Conversation Economies and Vanity Traps.

Life becomes easier when you accept that noone actually cares what you have to say. 

Preface: I’m not saying any of this to be a party pooper (also, I’m rambling)

It’s true that most people need a distraction, and distractions just so happen to be plentiful on the internet (our blogs included). Distractions often help people cope with the looming existential dread.

Perhaps “people not caring about what you have to say” isn’t the most apt description for what I’m trying to say here. I believe every conversation is a negotiation regardless of the setting. Some people may care — but not nescessarily for the reasons you think. 

There are resources being bartered in relationships and during conversations. Time just happens to be one of those resources that I think many people can agree on.

But ofcourse, Time is simply the most noticeable; there are other resources too.

Two lovers telling each other lovey dovey stuff under a palm tree is an exchange of resources (emotional or physical). One or the other needs to feel safe and secure, the other re-assures — even on a bad day.

If I attend a party (dear god, I hope I never have to) It’s in the interest of maintaining healthy relations with the host. And if it’s not that, I’m attending because I’m an extrovert and I like being surrounded by people. I mean, sure, I probaby care about the friend having the party. But either way, I’m investing myself and there are unforeseen returns I may be subconsciously expecting without even realizing. Maybe I want them at my future party (please don’t come) or maybe it means a lot to them to see me at their party. And maybe they have resources are super funny and I don’t want to lose those resources them as a friend. So I attend because it’ll be in my best interest to show that I care. So I invest I attend. After weighing the pros and cons of going or not going.

I mean, we keep in touch with people we like right? Because having them in our lives adds something “positive”.

(When I say “we” I’m referring to normal people that do these things. I’m personally beyond saving at this point)

We invest time and effort into saying “hi” here and there to keep those bonds strong. Parallels can be pulled from how we address our business contacts. You can forward the same Merry Christmas message to all the clients on your mailing list and edit those messages to look like they were uniquely tailored for them (but they don’t need to know that). Point is, I won’t be doing that because I care about my clients’ feelings and aspirations; but because I want to continue doing business. Which is easier when I continue to talk i.e invest.

Or maybe — or maybe I’m just a psycho looking for patterns and systems even where there are none. Trust me, the possibility hasn’t escaped me. But luckily this isn’t about me.

To add a layer to my previous statement of how “noone cares what you have to say”. I would say noone cares “unless you’re important” or “unless you’re their centerpiece”.

You need to be important for anyone to actually listen to what you’re saying. Definitions of being important are flimsy — but I say you just need to matter to someone, or to people.  And you do that by providing a resource — the corporate world calls it a service. I just call it “the same thing”

Take a buddy of mine for example. He loooves Jordan Peterson’s lectures, quotes them and even puts the man’s published works on his statuses encouraging people to purchase. Because Jordan Peterson changed his life.  I don’t doubt Jordan Peterson’s overall intelligence, and I do see how he could have sparked my buddy’s neural blindspots. 

And because of that, Jordan Peterson, a well known clinical psychologist, is “important” to my buddy. And everything else that Jordan Peterson has to say is a quotable beyond critiquing (for some reason). Odd behaviour coming from one of the most unnecessarily critical people I’ve ever known. But JP is now important, so in many ways he has become exalted — sovereign. 

Point to what I’m saying is, you need to be important if you care about people listening to what you have to say. Until then, you’re in a pitch meeting. You are still trying to convince people that what you say is “worth” listening to. No matter how insightful it is.

If you ask me, I think everyone is worth listening to — but try saying that idealistic mumbo jumbo to your average internet surfer. Your average Tinder swiper. Trick statement: don’t try, you’ll just waste your time, most won’t hear you until Rihanna says it lol pardon my hyperbole.

You need to realize that to become important is to actively participate in our reality with the intent to engage. And to engage, you need to continue to negotiate. I won’t be so clinical as to give a step by step of what to do, but I know you need to give people (or a particular group) what they want. Often times by saying things they feel but are afraid to say openly. 

