Mirage.

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Spare a moment stranger, take a walk in my shoes,

Look through my eyes; see life the same way I do.

Past my lenses, tell me what you see,

Apart from your mind playing tricks on you.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: AngelGanev 

 

*RANT INCOMING*

“No, you don’t know what people are thinking or feeling. Stop embarrassing yourself”

 

Sometimes people are prone to make assumptions on how those around them feel or think based on what they feel and think. It’s a gamble that sometimes results in someone’s assumptions being wrong or in the worst-case scenario, destructive. 

In cognitive behavioural therapy, this habit is referred to as a mind-reading error, the belief that you know what someone else thinks or feels. Furthermore, you make an assumption and then act on it without any solid evidence. This can cause problems in any relationship.

Often what people see in others is a reflection of their own thoughts and feelings. If you think you’re an idiot, you’re more prone to think others think the same thing about you. If you see everything as a competition, you’ll assume everyone else is competing with you. I don’t need to mention how much this pisses me off.

The other time I told someone I was depressed and they said “I know how you feel”, No, you don’t. What, you think I find comfort in numbers? You think just because I know someone else is going through something similar it will make everything alright? Ridiculous. That’s the equivalent of saying going to prison is nice because you’ll be surrounded by other prisoners.

Listen, I don’t care if you think I think nothing of you. I’m too caught up in trying not to off myself every night without having to doctor your perceptions of me.

I’m sorry I can’t listen to your long-winded explanation of things I already know or find inconsequential. I’m distracted by thoughts of how the other night I held a knife close to my wrist for an inexplicable amount of time.

I’m sorry you think I keep things from you because I’m afraid you’ll judge. I’m sorry you can’t see past being a presumptuous and manipulative bastard to listen when I say I don’t trust you or anyone else. Want to hear my secrets? Be my therapist. 

*sigh* 

Sometimes, dear reader. Sometimes, it’s just better to listen.

 

 

 

 

The Side They (Don’t) Like.

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I navigate the battlefield pacifying every ill-intender with a collection of Swords

Repeat the prior sentence without the first S

And you’ll bear witness to how it takes a pen, or even less

To bring to attention the distance that exists between you

And the unseen heights of my plateau.   

 

You shout all manner of things yet you know I can’t hear you

You’re all the way over there, and I’m over here

Layman terms for your planet and mine

Perhaps I ought to underline how aligned

I am to the stars. I’m not just another Leo,

I bear an unkempt mane

Thought formation teetering on insane

Why would I roar – when I need only soar,

Break the sky, and from space, re-arrange

My life’s pieces back into place.

 

Your awkward attempts to wither my flame 

Are about as unsightly

As witnessing a giraffe throw up – arduous and long –

Like the time it would take to break down

Exactly where you’re going wrong. 

 

See, with each subsequent step I take

The eye of the storm dilates

With each word, my thoughts levitate,

Marking yet another escape

From the self-sustaining prison

This world makes.

 

Your taxidermist has been stuffing you with garbage

Meanwhile, I jubilate to my bountiful literary harvest

Far-reaching words are at the tip of my tongue

Much like when I explore all your unseen bits

I promise, I never meant for any of this to sound erotic

It just tends to happen when you make a habit of being honest.

 

Look how considerate I am, 

Even skipping a line to let you catch your breath,

I run in parallel with a calmness 

Born from poetry and I being bound in marriage

I called myself a failure, but poetry was not having it

Master of the art, showing me how to repurpose

All of the Ls projected. Flipping them on their axis

Like another casual game of Tetris

Forming a continuous line, that in due time

Cancels itself out.

 

Still don’t believe in my prowess?

Tread the surface I ink for your enjoyment

A Mobius strip – It doesn’t matter where you begin

With each piece, with each end

I’ll keep you in the perceptual present.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by:  AngelGanev  

 

 

 

 

 

Padding.

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I’m a writer. Of course — words mean everything to me.

