The Perfect Way To Make Friends On WordPress.

See, the thing I absolutely love about the internet is that everything we read is true. Seriously.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at the advice I’m about to give and see for yourself. It’s full-proof; there’s literally no way anyone can dispute what I’m about to say.

In five easy steps I’m going to show you how to:

Make friends on WordPress, Pay your rent, Build your following, Get your ex back and ultimately Ascend to godhood.

It’s real easy actually. There’s a reason I have a religion titled after me:

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Spam comment sections baby!

Wanna promote your blog?

Scout the blogosphere for people with the most followers and proceed to lace their domains with shameless plugs. It doesn’t matter who, what or where their blog is.

What matters are the stats.

Stats, people. Stats maketh the individual. They are the most viable digital currency we’ll use as tithe for your shrine.

Don’t bother saying “hi”. No-one productive has time for that.

I understand your concern. But It’s not disrespectful, in any way, to spam the comment section of someone you barely know with your lovely content.

Lord knows their comment section needed a little greasing.

After-all, your stuff is far more important. You have a message.

A message the rest of the world needs to hear. Why waste time with greetings at the cost of our own efficiency.

Friends? No, they are Stats. Are you even listening to me?

Do it, trust me. No-one minds. AT ALL.

Copy and Paste. Plagiarism was an inside job.

Writers are a so dumb. Ugh, I can’t even.

You could round up every writer on the planet right now, and none of them would measure up to a quarter of our InTelLigEncE.

No-one picks up on plagiarism. It’s a myth created by our corporate overlords to sell software. Don’t give credit for work you’re clearly just “borrowing”.

In fact, this is how you can build a sustainable career as a writer/blogger. By stealing repurposing ideas.

Who has time to form original ideas when you can just take from others. Let’s be honest, you’ll make better use of them anyway.

I know what I’m saying sounds shady, but it’s not. Why?

Because I said so.

Regurgitate. Cement Frequencies.

Stop yourself from having personal opinions about anything.

In fact, if you have a personality, you’ve probably taken it waay too far with the blogging.

Trust me — just harp on what’s considered popular and say what’s already being said. By doing this, you keep yourself intertwined with the politically correct. It’s safe and warm there. Like bed covers on a Monday morning.

Writing/Blogging isn’t about taking risks. It’s about saying what everyone else is saying, in the same exact way, with no deviations. Because the root of good content is content that stays the same across all mediums. Creativity is overrated.

(Sometimes I think I’m too nice sharing all this advice for free) 

Don’t interact with your readers. And for the love of all that is holy don’t connect with the blogging community. 

Straight up. You’re too good for those peons. And they should give you the respect you deserve. Responding to Earthlings is offering them a gift. It’s like their birthday.

You don’t want to make every day their birthday — otherwise it loses meaning.

Leave them wanting. Be that rare commodity.

You are an aspiring god after-all — Act like one. *shivers excitedly* I can already see it now. All those losers will be running to you. Wanting more.

Remember: You’re better than all of them in every single way. That’ll definitely show em.

Oomph! No-one questions our authority.

You Are A god.

I had to remind you in case you forgot. The thing about us knowing everything is that nothing anyone else says matters.

We have awakened and we are done learning. As such, you should lash when anyone tries to offer you advice that puts a wrench in our ultimate reality.

“How Dare They”. Am-i-rite?

Your blog is your domain. The peons don’t get to back-talk. They get to listen and appreciate the gift that is your existence.

***

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Wanted to stop the post after the above line, but then I remembered It’s my responsibility to make sure no-one reads this unironically.

Last thing I need on my conscience is someone taking my satire seriously and thinking its okay to do any of the things I mentioned.

I don’t know the alchemy for a perfect blogging experience, but I do know it’s important to:

Respect your fellow bloggers.

Connect (If you want to)

Be authentic.

Give credit where it’s due.

Have fun.

You’ll meet crappy people, obviously. It’s to be found in every community. But try not to let that stop you from enjoying yourself.