My favourite (and by that I mean worst) is the more sinister kind of negotiation — selective populism — encouraging your audience to form connections from seemingly separate concepts with the intent to have them under your banner. i.e. us — Them — This view — Their view — We know — They don’t — an off-brand neo-Fascist approach to handling conversations and communities. 

But with all this rambling I fear I may have given you a glimpse of future content I intend to release here. Much like the Ethnocentrism and Gigachad Vortex pieces I wrote, I intend on writing a piece titled “Starting A Cult Is Easy” with the satirical bent of that one piece I wrote called “The Perfect Way to Make Friends on WordPress” . Let’s see where it goes yeah?

But seriously. I should get back to poetry for a bit. It’s been a while.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: tatasz

 

The GigaChad Vortex.

I love memes, which makes finding a favourite near impossible.

Memes are, in many ways, a form of art — entirely subjective. They open up avenues of thought (assuming someone was thinking before) and re-contextualize joy or tragedy depending on the curator. 

Memes have a nuanced power that skates the razor’s edge.

Used wisely, memes can raise awareness — used poorly, memes can be damaging.  The dark side of memes often involves the reality killing that takes place. The vignette of a tragic event can be used for a joke till future curators have no idea what took place in the original context of the image.

Check the link in the “References” at the bottom of the post for an example of this.

Today, however, I’m not really looking at the dark side of memes per se. I’m looking at the GigaChad meme and the subtle commentary it provides with regards to issues affecting our contemporary society— conscious or otherwise. 

I’m going to look at this meme and break down some of the prevailing themes I’ve noticed during my research. This meme is incredibly layered, so much so, that whilst researching it, I ended up falling into a dizzying rabbit hole of insightful connections.

If you’ve never seen a GigaChad meme, allow me to show you as I continue with the post: 

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ORIGINS

To answer your question, yes, this person you see in the meme does actually exist. However, his original pictures have been photoshopped to turn him into the, um, “Perfect specimen”(?).

He’s a Russian model named Ernest Khalimov, but the rest of the internet simply addresses him as “Gigachad”.

“Chad” (if you’re unaware) is slang and short-form for what was originally known as “Chad Thundercock” — the archetypal Alpha male who is sexually desirable to all who see him. 

The GigaChad meme was created on 4chan as a form of self-deprecating humour. Memes would often surface with  accompanying text saying something like “The guy she tells you not to worry about” or “Her Ex” [insert GigaChad meme] vs “You” [insert comically frail man]”

The short version: Gigachad memes are often used to show what a”superior” man looks like or it’s usually implied with a picture of GigaChad and text like “Men who don’t simp” or “Anyone who doesn’t support [insert something]”

Example: 

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So in this context of the Gigachad meme, anyone who keeps their cool in an online game is in many ways a “Chad” or “Gigachad”

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The MisANDgyny — CHAD-STACY — (FEM/IN)CEL Paradox.

Conceptually speaking, imagine the Gigachad meme on a detective board with a web of red threads leading to and away from it.

Red threads that connect to different communities on the internet (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Reddit), all with their varying beliefs, opinions and subcultures.

What started as a joke from individuals using self-deprecating humour ironically — depicting what all men “wished they could be” — was soon being used unironically to try and make a point.

People share opinions such as:

“Where have all the good men gone?” [insert Gigachad meme] 

and

“Women’s unrealistic expectations” [insert Gigachad meme]

Among other things. And I personally think that’s funny and ridiculous. 

Notable communities I’ve seen use these types of tactics are prominently misandrists, misogynists, Incels and Femcels. Of course, most of them don’t come out and say it; the label would leave a bad taste in their mouth. But some carry the moniker, with pride too.

I believe the Gigachad meme serves as some kind of pressure release. Offering these communities a much-needed platform to air out their opinions with some colloquial context.

Which is Crazy. And interesting — All at the same time.

This meme is the embodiment of an entire conversation — an ongoing war that exists between a cavalcade of communities on the internet. And in this case, I’m just an observer — because the only way I see this “war” ending is in blood (I’m not even being facetious when I say that) the hate that exists in these communities is in some ways valid.

But it’s also F*CKING INSANE.