It’s when your actions go against everything you say

That I, as a writer, can openly admit

That (your) “Words mean nothing to me”

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: GUWEIZ

 

I love you, yes you.

Totally unrelated, I know. But I also have nice things to say sometimes, dear reader.

Stay safe.

One Bad Day Away …

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“No man is an island”

I know, I know …

But it is too much to ask

To be part of an archipelago?

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: AngelGanev

 

It’s nice being part of a group that has it’s sh*t together. Or at the very least, a group of people that carry a healthy mindset (and set of values) when addressing issues. You don’t need to wander far to learn not all babies wear diapers. Some of them wake up and go to work just like we do.

Hold yourself responsible for your own thoughts, actions and emotions. As one of my good friends said, “it’s easy to think you’re a victim when you take more than you are due”. It’s an easy go-to strategy to rationalize your own insecurities without actually addressing the problem that starts with you. 

Trust me, you could die today and no religion would start after you’re gone. Relax and take each day as it comes.

 

Ridiculousiology (Final)

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*Ridiculousiology 1 * Ridiculousiology 2 Ridiculousiology (3): Friendly-fire edition*

 

Want to hear a joke?

Life, that’s what.

Fact is, anything can be funny.

You don’t have to believe what I say to be true.

You just have to change the context.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: snatti89 

 

I find the philosophy of absurdism to be relatively comical, how humans seek to build meaning or find inherent value in a universe that is completely indifferent to their presence. Because the alternative is scary, isn’t it? Believing there’s nothing leaves you with nothing. If there’s no meaning to anything then there’s no point to anything. A nihilist’s wet dream for sure.

Life sucks (I know, ‘boo-hoo’ right?) everyone knows this but hear me out. Truth is, there is strength in rebelling against a seemingly ‘cursed’ fate such as this. By rebellion, I don’t mean being reckless, self-sabotage or suicide. 

See, I think of Sisyphus in this instance. For those that don’t know Sisyphus, he is a figure in Greek mythology who was punished by Zeus to forever roll a boulder up a hill. Every time he would push it to the top, it would roll down and he would have to do it again and again. This entire process can be likened to life in general. The end is sealed, we are not in control of this process. Our irrational universe is.

…. But the interesting thing to this story is how it proceeds beyond this point.

Sisyphus knowing his fate to be sealed, knowing there was no escape, did something that the Greek gods did not expect. He embraced his fate. Instead of toiling in misery and frustration over the boulder rolling down, he made a game out of it. He found ways to enjoy it, getting creative despite his circumstances. This is the rebellion I’m talking about. The gods were left furious and confused as the punishment did not achieve its intended purpose.

Life may suck sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy the view on the way down. Have fun. Do stupid things for the sake of it.

Just the other day I slept upside-down. Woke up confused, but that subtle change made all the difference for the rest of the day.

Hell, tomorrow I plan on brushing my teeth with my left (and weaker) hand. Why? Because I can. And because I’ll laugh at myself in the mirror.

And the day after? I’ll walk around my house nude, because why the hell not right?  

 

Timepass.

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Evil.

You’d think its more pronounced

When a knife tip is draped in crimson;

Over yet another useless Earthly thing.

 

I wish it was that simple, dear reader,

Otherwise how else would you define the act

Of someone working tirelessly to pull you in

And when it becomes all too real,

They let you go.

 

“Why?” you ask them, and rightly so,

You seek answers. You seek closure.

Here’s your closure:

“I was curious”

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: AngelGanev 

 

I don’t believe in good or bad endings. I believe in endings.

It’s easier to move on from anyone when you don’t take yourself or life too seriously. Closure is a luxury. Sometimes you don’t get it. The universe is full of questions, and we won’t get answers to all of them. I won’t let that curiosity control me; after all, I don’t believe in ideal narratives. I’ll take what I’m given and work with that instead.

 

 

(Un)Ceremonious.

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She wanted the world,

And you thought your soul

Would be enough. 

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: snatti89