I’ve met some lovely people here. They’ve seen my ups and my many, many downs. And despite that, they continue to support and read my work. Sometimes I wonder why lol

I don’t say it much but “I appreciate you guys and gals”.  ❤

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: PascalCampion

Disenchant.

Have you begun to see the world

If it has yet to break your heart?

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  Carnegriff

A-Sexuality Reality.

Apart from people automatically assuming you’re gay? Everything as an a-sexual is fine lol. I don’t have a problem with gay people (obviously) but it’s annoying when my lack of a sexual appetite leads people to conclude I’m gay.

Because its unfathomable in their tiny little minds that someone can live without craving sex.

Please don’t embarrass yourself by assuming this. I like to believe we’re all a little more aware. But I suppose I’ve been guilty of thinking some things are common knowledge in a world full of diverse individuals.

— the other day I was accused of being “too woke” for simply checking on a co-worker who seemed sad. That my generation is too obsessed with how people feel and that we’re too sensitive. The guy was obviously sniffing his own pheromones, I think he just didn’t like someone other than him receiving attention.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with checking whether someone is okay. And it shouldn’t hurt anyone else in the vicinity when we care about other people’s feelings. Right?

Well “Wrong!” according to them. 

Point is, our world is full of all types — I’m open to toxic people existing — there’s nothing I can do about that. I just try not to stick around them any longer than I have to.

Going back to my experience with A-sexuality.

It’s important to note that I’m one of many on the spectrum of a-sexuals. There are A-sexuals who only desire sex when they are emotionally attuned with their partner. There are a-sexuals who are virgins and have no desire of ever experiencing sex.

Me?

I fall in the camp of those that have had sex but simply don’t find it enjoyable.

I want to touch on some of the misconceptions people often have about me as an A-sexual. Stick around, you might just learn something.

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Misconception #1 – I’m not waiting for Ms. Right 

It won’t take Ms. Right to change my mind on this. I’ve had enough sex to know I don’t enjoy it. Where others find pleasure in having sex with their partner; I find a nuisance.

I would rather do anything else than have sex — like entering VR or pretending to understand everything Nietzsche.   

 

Misconception #2 – It’s not out of trauma 

Sex, when you’re participating (and not enjoying) looks and feels incredibly sloppy and ridiculous.  Just two independent nervous systems covered in sweaty flesh, rubbing and thumping against each other.

Perhaps my first sexual experience was terrible…

And then the next one …

And then the next one …

And then the next one …

And then the — you get it. They can’t all have been sequentially terrible. And I’m not about to have sex again just to confirm if I really, really, don’t like it.

It took time but I just had to admit to myself that’s it’s okay not to enjoy sex as much as everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Wanna know what’s wrong? Ridiculing anyone who doesn’t share your voracious sexual appetite.

Perhaps if you weren’t obsessed with your next lay you’d be attending to your fugue state of causality problems. But don’t worry, I’ll do the thinking for the both of us.

 

Misconception #3 – I don’t hate sex. 

“You don’t!? But you just said –“

Relax. I may not enjoy sex, but I understand it’s value from a purely utilitarian perspective. We need reproduction for the human species; and if all of us were a-sexual then that would be a massive “yikes”.

I don’t mind reading or even talking about how much someone may enjoy sex. Just don’t go out of your way to ask me what I think about sex unless you’re looking for a counter-weight.

 

Misconception #4 – I get attracted too

Not obvious, but I have my own preferences. I notice when a lady has nice eyes or beautiful lips or hair. My thoughts however, don’t deviate towards kissing said lips.

I appreciate features how I would a rosy sunset. From afar —through a telescope — stalking your room from across the street.

That was a joke.

I hope 😉 

 

Misconception#5 – Wow. So you’re A-sexual? How does it feel?

I find this question funny because it’s often asked as if I have a condition that needs fixing.