Here are the red threads I’ve found (So far) :

***********

INCELS (Acronym for an Involuntary celibate male)

“Red pill radicals, Comment section hate speech aficionados, Onlyfans whales” 

Chadstride

So this is the Chad depiction I managed to siphon from the Incel wiki. 

Yeah, you heard me — there’s a wiki that goes deep into Inceldom and events that predate GigaChad memes and the like. You can go looking for it if you want, not about to offer them free traffic.

This Chad depiction obviously carries a lot of scorn. Making fun of the standards set on men, for what peek “sexual appeal” is. Exaggerating how ridiculous one would have to be to try and become this — “thing” I guess.

The point here is fair, incel or not. There is no definitive “Alpha” or perfect specimen. There are only people and their preferences. Validating this point does not mean I agree with the incel doctrine, however.

See, I’ve met some incels; even talked to some. Most of them either whine or complain about how good looking people can get away with doing what they want. Now is this true? Maybe. It entirely depends on the context.

But should this “maybe” serve as a crutch for bitterness and resentment of women. No.

Some incels get incredibly violent, advocating hate speech in comment sections and I think that’s absolutely disgusting.

But enough about incels. Time for the next red thread connecting to GigaChad.

MISANDRISTS

“Kill All Men. Girl-Boss taking no prisoners. Calypso Invokers” 

3bd

If we can agree that there are stupid men in this world; I see no reason why we can’t agree that there are stupid women too. So stupid in fact, that they form communities centred around manipulating gullible men. Peddling strategies on how to get a man to raise a kid that’s not his own and getting away with it. Like WTF. 

The phrase “Kill All Men” surfaced as a way to empower women who may have endured sexual assault or wanted to speak out against internalized misogyny. Fair and fine.

I believe what concerns me here is that this phrase, again like the GigaChad meme, is being taken unironically by edgelords and other radical types. 

You know the ones I mean — “The men are trash” gals who only say so because their crush never asked them out or some other petty sh*t. I don’t like associating myself with these types of ladies because their thought formations pivot towards trying to outdo me in everything. Because they don’t see me, as an individual or a person. They only see a man.

Avid readers know I’m A-sexual. Which makes it even more frustrating when their assumptions are turned into facts.

I just want to say. “Lady, IDGAF about your body and your looks, only who you are without any of those things. If you have a mind, please, allow me to engage with it”

I just wish some of these ladies would stop assuming every man is out to get them (romantically). Also cutting on the double standards.

Like how “misogyny should be a crime and misandry shouldn’t be”

Where is the accountability? Do you not think by having double standards we risk replicating the problem? Not every woman is an angel. Jesus Christ!

MISOGYNISTS

“Patriarchy apologists, Waaah-men belong in the kitchen. ‘Big d*ck’ can be found under their annual Christmas wishlist”

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Ew. These men just f*cking piss me off. This “Alpha male” culture bullsh*t is a complete joke.

I’ve seen YouTube videos from self-proclaimed Alphas looking to offer life advice to men who are unlucky with women. All I see in these videos are con-men looking to earn a quick buck by selling you books or media that will teach you nothing but how to be an a**hole.

You don’t need to treat women like crap in the hopes of inducing a Stockholm syndrome variant because you have no way of maintaining a healthy relationship. You don’t need to fuck around and treat people like sh*t until they “prove” their worth to you. You just need to be a human being. 

I suppose as an A-sexual I don’t see life as

“in a relationship” and “not in a relationship” or “Hot girls” and “Not hot girls”

But as

“I’m here”“I’m still here” — “I’m still f*cking here”

I’m not trying to impose my standards but goddamn! There’s more to life than being told you have a big d*ck and a high body count.

FEMCELS

“Incels. But polite — F*ck Stacy though, she’s a B***h. Would date Chad if they got the chance; but alas”

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Not documenting the hate speech that comes from Femcels is a double standard that actively annoys me.

So Stacy in this meme is the virtual equivalent of GigaChad. The theorized woman who, when she enters the room “every” guy looks at and wants to date. She is described as dressing provocatively but not being very intelligent or interesting.

