Rambling 2021 (Recording)

I talk about BLM and a couple other rambly things. 

12 minute listen. Adjust your volume and use Earphones 😉

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: FreeMech

A Series Of unpopular Opinions (7)

A series of unpopular opinions. Share a thought, no matter how crazy or critique the ones other people have chosen to share. The point is to have fun provided we all keep an open mind and respect each others views. Healthy debates are welcome, extended discussions even more so.

<< Held (almost) every Friday >>

 

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I shared four unpopular opinions in the last post. Thank you to those that participated.

 

Unpopular opinion #2 “Addiction to p*rn should be talked about more by” u/RayLove660022

 

Response(s):

Anne leueen  “Addicted to porn? There should be a 12 step program for that. Step one: Admitted I am addicted to porn and my life has become unmanageable. If it is an addiction it should be treated as other addictions are treated. Addictions are serious and can destroy a persons life and the lives of others around them. Porn is up there with meth, heroin, and gin!! Pernicious!”

 

Mbosto  On the issue of porn addiction people really think its unlikely for someone to be addicted but its a real thing its more common than u might think… And they suffer in silence coz ur first reaction is disbelief then disgust then denial…”

 

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Unpopular opinion #4 People should stick to their age when it comes to relationships” by u/IsNoBlinksyIsNoFun

 

Response(s):

Paula Light “Totally agree about large age differences in relationships. My ex husband is “only” 9 years older and that ended up being a problem. I can’t imagine how 20 years or more would go. Young enough to be your child? Nope!”

 

Mbosto “On a personal tip the age gap in relationships depends on ones emotional and sexual needs (i think) i for one did not date women my age because of the intelligence gap i found them shallow n lukewarm in both company and temperament… I preferred older women because they were more appreciative of my attention”

 

Thanks to Anne leueen  , Paula Light and Mbosto for participating and sharing their thoughts. Without you, this series would not be possible.

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As for today’s unpopular opinion(s) We have a whopping six to make up for the downtime; check them out:

(Note: These opinions are in no way reflective of my personal views or biases; just ones I think will spark interesting dialogue in the comment section) Except one, I’ll admit. One of them is close to my heart lol:

 

Unpopular opinion #1 People are always concerned about the planet we’re leaving for our kids, but nobody cares about what kind of kids we’re leaving for the planet by u/hasnayn123

Every single day we are getting away from being human, what we’ve learned in thousands of years….. we are getting more and more just materialistic beings…….. i don’t see a bright future here ……. well, not too optimistic

 

Unpopular opinion #2 The groom is just as important to the wedding as the bride, and should be treated like it by u/TheFlyingBoxcar

Seriously, its always bridal jewlery this and bridal shower that. Shows about the dress. But hey, its MY wedding too. It would be nice if men weren’t just depicted as plodding sloths dragged to the altar because they were dumb enough to get caught, and marketed to accordingly.

 

Unpopular opinion #3 We should normalize couples living together having two separate rooms by u/PickleWitty

I love my partner, and I love sleeping with him, but sometimes I really need my own bed to sleep on. I feel like if we were to move in together we should have separate rooms. Not because I don’t wanna sleep with him, I will many times, but having my own space is so nice.

I feel like this should be normalized and not every couple has to share a room. I told my friends this and they did not understand.

 

Unpopular opinion #4 Publicly shaming anti-maskers isn’t accomplishing anything aside from making these idiots further entrench themselves in their ideas by u/OldGreggScalyManFish

All these videos of people going up to anti-maskers while they shop isn’t going to accomplish shit. If a store has a lax mask policy or doesn’t enforce the rules, go shopping somewhere else.

 

Unpopular opinion #5 Workplaces shouldn’t have to accommodate smokers. If you can’t go more than a few hours without a cigarette, you have a serious addiction! by u/tgruff77

Workplaces shouldn’t have to accommodate smokers by giving them smoke breaks or time to go outside to smoke. If you can’t make it from the morning until lunch time without a cigarette, you have a serious addiction and a workplaces shouldn’t have to accommodate that addiction. Some time ago, I worked at a restaurant and saw workers take two smoke-breaks an hour. One coworker would break down into tears if she had to work more than an hour without smoking. That was some serious nicotine addiction! I enjoy soda a lot, but if I took a break (or two) every hour to down a can of Pepsi, my coworkers would probably stage an intervention. Whey, then, is nicotine addiction tolerated as much as it is in the workplace?