You know, I could also ask how it feels to do the sloppy-mish-mash-under-the-covers thing.

I was curious about sex — had it. And when I was done with that fleshy disaster, some part of me wished I hadn’t. 

If you’re curious how life is as an a-sexual, I can tell you that there’s a lot of clarity. You have to realize it’s a little difficult admitting to yourself (especially at a younger age) that this thing most people around you enjoy, isn’t fun for you. That there’s nothing wrong with that.

Sharing this here means I’m done with the heavy lifting. It’s something I’m now at peace with.

I do think if someone enjoys sex they should dive right in and have a blast. I’m not trying to shame anyone who does by saying all of this.

 

*****

What I’m more interested in knowing is what your experience has been with other a-sexuals you’ve met. Pleasant? Unpleasant? Indifferent? Let me know.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by:  mynameistran

Phantasm.

I tried …

But despite my best attempts; I lost her.

Lost her to cyberspace and its pervasive illusion of success.

“Success” — Ushered and perpetuated by pseudo-woke

Profit-driven messiahs preaching prosperity to conflicted souls —

All to fuel a cyclical engine that produces and consumes

For the sake of producing and consuming.

She was reeled in by a soft sell of Poyais —

Hypnotized by a happiness alluded to by corporations intent on selling products

They themselves would never wish to use.

Of course I lost her … 

How do you compete against a mirage?

A mirage sold through a virtual wasteland overclocking our sensory input

A bazaar of theoretical futures yet to bed actuality.

No, I never lost her.

The world already had her.

  – O.D. ©2021

Art by:  Murciano

Elucidation.

Our lives are riddled with deaths

Know them — Study them —

Learn from them.

Don’t wait until the last one.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by:  indi1288

 

Anxiety about the future and its choices often pushes us to seek certainty in our lives.

The limbic system has a habit of triggering alert responses when we’re about to enter a situation that makes us feel uncomfortable. And I say feel because the limbic system is the part of our brain that regulates emotional and behavioral responses. 

This desire for certainty (if left unchecked) can easily cradle crippling habits.

Habits such as deliberately making choices that are “safe” or tolerating/rationalizing abuse because it’s easier to deal with “the devil you know” — y’know?

Psychological certainty plays a core part in the human experience. Influencing how people shape their thoughts, attitudes, decisions and behaviors. People form different evaluations and act a certain way when they feel certain, not when they feel uncertain. 

I won’t talk about how this desire for certainty affects every part of our lives but I will mention how it affects my creative thinking.

People who know me are aware that I don’t like leaning on traditional standards of thinking or doing things. I don’t like doing things just because that’s how it’s always been done. To me, that’s poor reasoning for validating something; especially when there’s room to improve on an established formula.

The same principle can be applied to my writing. I don’t like writing what’s safe, loved and appreciated by everyone — because nothing like that exists. 

I don’t like reading generic advice I could easily siphon on Quora or Yahoo answers lol. I know murder is bad; but it’s far more enlightening to learn what’s going on in the mind of those responsible. It’s a personal preference I suppose, to read work that takes risks; work that isn’t afraid to touch on the taboo.

I enjoy seeking uncertainty (within reason) because that is how ideas are generated — through questions. My mind can only work when I’m doused in uncertainty because that’s how I’m encouraged to make new ideations and interpretations of the world and everything around me.

That is how our theorized space of possibility continues to expand and form new connections — by allowing ourselves to welcome new experiences. After-all, creativity finds itself in the undulating hallways of the known and the unknown.

But of course, this isn’t something that can be appreciated by everyone; particularly those that desire certainty. And that is entirely valid. If people seek certainty they should find it. Even in relationships.

As a writer though; that reality sounds like hell.

Outside creativity, there are many other reasons why lessening our love for certainty is helpful. Giving certainty a long leash encourages us to be more tolerant and open minded — both of which help us see things from multiple perspectives and not lean on our way of thinking as being the “right” one.