A “p0rnstar embodiment of female beauty and sexuality who incels desperately want but won’t date if they’ve been ‘ruined’ by having sex with Chads”, I took this verbatim. And I already have a headache from all these gender politics.

If you hear me say ‘Men are useless’ and you cheer; remember to cheer when I say ‘Women are useless’ too.

Men and women are all useless in their own unique ways. It’s just a different flavour of useless. And I think the sooner we accept this, the sooner we can start coming to some kind of theorized resolution. 

I understand many articles tilt towards painting femcels as victims (only) because that gets them views.

There’s a market for gullible ladies (and men, as stated previously) that just want to be told they are the best at everything and that men/women are the problem; leaving no room for personal accountability. Well, I’m here to say men and women aren’t the best. In fact, men and women are equally embarrassing and I’ve just about had enough of both whilst going through their communities.

Through reading all of these articles I came to realize how someone becomes non-binary. There’s nothing impressive about being a man or a woman; especially in 2021.

Makes me wish there were other genders in the world; genders so far removed from the standard human anatomy. I don’t want to be a man, woman or anything in this world; and I suppose in many ways I’m already none of these things.

This body is just a vessel that allows me to participate in our reality. I feel like I’m wearing a VR headset except this body is the headset. The real me just needs to take them off.

******

So yes, I love the GigaChad meme. It’s an endless onion. From just one image comes so many findings. It’s like the meme is a framework for gender politics.

Want my opinion? I say put the Gigachad meme in a damn museum. Or Stacy — or whoever — if the distinction is that important to you.

*****

This post is what took most of my time. I kept re-visiting this draft trying to get this piece in order but it’s finally done. No more research for a while.

More poetry maybe?  😉

– O.D. ©2021

References:

Jennings, R. 2018. Incels Categorize Women By Personal Style And Attractiveness. Vox.

Waugh, R. 2018.  Forget ‘incles’, ‘femcels’ are the new online terror to haunt your dreams. Metro.

Lyon, S. 2020. “Kill All Men”: On Humor and Trauma. The Bottom Line. University of California: Santa Barbara.

Baker, S, J. 2021. Misogyny is Oppression, Misandry the Response. Age of Awareness.

Stuff. 2015. Model Heidi Yeh says plastic surgery meme ruined her life. Available at: https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/beauty/73909227/model-heidi-yeh-says-plastic-surgery-meme-ruined-her-life . Last accessed on 25 November 2021.

Mind Bloom Cornucopia.

Haggling words — unaware it won’t matter to a writer;

Your offering is… Shallow. Narrow. Rigid. 

Its the kind of perspective I use as a reminder —

To be appreciative

Of not being cursed with such a cordoned ideation.

Your desire to swindle peoples’ kindness has led you to me

And in many ways, you ought to be thankful.

Not many get to learn their lesson before their circuit breaks …

See, I carry a flame that turns your candle into shade

Your shout, into a murmur, only heard by strays looking to investigate —

— Rumors of ghosts screaming through the cracks of a decrepit mausoleum.

I am the first and last of my kind; the progenitor and the progeny;

The creator and the created; a spirit of ceaseless permutations.

A series of complications; A symbiosis of processes.

And your mistake was assuming I’m only human. Like you.

But that’s alright — we all get to be wrong at least once,

By the time I’m done, you’ll know

That there’s a piece of me in every living being.

This poet I’ve possessed, I use only as a warning.

Try me again — please, I beg of you.

Try me again …

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  tatasz

Romance: Writing vs Experiencing It IRL.

Writing romance is far much better — far more fun; creative control and all. You can’t apply the same principle or logic to romance IRL without sounding like a complete nutjob. 

When you write romance, as the writer, you know what both characters (or all, in a polyamory?) are thinking. You know their flaws, you know they mean well, you know they care. No matter how the story spins, there’s an element that pivots the narrative towards things working out. Unless, you know, you’re grimdarking your characters towards a threesome with Cthulhu.

Not so IRL, is it? You just have to “hope” things work out without any of the exposition to help. Hope that the other person means well, because you mean well. Nothing tells you that guy/gal is a serial dater looking to get a high.

