slowed down on talking about things that often leave me feeling exhausted. Afterall, my mental health takes the biggest hit.

If you’re an avid reader I believe it’s in your best interest to take breaks between reading my posts. The subject matter is often uncomfortable to binge, and despite that fact, these issues need addressing.

Before I took my break, I was on a streak of unapologetically honest (often abrasive) posts. Since coming back I’ve done my best to enjoy writing for the sake of writing. It’s gone well. But true to form, I feel myself returning to that cynic in me. I seem to oscillate between being a teddy bear and being an actual bear. Entering teddy bear mode when I need a break from the world and it’s endless stream of bullsh*t. 

Consider this a potential warning, This post might go to some dark places. 

Edit: I finished writing it, It’s not as dark as I thought it would end up being. Controversial maybe, but not dark.

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gods_of_color__4_by_iamdetour_de8vb2e-fullview

As I said before, I talk about racism a lot. There is a tab on my page literally dedicated to black empowerment and all things related to being a black person. People often have a proclivity to assume when I’m talking about racism against blacks I’m automatically referencing white people. No, just racism overall.

If you’re racist you’re not safe from my ridicule. It takes a special kind of ignorance to be a racist. Believe it or not, it’s something you actually have to work hard to nurture. So yes, get offended if you’re racist, you deserve that and more.

Naturally, people often think I’m part of Black History month and the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. Because I’m black. But I’m most certainly not a fan.

The first is unbridled tokenism. The perfect tool to re-enforce an unspoken divide. If you consider Black History Month at face value you’ll think black people are getting something meaningful, I suppose that’s the intension on a commercial level; to give that impression. And if you believe I’m wrong, that’s great. I just think black history should be a part of American history and not something so isolated and condensed into a small a month lol.

To me. it just comes across as. “Here, have a month to enjoy your contributions to society. Don’t say we never gave you anything” 

But of course, this is just my personal interpretation and doesn’t need to be taken as the truth.

The second: BLM is something I have mixed feelings about. Look, I get it , a number of the injustices faced by the black community in America because of police brutality is staggering. No-one should have to go through that. But the whole movement is now diluted by crazy radicals who are quick to justify racism against whites or push a narrative of blacks being superior.

Any movement has the potential of nurturing rogue cells that misinterpret and misrepresent the initial message (similar to religion). Either through sheer stupidity, hypocrisy, entitlement or a weird blend of all three. 

See, it’s unpopular (as a black person) to call out some of these things because a part of the black community automatically assumes I’m siding with other races. That I’m devaluing the struggles that others have gone through and have fallen for the illusion of racial equality.

Not at all, there is no racial equality, and If given the choice I would always choose to be black.

Try not to take this the wrong way but IDGAF what race you’re from. I care about the human. If you make a habit of putting too much value in our “differences” you’ll enter a never-ending spiral of comparisons. And that breeds hatred and entitlement.

Now you might be wondering why I lead with such a lengthy prelude, it’s to help give context to what I’m about to say. You wouldn’t understand how I came to certain conclusions without it.

I hate racism. That’s obvious.

Despite the semantic overlap there’s one thing I hate more. Ethnocentrism.

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all_about_erikah_by_iamdetour_de8vfgk-fullview

This is going to sound like a hit piece, it’s fine if it gets interpreted that way (check out my references at the bottom in case you’re interested). I’m going to use South Africa (SA) as a case study because I’ve been there and it serves as a living diorama for pornographically entrenched racism, classism, tribalism and other likely -isms I’m too lazy to think of right now.

See, majority of black people in SA are what happens when corruption, a lack of education, entitlement and desensitization to violence meet. Yes, apartheid was terrible, but it is often used as a crutch by the majority to validate their barbaric behavior. And you might think me calling their behavior “barbaric” is pushing it, but take a look at the xenophobic attacks from 2009 – 2019, doing your best to exclude the looting taking place at this very moment.

You’ve got bigots, politicians and tribalists (hardly separable in this case) kindling sentiment against minorities/foreigners in the country which fuels more of this xenophobia. It’s a complete joke, radio silence as people are ransacked or murdered. And when those in charge eventually speak, there is a political rhetoric applied that does nothing to speak against or quell the ongoing violence. Which only emboldens the barbarians of the population to loot and kill unabated. 