It also offers us opportunities to embrace new experiences. 

But as always, it’s a choice.

 

(For the strawman: Not all certainty is bad. Yes, we need to know there is food for breakfast, lunch and dinner; especially when we’re responsible for people other than ourselves).

 

References: 

Carmen, A. 2016. Why are we always looking for certainty in our lives?. Psychology Today.

Tormala, Z, L. 2016. The role of certainty (and uncertainty) in attitudes and persuasion. Current Opinion in Psychology. Vol. 10, Pages 6-11.

Rock, D. 2009. A hunger for certainty. Psychology Today.

 

 

“Writers Are Weird”

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think people who say we’re “weird” are trying to flirt with us.

To not be as samey as everyone else in the world is a rare treat. To be called weird means you can’t out rightly be placed anywhere — you’re sort of an unknown element. The outlier to society’s isolated (and often individually funded) taxonomies. 

I like to believe everyone is weird in their own way, but there’s a particular breed of weirdness that comes with being a writer. In the interest of precision, I’m going to focus on my own weirdness as a writer.

Let me know if you share some of these traits or if you have your own batch of weirdness unknown to the world.

 

Colorful search history

You expect to find porn or some other shady sites in my browser history but let me tell you… there is only death and destruction of the senses waiting for anyone who goes looking.

I’ve searched for weird combinations of things — which, taken out of context would leave anyone who considers themselves level-headed engrained with a seed of insanity.

I’m not a murderer — but I definitely need to know which poison kills the slowest if ingested over the course of a few months *ahem*

Seriously, if something happens to me, just burn my PC. The world is already f*cked.

 

Difficult to offend/Too open minded

I’ve characterized most types, even the kind of people I would never wish to meet in real life. People suck, that’s a fundamental truth, but amidst the suckage there is value in having people from all walks of life participate in our reality.

If everyone was perfect I imagine life would suck even more. The diversity of character, good and bad, adds to the experience. 

I often commodify experiences, particularly the bad ones, to add to my creative ideas. Coping mechanism? Maybe.

Fact still stands, I find inspiration in the weirdest of places; some I’m even hesitant to share lol

 

Devil’s advocate-y

I have a hard time accepting one side of the story. Some part of me always wants to hear what the supposed “bad guy” had to say. 

After-all, no-one ever thinks they’re the bad guy. Most people think they are justified in what they do. The heroes of their own stories e.t.c.

Try and play devil’s advocate for hitler in the interest of maintaining intellectual integrity and see how quickly you make friends in our politically correct climate lol

It’s not that we (as writers) support the bad-guys. We just want the whole picture.

 

Esoteric bullsh*t

From music selection to our choice in hobbies. I’m the type to bring in my thoughts on the iambic pentameter and the ecliptic at a bar. To be fair, it’s not that I expect anyone to contribute anything meaningful given the environment. I’ll mostly be thinking out loud. I have a habit of zoning out when people tell me things I already know.

And before I forget …

 

Speaking to ourselves

Don’t be freaked out, It’s in our nature. We’re bouncing a bunch of ideas.

Sometimes we’re trying to iron out a scene in our dialogue by playing both parts. 

I mean we’re probably possessed by demons but hey — there’s no need to go around spreading that kind of interesting information lol

 

Manuscript, manuscript, manuscript

If we have a book we’re writing. You’ll hear about it. A LOT. 

It’s like our baby. Try not to think we’re showing off — if we’re sharing ideas with you it means we trust you enough to do that.

 

***********

 

What are your weird habits as a writer? Would love to hear about them.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: guillembe

Ethnocentrism And Other Stupid Things.

I talk about racism a lot. However, in recent months I’ve since slowed down on talking about things that often leave me feeling exhausted. Afterall, my mental health takes the biggest hit.

If you’re an avid reader I believe it’s in your best interest to take breaks between reading my posts. The subject matter is often uncomfortable to binge, and despite that fact, these issues need addressing.

