Zugzwang.

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This is one of those poems that serve as my palate cleanser. I feel the urge to shout, but doing that leaves me exhausted. So instead, I just combined past and present frustrations into one amalgamation. After all, writing is what I do best.

Also, there’s a separate recording at the end of this post. A follow up to my last one.

 

***********************

 

It goes without saying, right?

That what I say to you

Doesn’t need to make sense 

For it to be considered true.

 

You are bound by the world’s rules

You are at peace with a narrow corridor being

The best representation of your psyche.

 

I write about me, more than I write about you

I encumber the page with my struggles,

Involuntarily writing your name in the margins

The teacher always told me to show my working.

Lo and behold, that’s where you are,

In the humdrum of the equation; you are the sum of its parts

I seek answers, and yet, to no one’s surprise

You are the number that makes the problem clearer; easier. 

 

I welcome perspective, but yours I would forever take in doses

I’m not being harsh for simply showing the side you so thoroughly wish to see,

Needling me, with your unrestrained insecurities;

You are an insatiable vampire. Feeding off energy.

Trust me, I know mine is a unique treat.

But that drop is all you’ll ever get out of me.

 

Your words lost their weight a long time ago

Your influence on my life rings hollow.

You can no longer do as you please,

Your attempts to manipulate

Have about as much clinical efficiency as homeotherapy.

 

Seek your value elsewhere;

You are not my friend.

You are not my family.

You,

Are an example.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: RHADS

 

An example of what some might ask? An example of what I don’t want to be associated with. You can’t claim to have a healthy mindset when you make conscious efforts to be toxic. Either you’re stupid, or you think those around you are stupid. 

I don’t need drama.

 

********************

 

The recording I promised in the last post. I talk about whats been happening these last few months. Pretty lengthy, check it out if you want:

 

12 minutes.

16 Replies to “Zugzwang.”

  1. Dante, Good to hear you speak your story. What an situation. I think it is good you spend sometime thinking of your grandma. Remember the stories you had with her. That should help you release. I lost my dad 26 years ago, I still cry.

    Lovely poem as always. So, what sprang to my mind st the end was , an example of…what I don’t want to be..

    Also loved how you said wrote your name in margin… teacher said to show workings… fabulous verse.🥰

    Can I ask what tools you used to do your recording? And music? And how did you embed in you blog post?

    I have done about 4 podcast in like 16 months. I am no expert still a beginner.

    1. Hey ❤ It's great to hear from you 🙂 Thank you for your lovely words.

      As for the tools, I use Audacity to do my recording. It allows recording and editing in plenty of ways I'm still exploring. You can input any royalty free music in the programme once you are done recording what you want to say and it will play in the background.

      I bought a microphone and a filter to help my audio quality be a lot better. I'm still learning the ropes but I would love to share anything I learn with you 🙂

      1. I too use Audacity. I struggled to figure out what us royalty free music, so tried create my own via band lab. Your sound quality was excellent. Did you just embed an audio clip? I dont know why I upload to soundcloud then embed soundcloud onto my blog post.

        I think you know more than I do with Audacity. But out there on youtube is away to remove white noise from Audacity that is helpful.

        I use use cheap head set that comes with my phone.

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