The only people who benefit from these kinds of situations are those in charge of the country. They’ve got perfect scapegoats (minorities) to demonize when they need a pressure release; the same people who help keep their economy afloat, whatever’s left of it anyway.

I didn’t mean to get too political, I try and avoid that sort of thing… but it’s driving to a point.

The reason I went on a frenzy is to give evidence to those that dine with racial hypocrisy. Often times, when people are called out by people outside their own race they apply emotion and not reasoning — and because that emotion makes them feel uncomfortable, they run for the racism card. Because it’s easier to rationalize it that way instead of identifying whether there is any validity to what’s been claimed.

Well, here I am, a black person calling out other black people. I dare you to call it racism now. 

Are there people from other races that guise their malicious intent using words such as “barbarians” towards black South Africans? Yes.

But does that take away from the validity of what’s being said? No. Majority in SA are angry over the oppression they faced during apartheid — and the wounds are still present. Check out footage of SA looting during the pandemic and tell me how normal that is. 

There is an underlying self-sabotage that seems to stem from lack of knowledge on how social or economic systems work and how such actions impact the country in the long run. No country is without its imperfections — I would know, my country (if you know it) is a breeding ground for corruption and is not much to look at.

But for someone to be blood thirsty, uneducated, ethnocentric and a racial hypocrite is a bad mix.

The culprits won’t listen to reason because they know better. They won’t go legit because their opportunities were taken from them due to apartheid, they see no recovery. They won’t accept foreigners because foreigners steal the aforementioned opportunities they are not qualified to take. They won’t stop a life of crime because they need to make up for not having a job. They won’t stop xenophobic attacks because their anger needs to be channeled somewhere. And in this hotbed of unreasonables they see themselves as completely justified in everything they do.

I just hope people can learn to open their eyes and see things with more clarity and not just lean on emotion. Otherwise none of us are going anywhere.

I liken this to my extensive research on slavery. It sucks reading about that but at the same time it is very insightful. A part of me still gets hurt thinking about that history. I will never forget what happened, however, it would be unreasonable of me to put every white person I meet under that stencil. 

I’ll base my judgements on character, not skin. Because skin color is fundamentally useful for data collection and building a framework; but it doesn’t automatically make someone a good or bad person. If that sounded obvious, you’re clearly smart.

It would not be a stretch to say there are those who would argue against this. Well, to you I say “You know everything. You clearly don’t need anyone’s help”

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: iamdetour

 

References:  

Soni, P. 2014. Tribalism in South Africa compromises democracy, freedom, development and the character of the state. Arabian Journal of Business and Management Review.

Khuluve, M. 2021. Adult illiteracy in South Africa. Department of Higher Education and Learning.

Landau, L, B. 2015. Political rhetoric and institutions fuel xenophobic violence in South Africa. The Washington Post.

 

 

 

 

Star-Seed Requiem.

Silence is part of the music,

The absence of sound brings to attention

The nature and existence of permeating rhythms.

Purging what’s deemed uncomfortable ferments ignorance

Fear is the premise,

Death of awareness and potential is the conclusion.

In a world that rewards tunnel vision — narrow thinking — 

Reasoning I would contextualize as a corridor with no doors —

The deterrent is finding your own two feet.

There are many deaths experienced by the individual

And in preparation for the final one

I have continued to use Earth’s surface as my page —

Course correcting comets — forming craters to pool ink —

Should anyone fly by, they can’t miss what I’ve written

Through all my works

They’ll read what I had to say.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  Lusidus

 

Creativity Ritual.

People often tell me I’m prone to overthinking

Despite their concern

I’m quick to remind them

There’s such a thing as under-thinking.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: Carnegriff

Compersion.

I’ve never been afraid to share you

In fact, I encourage it.

We can never be each others everything …

And if we were to try and hog each other for ourselves

The world would soon miss a little of you and me.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: Lusidus

A Beautiful Disaster.

