You call it daydreaming
I call it reconnecting with myself.
You call it being aloof
I call it tending to my own business.
Don’t you see?
My vessel always does little to represent what I feel within.
I am, at the very least thankful it shows I exist.
It’s tempting, to reminisce over the past
How I might have done things a little better,
However, its a hole I wish to stay far away from.
The future? Ah, the future. All the possibilities.
Despite my cautious optimism, I try not to think of it either.
No amount of forward-thinking will solve what I need solving now
Highly in touch with my emotions, basing decisions on inherent values
Hard logic has never really been my strong suit.
I stick to the present because I don’t know,
I don’t know how anything from now
Till the end of this piece could change in ways
I would have no means to explain.
Despite living in every moment of every day
I deviate from making my thoughts systematic – a routine.
A mechanical, procedural, curation of events
Devoid of inspiration and agency.
Make no mistake, I have no control over my life
– Not absolutely any way.
But what gives me power is knowing I can choose
What I’m about to feel and do in the now
After all, that’s where I am.
– O.D. ©2019
Art by: Aenami