There’s no particular reason for me writing this post. Just sharing more shower thoughts and taking a moment to dunk fecal matter on romance but… let’s not get into that.

Have I ever told you that I’ve never been rejected (romantically)?

Gee, how I wish I was making a hard flex to impress complete strangers on the internet, but there’s a reason I’m sharing this. I’ve never been rejected because I’ve never approached anyone I was interested in. My previous romances all kinda just… happened.

Now, what did I learn from this revelation? I learnt that I’m far much lazier than I thought. All I’ve ever done in my life is have someone approach me and let me peruse their CV. Running a quick cost-benefit analysis of falling-into-the-“love” with them.

Someone said I’ve never pursued because I’m afraid of rejection. Gee, I would say that too if I had an L on my record.

Regardless, it’s too late to find out now. I’ve been on a hot streak, and now the stakes are far too high lol I know I sound like a complete a** here but that’s what often comes with sharing the truth isn’t it? Being judged.

Judge away, call it humble bragging, and maybe one day you’ll start a blog and share something remotely daring. That’s if you ever get past the desire to pander. *whisper* not many people ever do.

I’ve also never lost a fight. Because I stopped in High school — whilst I was still ahead. Also I was afraid of losing teeth.

I’ve also never died — I hear that happens to a lot of people. I don’t know how it feels, but I’ll let you know when it does.

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I wanna share a secret with you.

IF I ever get married (Big IF) when it’s time for vows, I want my wife-to-be to start so that when it’s my turn I can lyrically fry her vows to oblivion. I want to write vows so deep, hers will sound like an imitation of my original works. If anyone in the crowd had given up pursuing their dream as a publisher, I want my vows to re-awaken their desire to publish peoples’ work. So that they publish mine.

Now I hear people say outperforming your bride is completely unnecessary and immature. And I disagree. You have to remember,  the theoretical wedding is the the closest i’ll ever get to a live crowd for my Spoken Word; and I’m not about to let such an opportunity pass me by. The wife-to-be just has to take one for the team. She also has to accept that I did not fake our entire relationship to get this opportunity. I mean, what kind of monster would do that, right? 😉

*ahem*

This post has very little to do with the title. But I just wanted to pour some of my crazy on the page. And now that I have, I’m gonna make like Batman and leave before Commissioner Gordon finishes his senten —

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: PascalCampion

 

 

 

 

Poetry, To Me (4)

Poetry, to me, is the defiance —

Unapologetic sensationalizing of a world that is often unforgiving.

The unbridled strength and courage 

To pepper meaning onto that which is deemed insignificant

With a divine poignancy.

 

The unmitigated desire to repurpose evanescent chaos

Parsing itself over vacant and misplaced minds.

The waking and coloring of docile and achromatic senses

The feel and touch of a lover who’s in reach but will never exist

… Lest tainted by the limitations veiling our fragile reality.

 

Poetry, dear reader,

Is the gentle push that a healing heart never knew it needed.

 

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by:  SuperPhazed

 

If you enjoyed this poem, consider checking out the rest of the series:

Poetry, To Me 1

Poetry, To Me 2

Poetry, To Me 3

 

 

 

Blogging Vignette.

Sometimes I wonder what all my WordPress buddies get up to when they’re not here blogging their hearts out.

Make no mistake, I enjoy reading a majority of peoples work. I just tend to wonder how everyone’s lives are outside of everything they write.

We only get snippets/vignettes of everything. You know, mostly the juicy parts.

Alfred Hitchcock says “What is drama, but life with all the dull bits cut out”

And I agree. If we wrote a detailed outline that includes all the monotony we endure it would hardly be an interesting read. 

It’s not a curiosity I entertain often, after all, I’m hardly the most open person around here.

This question popped into my head when I was reminiscing over old friendships that fizzled out during my first years here on WordPress. So many people I knew are just… gone. Others showed up and vanished within the space of a year.

Keeping a blog alive is hard work — I like to believe in many ways you have to enjoy writing to help with this. Either that, or you use your blog to explore creative expression and not much else.