When my imagination strikes and swirls

Carrying the makings of a storm untamed

It’s quite the sight — lightning, wind, sticks and bricks

Dare not linger too close;

Lest you are entranced by the encroaching event horizon.

But it’s already too late. As I spoke, you were caught within

The images that continue to form and vanish from your mind

Are the orchestrations of my neuronal ensemble.

Nothing to do but simply enjoy the show.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  Lusidus

Maybe I just don’t like sharing you, dear reader …

Questions You Are Yet To Ask (2)

Question you are yet to ask (1)

My birthday was this week. It was nice, I guess.

I had a few stand-out conversations that i’ll touch on today. Hopefully you’ll learn something new about me.

 

So, uh, children?

My choice to not have children isn’t because I’m a hard-a** incapable of caring or loving. I’m afraid to mess up; much like many of the “adults” I grew up with. To have my son/daughter feel how I felt towards these adults is the last thing I would ever want.

Many people want kids. But very few know what it means to be a parent (except in name alone). If it wasn’t already obvious, my proclivity towards community isn’t exactly steady. I will wait until I have genuine desire to have a family then act on this. Until then …no experiments.

I want to do it right — it can’t be perfect but I want it to come pretty damn close.

 

Thoughts on romance?

No thanks.

(I suppose I have to say why)

Relationships are work. And I know people who are quick to say when you meet the right person it won’t feel like work. I agree.

Because when you’re in love i.e. drugged up, all inhibitions fly out the window. You enter a sort of fugue state – auto-pilot mode (if you will). I can’t have that happen — lose myself to someone. There is too much value in who I am as an individual.

The world is changing. And with it, the people too. My idea of attraction is tied to this unfortunately.  Unless our values align, I don’t really find someone attractive. I can  acknowledge how pretty a lady is from an objective stand point but that hardly settles it for me.

Doesn’t really help that I rarely get out of my house. I know, I’m to blame for this whole thing too. Regardless, if I run solo at the end of this — I won’t be pointing fingers. That’s just the way my story would have gone.

 

Do you have any pets?

I really want a cat — but in case my narcissistic stalkers see this and try to one up me I’ll say I want a dog instead. If they get both i’ll get a snake — what can I say, I enjoy giving copycats causality problems.

 

How is your mental health?

I haven’t felt like killing myself for over a year. That’s a plus. I have tried to be kinder to myself, seems to be working — kinda. I’m doing my best. I have found ways to harness my inner joy by not surrounding myself with people that try to steal or invalidate it. 

 

Thoughts on sex

Probably ties into romance a little. Did I ever tell you that I might be A-sexual? I’m 90% convinced. I can get attracted to women during a conversation but I don’t have sex on my mind when that happens. I consider this a blessing — many people are beautiful on the outside, but the inside — yikes.

Once had a sex addicted girlfriend — assumed I was cheating because I never asked for sex lol I can’t say I blame her. She was used to guys asking for sex during the first month of dating.

Anyway — it doesn’t matter how curvaceous your body is. It’s nothing until I see how you genuinely treat others. To be fair, it will be nothing even when I see you treat people well. I’ll be too distracted by your aura lol

As for sex itself — well, I wasn’t impressed the first time and I’m still not impressed. 

 

Memories of being the bad guy?

Jeez, I’ve lost count. I can be a real a** sometimes. I have trouble with authority figures that like micro-managing. I’m trying to work on that. 

I’m a poor, poor, poor, poor communicator. Keeping in touch is quite difficult for me. And at times I leave people feeling neglected. But when it comes to energy vampires that’s purely by design.

Too cynical — I may not voice it in person. But I assume the worst until I have gathered evidence that supports otherwise. May come across as pessimism to those that don’t know me. 

I can be harsh and very critical if someone repeats a mistake. Particularly in situations when I would’ve discussed with said person ways to avoid the problem. 

My undying desire for autonomy sometimes makes me push away people that could have potentially been good friends. Sorry.

My need for precision and logical consistency clashes with our irrational behavior as human beings. Sometimes, when Tom and Susan mess up, all they want to hear from their friend is that everything will be alright and not a play-by-play of what they could have done better.

I could go on and on but for now I think I’ve covered most of my glaring flaws.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by:  RHADS