We grow older, change takes place
Sometimes, at an unbelievable pace
Comfort zones, bulldozed
By what we call life.
Meanings and values
Leading our relative narratives
Shift and adjust as we accrue more experience
More wisdom we adequately allocate
To our chosen approach to life.
Whatever the outcome,
Whether you deem it good or bad
Nothing changes the fact,
That it is your story.
– O.D. ©2018
Art by: Kuvshinov-Ilya
I believe in taking responsibility for our own actions as well as the circumstances we have been given. Often times we find ourselves in a bad place, and we look for something to blame; the system or the people who directly influence us. True, it may not be our fault we are in an unfavourable position, but ultimately, it is our responsibility to contend with.
For example, If I lose my job because my boss doesn’t like me (even though I am doing my absolute best) being in that situation would not be my fault; but it would be my responsibility to deal with. The thing is, I could get angry and even go to court to exact some “revenge”. Maybe I could lose all my money trying to get some justice and ultimately fail, but the truth is, me losing my money as a result of my firing is not my boss’s fault; it is mine. From the minute my boss would have fired me, every choice I would have made till I had nothing would be on me and not on him/her. Most of the time we look for something to take the heat for our actions while ignoring our own decisions.
Now I’m not saying accepting what has been thrust on us is full-proof and will immediately make us happier people. However, there is comfort in knowing that we have the power to control how we approach situations around us. Pain stems from building an ideal narrative in our heads which we believe the universe will abide by. Fact is the universe will always go its own way and that could lead to some serious disappointment.
I used to take responsibility for the reactions I would get from people around me. Whether they frown or smile; I would start wondering what I did to cause that. I later realized that this was the wrong way to approach interactions (at least for me). What people feel about me is not my responsibility; I should not try to unravel why someone hates me or is disgusted by the colour of my skin. My responsibility is dealing with how I feel about their actions towards me, whether they are good or bad; how I digest that information and proceed, is all up to me.
I realise I ended up saying a lot more than I initially intended but It’s been a while since I wrote a lengthy piece for you guys and gals. I will go deeper in the following days, I fear fitting all the info in this one post would have me on WordPress till October’s end.