And then, In the next moment
I feel like I am not doing enough
Possessed by my inner idealist;
Frantically, dividing the parts that make me whole
Running a distribution of my many talents
To cater for the spaces that need filling,
And then, in the next moment
It simply feels futile,
Living every day with burnout, for what?
A result of giving too much, no change,
Thinning patience, I am not a saviour;
It is not my job,
I question the point of fighting
For a people not willing to fight for themselves.
And then, In the next moment
I feel like I am not doing enough …
– O.D. ©2018
Art by: yuumei
I realise it is not my job to save the world, but whenever I think of the little I can do to bring some form of change; I am always driven to give more.
When I do help, I am never really expecting any form of compensation. Yes, recognition is nice, but it can only get you so far. In fact, I find myself being evasive of compliments these days; lingering on praise stifles my creativity significantly.
This loop brings about a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts; I usually, if not always become a hybrid of what I am fighting against. Perhaps in being even more aware of this, it can change.
O.D. 
I feel this way often. I just call it frustration
hmmmm agreed.
You are not alone. I experience the same circle. However as I am nw older I beat myself up less about not doing more.
I may need to adopt the same principle, its a tiring process going back and forth.
“…lingering on praise stifles my creativity significantly.” This line right here sums it up for me. We can’t get stuck in the moments of praise or of attack. The best is to keep focused on why you’re doing what you’re doing in the first place. Please don’t stop doing your bit to make the world a little brighter for others 🙂
You’re absolutely right about not sticking to the moment, especially when time is always moving. Thank you for your kind words Sonia, I hope you are well 🙂
An absolute pleasure – thank you for the inspiration. I am very well and hope you are too 🙂
I am Sonia, thank you. Bursting with inspiration lately! 😁