Grey Rock Method.

When you speak poison, frothing at the mouth, dripping down your chin

I choose not to indulge; I’ve always got better things to do

And while you form inconsequential judgments on issues you’re yet to understand

I use my time to think of lines and rhymes that make me smile.

And when your attempt to lure me into yet another one of your self-serving conflicts fails

I smile, from within — not at your failed attempts — that ship has already sailed;

Your failure is re-current, old news, guaranteed.

I smile, because despite your unwarranted noise, I finally found that rhyme.

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: oCeyx

Critical-thinking is such an under-valued skill ladies and gentlemen. I’ve lost count of how many times people vent to me, then call my name in an accusatory manner simply because I’m not saying anything or re-enforcing yet another one of their “all important” issues.

It’s hard, telling people, in a nice way, that I have far more pressing issues to attend to. And that their new issue, which in their view is world ending, is far from being my top priority.

Usually, they proceed to say, “Tell me what’s bothering you then?” or “Why not just tell me if you’re not listening”. I’ve had many opportunities to follow up on this request in the past, never ends well. 

In both cases, the approach is more a challenge than anything.

“Tell me what’s bothering you then?” : That’s not how it works, your lack of boundaries does not directly correlate to me. If your personal matters are as open to exploring as a night worker consider remembering we’re not all in the same bracket. 

“Why not just tell me when you’re not listening?” :  Do you understand the number of distractions people face day to day? moment to moment? This request is irrational. Even the most avid listeners will have a stray thought here and there. This question strikes me as a guilt tripping ploy. You want someone to feel bad about not listening. A better question to ask would be “Is what I’m saying important to you right now?”

Answer? “No” and not because I’m an a**hole (not entirely) but because it’s true for most people. Your issue, no matter how severe, will probably affect me momentarily but I wont lie and tell you that i’ll lose sleep over it. Call me evil but at least I’m not lying.

Someone with critical thinking would realize they are venting and giving nothing of value. Just noise. Me not listening to a vent session is not a crime that warrants accusatory questioning. Finish venting, and if its done, it’s done. An apology for blind-siding someone with a vent session is always a nice touch. It shows a willingness to be accountable for your actions.

This is one of the many reasons I stay alone. I quickly pick up on the minutiae. inconsistencies, attempts to manipulate, vampirism and a crippling low self-esteem. I don’t have a problem with the last one provided someone owns up to it. Don’t make thinking of yourself as a loser my fault or my problem.

Forgive me God, but some of your people suck serious a**.  

And I know I suck too ,that’s why I’m adamant not to subjugate anyone (but myself) to my own bullsh*t. 

Side note and ender: When I share these snippets, I hope you never see me as the victim, because I’m not. Fishing for sympathy and having charisma is how you start a damn cult.

 

8 Replies to “Grey Rock Method.”

  1. I understand alllll too well what you’re saying and am in complete agreement with both your analysis and your conclusion. Those are my same conclusions!! You’re awesome OD, you just say it like it is. And I like that.

      1. I’m sorry. I also have a manipulator. Two of them actually. And though my usual methods of cutting people off often work its harder with family members. I distance myself, and sometimes they seem to develop and become aware of their mistakes, only to do a u-turn down the line. I’ve given up on all of them.

      2. I believe you and I are in a similar situation, then. So, solidarity! At least we aren’t alone lol. 🙄But truly, this whole post really resonates hard-core for me, so I’m like ‘yes!! Another like-minded person out there!!’

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s