Before I took my break, I was on a streak of unapologetically honest (often abrasive) posts. Since coming back I’ve done my best to enjoy writing for the sake of writing. It’s gone well. But true to form, I feel myself returning to that cynic in me. I seem to oscillate between being a teddy bear and being an actual bear. Entering teddy bear mode when I need a break from the world and it’s endless stream of bullsh*t. 

Consider this a potential warning, This post might go to some dark places. 

Edit: I finished writing it, It’s not as dark as I thought it would end up being. Controversial maybe, but not dark.

*********

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As I said before, I talk about racism a lot. There is a tab on my page literally dedicated to black empowerment and all things related to being a black person. People often have a proclivity to assume when I’m talking about racism against blacks I’m automatically referencing white people. No, just racism overall.

If you’re racist you’re not safe from my ridicule. It takes a special kind of ignorance to be a racist. Believe it or not, it’s something you actually have to work hard to nurture. So yes, get offended if you’re racist, you deserve that and more.

Naturally, people often think I’m part of Black History month and the Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement. Because I’m black. But I’m most certainly not a fan.

The first is unbridled tokenism. The perfect tool to re-enforce an unspoken divide. If you consider Black History Month at face value you’ll think black people are getting something meaningful, I suppose that’s the intension on a commercial level; to give that impression. And if you believe I’m wrong, that’s great. I just think black history should be a part of American history and not something so isolated and condensed into a small a month lol.

To me. it just comes across as. “Here, have a month to enjoy your contributions to society. Don’t say we never gave you anything” 

But of course, this is just my personal interpretation and doesn’t need to be taken as the truth.

The second: BLM is something I have mixed feelings about. Look, I get it , a number of the injustices faced by the black community in America because of police brutality is staggering. No-one should have to go through that. But the whole movement is now diluted by crazy radicals who are quick to justify racism against whites or push a narrative of blacks being superior.

Any movement has the potential of nurturing rogue cells that misinterpret and misrepresent the initial message (similar to religion). Either through sheer stupidity, hypocrisy, entitlement or a weird blend of all three. 

See, it’s unpopular (as a black person) to call out some of these things because a part of the black community automatically assumes I’m siding with other races. That I’m devaluing the struggles that others have gone through and have fallen for the illusion of racial equality.

Not at all, there is no racial equality, and If given the choice I would always choose to be black.

Try not to take this the wrong way but IDGAF what race you’re from. I care about the human. If you make a habit of putting too much value in our “differences” you’ll enter a never-ending spiral of comparisons. And that breeds hatred and entitlement.

Now you might be wondering why I lead with such a lengthy prelude, it’s to help give context to what I’m about to say. You wouldn’t understand how I came to certain conclusions without it.

I hate racism. That’s obvious.

Despite the semantic overlap there’s one thing I hate more. Ethnocentrism.

*******

all_about_erikah_by_iamdetour_de8vfgk-fullview

This is going to sound like a hit piece, it’s fine if it gets interpreted that way (check out my references at the bottom in case you’re interested). I’m going to use South Africa (SA) as a case study because I’ve been there and it serves as a living diorama for pornographically entrenched racism, classism, tribalism and other likely -isms I’m too lazy to think of right now.

See, majority of black people in SA are what happens when corruption, a lack of education, entitlement and desensitization to violence meet. Yes, apartheid was terrible, but it is often used as a crutch by the majority to validate their barbaric behavior. And you might think me calling their behavior “barbaric” is pushing it, but take a look at the xenophobic attacks from 2009 – 2019, doing your best to exclude the looting taking place at this very moment.

You’ve got bigots, politicians and tribalists (hardly separable in this case) kindling sentiment against minorities/foreigners in the country which fuels more of this xenophobia. It’s a complete joke, radio silence as people are ransacked or murdered. And when those in charge eventually speak, there is a political rhetoric applied that does nothing to speak against or quell the ongoing violence. Which only emboldens the barbarians of the population to loot and kill unabated. 

