Status update: Our love is so powerful. So, so powerful. I could never love another.
“Yes. Yes. A thousand times Yes.
That is why your lover constantly seeks my affection
All without you taking notice.
Because they absolutely love you”
— Is, what I would say, If I was in the middle of a heated
High school drama over social media.
But I’m not – honest.
Besides, you have no choice but to believe me,
That’s if I were lying. But am I?
That’s a joke. Of course, I’m not
— Is, what I would say if I was actually lying
Trying to cover my tracks. But you believe I’m telling the truth
Don’t you? No need to doubt me; the source, for lying.
After all, I just said I’m not.
What were we talking about again?
– O.D. ©2019
Art by: JoeyJazz
I am drawn to authenticity. I haven’t exactly made that secret, especially with poems like Authentic: You hovering on my front page. A feeling of genuineness and transparency within those that surround me; I have no doubt many people also seek the same thing. Which is why it baffles me when people are quick to discard their identities when it becomes convenient.
Adopting a new identity fully, no holds barred; discarding their old one like worn socks. I understand succinct changes can occur when you hang out with others, subconsciously even. You may start to adopt a few mannerisms and particular inflections in your speech. But to discard who you are entirely just so you can take on what you believe to be a more favourable persona? Wow.
I say “wow” because I could never trust someone like that. I hold my identity very closely; It’s who I am. And if someone shows little to no love for who they are as an individual, and are willing to trade it all in to “Look good”; I’d like to believe our relationship is built on lies. Who’s to say what else they are willing to forego in their pursuit to “look good”? Our love? Our friendship? I don’t care if someone uses the excuse of “I’m afraid people won’t like the real me”. No, love you first instead of waiting for others to do it for you. Love you and your flaws instead of using other peoples’ validation as an excuse to pretend to be someone you’re not. Do the hard thing, the hard thing many people do on a daily. You wouldn’t be the first person in the history of humanity to do so.
My friend Dorinda Duclos commented on one of my posts saying:
“…The invention of FB, Twitter, etc, has allowed many to be someone they are not. There is no one like you, so why try to be someone else? I never understood that…”
(Visit her blog by the way, amazing writer 🙂 )
I agree with what she says here. Social networks may not be the prime cause, but they certainly contribute a large deal. I remember mentioning how “trends and other forms of branding have transcended from the material to the spiritual”. It’s not about adopting particular clothing, but a particular personality; whatever appeals to most people. Of course, I’m not saying everyone does this on social media; but people are constantly pushed to compete amongst themselves without even realizing it. All through the perceived idea of the “ideal”.
“Stay positive. Always be positive 24/7. No room for negativity”
“Love you only. And learn not to give a f*ck”
“You won’t know what a real party experience is until you go to the FYRE festival” <=== I just had to.
Sub-cultures within cyberspace have their own systems and functions. And most of these sub-cultures perpetuate and encourage being someone you are not. Again, not everyone is like this; I’m talking about those that do. If you are not sure of yourself you will easily fall prey to whatever you believe is trendy or “cool”.
The poem I wrote showcases the convoluted nature of shuffling identities. The utter mess we could all fall into if we start playing pretend. You could get praise and adoration and it all adds to this insatiable fix you start getting from cheap highs. Likes, Upvotes, hearts and all other forms of social currency could come your way and it could feel really good. But like anything else we consume these days, people will start drifting once they get bored with your false identity. What will you do then? Besides adopting another identity; especially once you’ve become dependant on the cheap thrill/highs of embodying something you’re not?
And if you decide to let it all go after having lived years pretending to be someone else, who will you be?
10 Replies to “Kayfabe.”
Visit my blog http://www.lifeblush.com
Agree 100%! I left Fakebook and all the fake “friends” there. Hardly anyone was interested in me or my writing, nor did they care about presenting a real version of themselves to get to know. It was all doctored selfies and politics designed to troll for responses—and if you ever had the misguided idea you were having a meaningful conversation, they’d lol and say lighten up. What a toxic dump! And that’s not even taking into account messenger, where you’d gossip behind everyone’s back! 😛
Loved your poem and rant!
“Doctored” says it all so perfectly Paula. Manufactured appearances and online personalities. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to genuinely be interested in contributing to a bigger conversation and someone says “lol lighten up” because their intent was not to help, but rather incite attention from others.
I have a friend who has the habit of changing his behaviour around people. If its girls? worse. Its like he tries sooo hard to be this person I know he’s not, and for some reason thinks he can fool everyone. This is the best example I can think of to elaborate on what you said. Its a shame that most people on FB or Twitter are this way, because even the genuine people are overshadowed by the fakes.
Thank you for your comment Paula 🙂 much appreciated.
“Hey, you like me, you really like me!”
That being said, yes, that is how many view the world. Like the person I’m trying to be, rather than who I really am. Self love is hard to come by these days. So many are told they’re worthless, so they create a persona they think will appear marvelous to everyone…except themselves. This is a great piece, OD. But then again, you’re you, so of course it is. ❤
Indeed. Great post!
People annoy me, in general, because I can easily see through them and you know.. people don’t wanna be seen. Even if I don’t like you, I’d rather it be because you’re wack to me, not because I see you’re putting on.
Being human is much simpler than some people make it.
I get the feeling you’ve also had to deal with pretentious individuals who assume a position they have not yet earned in your life or in a remote setting. I keep telling people close to me that pretending is very dangerous, because you start pretending even to yourself.
One of the reasons its easy to see through people like that is ‘cause they no longer have the critical thinking necessary to see outside themselves. Rather leaning on delusions of you being wrong about them rather than admitting to themselves that they’ve lost the plot.
And you’re right, being human is simple. It takes being real and true. But most people are too afraid to deal with the pain that comes with the truth. The pain that comes with being human.
Word. I hear you can rewire your thoughts and memories to your liking, but what’s the benefit? Pieces of an unpleasant past are still threaded into your makeup.
Its like dressing the first layer of a sandwich with gravel then following up with layers of all sorts of goodies. It will probably taste good initially, but eventually you’ll have to bite down. And man is that gonna sting. Im wincing just thinking about it.
HA! I like that analogy!