 

Unpopular opinion #6 It should be mandatory for employers to send rejection emails/letters by u/chexwithoutthemix

It’s annoying just sitting there and trying to reach the employer to see whether they are still considering the application or not. I’ve applied to several jobs (all which required an account) and under ‘status’ it says they are still reviewing it. It has been two weeks and at this point, I’m 100% sure that they will not hire me.

Sure some people don’t agree with this statement because they don’t like to see that they have not received the job. However, to me it is courtesy so that way I can go looking for other jobs.

 

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Thanks again to Paula Light  , Anne Leueene and Mbosto for their support and contributions.

– O.D. ©2021

 

Art by: snatti89

 

 

 

 

 

 

Questions You Are Yet To Ask.

Why is the art featured in your poetry mostly of women?

I’m a big supporter of the feminist plight. However, there is no way I could be at the forefront of that struggle without feeling like a fraud. I am not a woman, therefore I could never claim to know or understand what they go through. I can only support them in the only way I know I can.

And if I can write good poetry and then feature a lady I feel like I’m doing two or more things at the same time. Also not a big fan of dudes. That’s not an attack on my brethren. I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of having to consistently navigate fragile egos for the longest part of my life. Even thought there was something wrong with me at one point. You know, the usual bullsh*t. Got no time for that. 

Hey misogynistic a**holes. If you need an ego boost, go to your mom.

Do you have any friends?

No. But I seem to get along well with old or dead people. I feel Iike Charles Bukowski would have been a great drinking buddy.

What kind of poetry do you like?

Any. But I’m particularly drawn to poetry/works that take risks and make me think. 

Do you cry?

Yes. And it feels suuuuper nice. 

What do you want most in this world?

Anything real. Yes, that’s vague and quite possibly subjective. I don’t have one answer for that. What’s real to you could be fake to me. Anything that doesn’t piss me off is a good start though. Very few things in this world piss me off; you’d have to be born of Hitler’s c*m stain for me not to want anything to do with you.

Any regrets?

If you had asked me in 2019 I would have said yes. But now, no. Regrets stem from reflecting over a choice you would have made in the past and believing it was a bad one.

My philosophy is there are no good or bad choices. Only choices.

If all my choices led to where I am now, nothing is off the table. Perhaps these are the benefits of making conscious decisions.

Pet peeves?

Absolutists. Visitors. Small-talk. Pretentious breakdowns that could be cut short with a simpler word choice. Copy-cats. Gas-lighters … *okay, I’m gonna need you to stop*

What motivates you to write?

Curiosity. Often when I write a piece I don’t know where it will end. What tends to happen is I write an impromptu piece, double-back and notice a similar pattern in the ideas I’m exploring then I title it after.

Pantser?

Guilty.

Who do you look up to?

No-one. 

Any other questions?

Honestly? let’s leave that part to the readers.

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: Feivelyn

Grey Rock Method.

When you speak poison, frothing at the mouth, dripping down your chin

I choose not to indulge; I’ve always got better things to do

And while you form inconsequential judgments on issues you’re yet to understand

I use my time to think of lines and rhymes that make me smile.

And when your attempt to lure me into yet another one of your self-serving conflicts fails

I smile, from within — not at your failed attempts — that ship has already sailed;

Your failure is re-current, old news, guaranteed.

I smile, because despite your unwarranted noise, I finally found that rhyme.

– O.D. ©2020

Art by: oCeyx

Critical-thinking is such an under-valued skill ladies and gentlemen. I’ve lost count of how many times people vent to me, then call my name in an accusatory manner simply because I’m not saying anything or re-enforcing yet another one of their “all important” issues.

It’s hard, telling people, in a nice way, that I have far more pressing issues to attend to. And that their new issue, which in their view is world ending, is far from being my top priority.

