In a competition with myself
To best my past efforts
Re-reading old pieces
Filled with lines written
In hesitation, of public opinion.
Holding back ideas,
That I thought
People would never like
If I didn’t give them
What they sought,
A people-pleaser, who transitioned
From a kid who’s undoubtedly shy
To an adult destined
To make people’s light bulbs fry.
Never mind that descent
Any given downfall
Has its fair share of positives,
What looks like falling to you
May look like flying to others.
Patience is elastic
Until intentionally tested,
The longer the sentence
The longer the thought process,
No matter the time
No matter the place,
Thought conveyance is unlimited
Until Ink runs out.
Meeting a new world constituent
Still brings the same giddy feeling
A feeling invisible to the naked eye.
And then another familiarity arises
Skepticism, from supposition one,
A natural constant
That can-not be undone.
With my sharp memory as a wing-man
I chisel decisions with intelligence
Gathered from past experiences
Sculpting my next move.
“Do I trust this person?”
I ask, pressuring myself
As if the answer
To that recurring question
Is necessitated to oxygen levels.
Looking at the person, I slowly dissect
What I can
Coming and going in their presence
So much so,
Like the Doppler Effect.
Trying my best
Not to place them, on that vacant pedestal
Fighting that ever-surfacing naivety
Dining with Reality,
Instead of my far-fetched fantasies.