Mirage.

dirty___day__110_by_angelganev_dbo758x-fullview

Spare a moment stranger, take a walk in my shoes,

Look through my eyes; see life the same way I do.

Past my lenses, tell me what you see,

Apart from your mind playing tricks on you.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: AngelGanev 

 

*RANT INCOMING*

“No, you don’t know what people are thinking or feeling. Stop embarrassing yourself”

 

Sometimes people are prone to make assumptions on how those around them feel or think based on what they feel and think. It’s a gamble that sometimes results in someone’s assumptions being wrong or in the worst-case scenario, destructive. 

In cognitive behavioural therapy, this habit is referred to as a mind-reading error, the belief that you know what someone else thinks or feels. Furthermore, you make an assumption and then act on it without any solid evidence. This can cause problems in any relationship.

Often what people see in others is a reflection of their own thoughts and feelings. If you think you’re an idiot, you’re more prone to think others think the same thing about you. If you see everything as a competition, you’ll assume everyone else is competing with you. I don’t need to mention how much this pisses me off.

The other time I told someone I was depressed and they said “I know how you feel”, No, you don’t. What, you think I find comfort in numbers? You think just because I know someone else is going through something similar it will make everything alright? Ridiculous. That’s the equivalent of saying going to prison is nice because you’ll be surrounded by other prisoners.

Listen, I don’t care if you think I think nothing of you. I’m too caught up in trying not to off myself every night without having to doctor your perceptions of me.

I’m sorry I can’t listen to your long-winded explanation of things I already know or find inconsequential. I’m distracted by thoughts of how the other night I held a knife close to my wrist for an inexplicable amount of time.

I’m sorry you think I keep things from you because I’m afraid you’ll judge. I’m sorry you can’t see past being a presumptuous and manipulative bastard to listen when I say I don’t trust you or anyone else. Want to hear my secrets? Be my therapist. 

*sigh* 

Sometimes, dear reader. Sometimes, it’s just better to listen.

 

 

 

 

21 Replies to “Mirage.”

  1. And in spite of your last line… I am choosing to comment because… well, I know you can delete it if you don’t want it on your blog, for one. For two: ohmygod YES! because this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I’d say don’t get me started… but I already did by reading this… I want to read this post loudly from a rooftop and with a megaphone.

    1) Don’t tell me how I’m feeling. Because 99 times out of a 100… you’re wrong and you just look like an ass. I KNOW how I’m feeling. I know my thoughts. And usually I don’t share them. 1.5) Don’t argue with me either… I’ve been in two relationships where the other person would tell me something like: you’re angry… no, I’m not… but I’m getting that way with you telling me my own feelings. Doesn’t matter what you think you see on my face: I was severely abused in my childhood, I am very good at schooling my face and keeping it neutral, so don’t go there. 2) If I say I’m depressed, best response is to LISTEN. Or to ask how you can help. Yes, we all experience depression on different levels. But it’s not carbon copy. I use this same premise when speaking about grief. We all experience grief in one way or another. No one’s grief is worse or better or harder. Whether it is a child or a parent or a dog or a home in a fire…. it’s all loss and we each process it differently. Likewise with that dark elephant, depression. Like you mentioned holding the knife… something I myself have done in various fashions and ways…. but, my experience is not yours. I can only say: I understand -in my own way-. And in that way, there IS a bond and to you I would say, if nothing else, I am always available to listen. Always. Love and Light to you, for real.

    1. Lol I wont delete your comment Tara. You raised some good points which I hope others will get to see. Mind readers get on my nerves. I often ignore them and let them ramble on because they are so convinced that even trying to stop them is a waste of energy.

      And you’re right, there is a bond in understanding what someone is going through in your own way. I appreciate you Tara. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I think we resonate with each others posts quite frequently which is nice.

      I am currently working on a collaborative project with another friend of mine. I truly hope we can collaborate on something in the later future lol I haven’t forgotten.

      1. I haven’t forgotten either! I’m glad that we’ve ‘met’ here. You’re one of my favorite people.

        But I agree, it IS a waste of energy… and waste is one of my other pet peeves lol.

  2. I know you speak of hardships and I dare assume “holding a knife….”, was just an expression for the purpose of making a point in this post – that none of can really know anything about another’s life.

    Therefore my earlier comment.

    But upon reading the first comment from the other blogger, I thought I hope I haven’t got the wrong end of the stick.

    I dont know you: clearly. But I know you are an eloquent and expressive writer, with a lot of passion for writing. So I read this post in that spirit, not as this is happening to you. Err😥🤗

    I hope all is well
    Stay safe and happy.🤗

    1. I love all of them. And they both speak volumes to what I was addressing. Thank you so much for your kind words. I never would have guessed you saw me that way lol I did not take offense. I only saw it as y out caring enough to say something.

      I appreciate you my friend.

      1. Cool. I was like did I put my foot in it and assume. Cause I read your posts that way you express what you feel with full passion. And I feel from your words that you have inner .strength . And we all need to vent, and then all is well again.

      2. Yes, without this avenue I would only be bottling everything up. And i’ve learnt from past experiences that its extremely unhealthy. Much love 🤗

      1. Yes we are. We did 14 days isolation when we got back from Florida. This week we went out for groceries but will be staying in as much as possible.

      2. Its crazy how fast this pandemic took over. Initially felt like it wouldn’t move past China. Curious circumstances we find ourselves in.

      3. Yes. It is without precedent in my lifetime. I find it difficult to deal with the fact that the future and how long this process of lockdown will take is unknown is hard.. I’m not a control freak but I do like to be able to plan a bit.

  3. Sometimes you don’t need advice from people or their opinions that define your feelings and reasoning. Sometimes you just need ears that listen and people give you a warm bone-crushing hug that is if you are comfortable with one and find comfort in their words of “I am here for you, regardless of anything”.

    A great insightful piece, Dante!

    Stay safe!
    Enigma 🙂 ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s