The only people who benefit from these kinds of situations are those in charge of the country. They’ve got perfect scapegoats (minorities) to demonize when they need a pressure release; the same people who help keep their economy afloat, whatever’s left of it anyway.

I didn’t mean to get too political, I try and avoid that sort of thing… but it’s driving to a point.

The reason I went on a frenzy is to give evidence to those that dine with racial hypocrisy. Often times, when people are called out by people outside their own race they apply emotion and not reasoning — and because that emotion makes them feel uncomfortable, they run for the racism card. Because it’s easier to rationalize it that way instead of identifying whether there is any validity to what’s been claimed.

Well, here I am, a black person calling out other black people. I dare you to call it racism now. 

Are there people from other races that guise their malicious intent using words such as “barbarians” towards black South Africans? Yes.

But does that take away from the validity of what’s being said? No. Majority in SA are angry over the oppression they faced during apartheid — and the wounds are still present. Check out footage of SA looting during the pandemic and tell me how normal that is. 

There is an underlying self-sabotage that seems to stem from lack of knowledge on how social or economic systems work and how such actions impact the country in the long run. No country is without its imperfections — I would know, my country (if you know it) is a breeding ground for corruption and is not much to look at.

But for someone to be blood thirsty, uneducated, ethnocentric and a racial hypocrite is a bad mix.

The culprits won’t listen to reason because they know better. They won’t go legit because their opportunities were taken from them due to apartheid, they see no recovery. They won’t accept foreigners because foreigners steal the aforementioned opportunities they are not qualified to take. They won’t stop a life of crime because they need to make up for not having a job. They won’t stop xenophobic attacks because their anger needs to be channeled somewhere. And in this hotbed of unreasonables they see themselves as completely justified in everything they do.

I just hope people can learn to open their eyes and see things with more clarity and not just lean on emotion. Otherwise none of us are going anywhere.

I liken this to my extensive research on slavery. It sucks reading about that but at the same time it is very insightful. A part of me still gets hurt thinking about that history. I will never forget what happened, however, it would be unreasonable of me to put every white person I meet under that stencil. 

I’ll base my judgements on character, not skin. Because skin color is fundamentally useful for data collection and building a framework; but it doesn’t automatically make someone a good or bad person. If that sounded obvious, you’re clearly smart.

It would not be a stretch to say there are those who would argue against this. Well, to you I say “You know everything. You clearly don’t need anyone’s help”

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: iamdetour

 

References:  

Soni, P. 2014. Tribalism in South Africa compromises democracy, freedom, development and the character of the state. Arabian Journal of Business and Management Review.

Khuluve, M. 2021. Adult illiteracy in South Africa. Department of Higher Education and Learning.

Landau, L, B. 2015. Political rhetoric and institutions fuel xenophobic violence in South Africa. The Washington Post.

 

 

 

 

Star-Seed Requiem.

Silence is part of the music,

The absence of sound brings to attention

The nature and existence of permeating rhythms.

Purging what’s deemed uncomfortable ferments ignorance

Fear is the premise,

Death of awareness and potential is the conclusion.

In a world that rewards tunnel vision — narrow thinking — 

Reasoning I would contextualize as a corridor with no doors —

The deterrent is finding your own two feet.

There are many deaths experienced by the individual

And in preparation for the final one

I have continued to use Earth’s surface as my page —

Course correcting comets — forming craters to pool ink —

Should anyone fly by, they can’t miss what I’ve written

Through all my works

They’ll read what I had to say.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  Lusidus

 

Creativity Ritual.

People often tell me I’m prone to overthinking

Despite their concern

I’m quick to remind them

There’s such a thing as under-thinking.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: Carnegriff

Compersion.

I’ve never been afraid to share you

In fact, I encourage it.

We can never be each others everything …

And if we were to try and hog each other for ourselves

The world would soon miss a little of you and me.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: Lusidus