These were some of my shower thoughts these last few days. Have you experienced something similar or are all your buddies present and accounted for?

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: Ninjatic

Kenshō

You wouldn’t call me impatient

If you knew how long I’ve had to tolerate

Unimaginative definitions adjacent

To that which you say about me.

Noone ever really gets it

Until their intensity meets your own.

See, the day you fit me into a word

Is the day your tears trickle, drench —

— Drown and put a pause on spacetime.

The day you fit me into a sentence

Is the day you witness my form

Instead of your own

Glaring back at you in the mirror.

The day you fit me into a book

Is the day I call you “God”

And if you think it’s getting complicated

Then I’d say that’s a good indication

Because it means you’re starting to think.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: Superphazed

Ruminations From Ghostwriting Space.

Official definitions vary when defining Copywriting or Ghostwriting — but this is what I found scouring the internet:

Ghostwriter: “hired to write literary or journalistic works, speeches, or other texts that are officially credited to another person as the author”

Copywriter: “hired to write for the purpose of advertising or other forms of marketing. The product, called copy, is written content that aims to increase brand awareness and ultimately persuade a person or group to take a particular action”

In many ways these definitions are interchangeable. That’s why for the purposes of this post, I’ll stick to calling it “ghostwriting”; because there’s far too much overlap. I’ll also clarify that my thoughts in this post are reflective of my own experience with ghostwriting and not everyone else’s (obviously).

Anyone with a crippling desire to see firm lines drawn between copywriting and ghostwriting can simply add that quandary to their list of homework.

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#1 Oh dearie me, So much darn personality

There are a number of reasons why people hire ghostwriters. A lack of time or a lack of charisma to eloquently put their point across. It makes sense, none of us are good at everything — except me, I know everything. (lol relax, that was a joke)

I’ve come across clients that — (how do I put this nicely?) — have terrible personalities.

Having a personality I don’t like isn’t what makes me attribute it as “terrible” . Instead, it’s having a personality IRL that is far removed from who you appear to be when you are blogging.

There’s this lady I did a writing gig for a few months back; a kindergarten teacher. I was drawn to her job offer because she struck me as kind and nurturing. Dealing with kids often requires someone with a level head — how wrong I was, because the beast that lay behind her keyboard was anything but.

If “irrational” could materialize into a human being I imagine it would look much like her.

See, before I do any job, I read what someone has written to capture their voice and understand their head-space.

Short version: What she wrote, and who she was outside her blog were two completely different people.

I immediately understood why she needed me (or anyone else) to inject life into her blog. Must be exhausting keeping up appearances. 

Suffice it to say I dropped that gig before it could go any further. Ghostwriting can be lucrative but not at the cost of my sanity. My only hope is that she treats her students with a little more respect; for their sake.

(Don’t worry, she doesn’t know about me or this blog. Doing so would require far too much personality)

#2 Most Are Afraid to be Themselves

Links with the first point. Ghostwriters are skilled, but as much as stellar writing is valued by readers, I believe it’s far more important to be yourself. Especially if you want organic growth.

People often under-estimate a reader’s intelligence. I’ve been writing long enough to know there’s an unseen flow that comes with words drawn from a real place. Readers catch on when you doctor content to reel in the most amount of clicks.

I’m not saying don’t use SEO on your blog. But definitely have more Y-O-U than S-E-O in your posts. At some point you have to consider if you want SEO algorithms to carry your voice or if you want your voice to tame SEO algorithms.

#3 Credit

I don’t have a problem with the absence of credit. I’m a Ghostwriter for a reason.

It’s also important to remember that as impressive as “your” creative work is when I give it to you and you publish it; I’ll likely have a far better piece cooking in the oven by then.

I may have written in place of the client, but that entire journey (from start to finish) leaves me filled with opportunities to see the world differently.

Either through the client’s voice or through the subject matter they are passionate about.

(This whole thing does wonders for characterization in stories) so no loss there.

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#4 Power Trip

Getting a high from seeing work I’m responsible for boom past the stratosphere? I wish.

Thing is, I know my work is good. All that’s left is for the client and their audience to come to the same conclusion.

Call me arrogant and I’ll politely ask you to repeat yourself from a mountaintop; because from there, I’ll likely hear you less.

Dear reader, I work damn hard. It’s only natural that the result of that hard work show itself. And if it doesn’t do well? So what? 

As soon as I send a piece to its owner, I rarely think about it or even check how it was received — it’s none of my business. I’m already thinking about the next thing.

If you see a ghostwriter in your midst getting a rush from something so simple?

Well, it’s safe to assume esteem issues are the least of their problems.

#5 Surprise-surprise. I don’t like people.

It’s a story as old as this blog quite honestly.

Let me fill you in on my ghostwriting methodology and you’ll see what I mean.

To secure writing gigs I have an intermediary who meets clients on my behalf. Talks to them — engages with all their feelings, dreams and what-not. From there, I take the resulting transcript and pay attention to how the client chooses to carry themselves. 

The next step is checking out their work. There’s always a golden thread in how people write; a permeating theme. You’ll find it if you’re lucky — or if they’re consistent.

You’ll soon come to realize that people tend to go all over the place with what they say (as a result of hiring too many ghostwriters or trend chasing). That then leaves me with the aforementioned transcript as the only thing I have to find a shred of their “true” selves. 

I prefer going about jobs like this because It allows me to see things more clearly.

It allows me to sieve out parts of the transcript that are relevant without having to hear about how Aunt Carol is snorting lines again or how Peter got knocked out cold at a feminist rally.

I suppose the greatest benefit with this approach is how it lessens the likelihood of me engaging with irrational kindergarten teachers that just want to see the world burn. 

Win-win.

#6 Ethical implications

“You talk about authenticity and yet you write for others?”

Yes. Because as I said before, some people have incredible ideas but find themselves unable to express them on paper. Either because of anxiety or disabilities.

See, I love ghostwriting for clients who are unabashedly themselves. It brings me inner joy.

But I have a line though:

I don’t write articles to sell products or services I don’t personally recommend. Writing authentically for a client with a hidden agenda is a serious no-no.

To some of these people, ghostwriters are numbers on a spreadsheet. I don’t hold it against them; if that’s what gets them off they can do that in their free time.

They just shouldn’t try to sneak one under us ghostwriters.

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*******

It’s funny how despite my desire to stay far away from interaction, I end up studying people and learning more about them in my free time. What can I say, people are fun to observe — it just becomes a problem when I have to participate in their reality for extended periods of time.

I should also clarify that I see ghostwriting as a hobby. I earn from it because I’m good at it. But I don’t see myself ghostwriting every chance I get; if I can help it, it will always stay a side thing.

I hear many interesting stories from ghostwriters about their clients. If you have one such story, I would love to hear it. There are some crazy people out there.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: hyamei

Featured Art: SuperPhazed

References:

Fuse, B. 2019. Ghostwriting and Copywriting: Are there really any differences? . Available at: https://baynetfuse.medium.com/ghostwriting-and-copywriting-are-there-really-any-difference-f61ec8b844d4 . Last accessed 29 September 2021.

Fiore, G. 2020. Ghostwriting or Copywriting: what are the differences? . Available at: https://www.fountainpencreator.com/ghostwriting_or_copywriting_what_are_the_differences/ . Last accessed 29 September 2021.

Hollow Dragons.

Absolute understanding of people is overrated.

The brickwork inlaid on the walls that surround me

Is enough to satisfy the lifetime curiosity of any aspiring bureaucratic fetishist.

Any who choose to abandon their lives to chisel my walls —

Will, in so doing, come to learn more about themselves

Than they’ll ever do about me.

My core is mine, and mine alone.

Not a myopic curiosity to cure existential doldrums.

If it’s all the same to you,

I’d like to keep it that way.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  ChaosFissure

The Perfect Way To Make Friends On WordPress.

See, the thing I absolutely love about the internet is that everything we read is true. Seriously.

Don’t believe me? Take a look at the advice I’m about to give and see for yourself. It’s full-proof; there’s literally no way anyone can dispute what I’m about to say.

In five easy steps I’m going to show you how to:

Make friends on WordPress, Pay your rent, Build your following, Get your ex back and ultimately Ascend to godhood.

It’s real easy actually. There’s a reason I have a religion titled after me:

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Spam comment sections baby!

Wanna promote your blog?

Scout the blogosphere for people with the most followers and proceed to lace their domains with shameless plugs. It doesn’t matter who, what or where their blog is.

What matters are the stats.

Stats, people. Stats maketh the individual. They are the most viable digital currency we’ll use as tithe for your shrine.

Don’t bother saying “hi”. No-one productive has time for that.

I understand your concern. But It’s not disrespectful, in any way, to spam the comment section of someone you barely know with your lovely content.

Lord knows their comment section needed a little greasing.

After-all, your stuff is far more important. You have a message.

A message the rest of the world needs to hear. Why waste time with greetings at the cost of our own efficiency.

Friends? No, they are Stats. Are you even listening to me?

Do it, trust me. No-one minds. AT ALL.

Copy and Paste. Plagiarism was an inside job.

Writers are a so dumb. Ugh, I can’t even.

You could round up every writer on the planet right now, and none of them would measure up to a quarter of our InTelLigEncE.

No-one picks up on plagiarism. It’s a myth created by our corporate overlords to sell software. Don’t give credit for work you’re clearly just “borrowing”.

In fact, this is how you can build a sustainable career as a writer/blogger. By stealing repurposing ideas.

Who has time to form original ideas when you can just take from others. Let’s be honest, you’ll make better use of them anyway.

I know what I’m saying sounds shady, but it’s not. Why?

Because I said so.

Regurgitate. Cement Frequencies.

Stop yourself from having personal opinions about anything.

In fact, if you have a personality, you’ve probably taken it waay too far with the blogging.

Trust me — just harp on what’s considered popular and say what’s already being said. By doing this, you keep yourself intertwined with the politically correct. It’s safe and warm there. Like bed covers on a Monday morning.

Writing/Blogging isn’t about taking risks. It’s about saying what everyone else is saying, in the same exact way, with no deviations. Because the root of good content is content that stays the same across all mediums. Creativity is overrated.

(Sometimes I think I’m too nice sharing all this advice for free) 

Don’t interact with your readers. And for the love of all that is holy don’t connect with the blogging community. 

Straight up. You’re too good for those peons. And they should give you the respect you deserve. Responding to Earthlings is offering them a gift. It’s like their birthday.

You don’t want to make every day their birthday — otherwise it loses meaning.

Leave them wanting. Be that rare commodity.

You are an aspiring god after-all — Act like one. *shivers excitedly* I can already see it now. All those losers will be running to you. Wanting more.

Remember: You’re better than all of them in every single way. That’ll definitely show em.

Oomph! No-one questions our authority.

You Are A god.

I had to remind you in case you forgot. The thing about us knowing everything is that nothing anyone else says matters.

We have awakened and we are done learning. As such, you should lash when anyone tries to offer you advice that puts a wrench in our ultimate reality.

“How Dare They”. Am-i-rite?

Your blog is your domain. The peons don’t get to back-talk. They get to listen and appreciate the gift that is your existence.

***

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Wanted to stop the post after the above line, but then I remembered It’s my responsibility to make sure no-one reads this unironically.

Last thing I need on my conscience is someone taking my satire seriously and thinking its okay to do any of the things I mentioned.

I don’t know the alchemy for a perfect blogging experience, but I do know it’s important to:

Respect your fellow bloggers.

Connect (If you want to)

Be authentic.

Give credit where it’s due.

Have fun.

You’ll meet crappy people, obviously. It’s to be found in every community. But try not to let that stop you from enjoying yourself.

I’ve met some lovely people here. They’ve seen my ups and my many, many downs. And despite that, they continue to support and read my work. Sometimes I wonder why lol

I don’t say it much but “I appreciate you guys and gals”.  ❤

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: PascalCampion

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