Usually, they proceed to say, “Tell me what’s bothering you then?” or “Why not just tell me if you’re not listening”. I’ve had many opportunities to follow up on this request in the past, never ends well. 

In both cases, the approach is more a challenge than anything.

“Tell me what’s bothering you then?” : That’s not how it works, your lack of boundaries does not directly correlate to me. If your personal matters are as open to exploring as a night worker consider remembering we’re not all in the same bracket. 

“Why not just tell me when you’re not listening?” :  Do you understand the number of distractions people face day to day? moment to moment? This request is irrational. Even the most avid listeners will have a stray thought here and there. This question strikes me as a guilt tripping ploy. You want someone to feel bad about not listening. A better question to ask would be “Is what I’m saying important to you right now?”

Answer? “No” and not because I’m an a**hole (not entirely) but because it’s true for most people. Your issue, no matter how severe, will probably affect me momentarily but I wont lie and tell you that i’ll lose sleep over it. Call me evil but at least I’m not lying.

Someone with critical thinking would realize they are venting and giving nothing of value. Just noise. Me not listening to a vent session is not a crime that warrants accusatory questioning. Finish venting, and if its done, it’s done. An apology for blind-siding someone with a vent session is always a nice touch. It shows a willingness to be accountable for your actions.

This is one of the many reasons I stay alone. I quickly pick up on the minutiae. inconsistencies, attempts to manipulate, vampirism and a crippling low self-esteem. I don’t have a problem with the last one provided someone owns up to it. Don’t make thinking of yourself as a loser my fault or my problem.

Forgive me God, but some of your people suck serious a**.  

And I know I suck too ,that’s why I’m adamant not to subjugate anyone (but myself) to my own bullsh*t. 

Side note and ender: When I share these snippets, I hope you never see me as the victim, because I’m not. Fishing for sympathy and having charisma is how you start a damn cult.

 

Soul Diary Entry.

I do not seek happiness.

Happiness is a kick — a high — a distraction.

Like that stray golden leaf you follow

As it kites itself into a dark cavern

Guiding you to nothing but a dead-end; 

The only way forward?

Out. From whence you came.

No, instead, I seek joy. Hard won, born of self-fulfillment

Sustained of my own volition and will power;

Untethered from anyone; tempered from within,

From within this vessel we call a body,

A body, that houses my soul,

My soul, in a body, I can truly call home.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by: AngelGanev

Hope only means something to me when it’s real. When I wholeheartedly believe in it. Not when it comes from sourcing platitudes. I need to feel hopeful to write hopeful poetry; otherwise what am I doing? Lying. At least that’s what it means to me.

I write what I feel. And most of the time I feel like sh*t and that’s what I write. The up-side is you’ll know when I write something “good” I’ll genuinely be feeling that way. I know many people want to come on WP and read things that make them feel better. The good news is I never took the mantle to do that, only to be myself. And if no-one likes who I am, I have to wonder what they’ll be doing here when there are plenty of positivity blogs out there.

I owe it to other human beings to be my most authentic self. My only hope is they do the same. Otherwise please stay away from me.

Anyway, going back to the poem. IF I was to give unsolicited advice right now I’d say “Don’t ever let anyone be your reason for being happy. It’s a dangerous game”

But since I’m NOT giving unsolicited advice there’s nothing I’m saying in the above line lol I care enough to hypothetically tell you what not to do whilst not telling you what to do (?)

Poetry, To Me (3)

Poetry, To Me (1)  *  Poetry, To Me (2) *

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Chaos surges over … under… through… my formless soul,

You’d think I’m born of cast iron;

The way it swirls and bubbles within me — picture a witch’s cauldron,

Dark and divine energies, merging and undulating.

A process forever moving, persistently Illuminating all immediate surroundings

Squint your eyes lest hit by the glare factor of an eclipse

What is poetry, but my best attempts to convey that same chaos to you

Through this medium, in a manner closest to order — or rather,

In a way that bridges our understanding.

– O.D. ©2021

Art by:  KihOskh714

A Not-So-Thorough Look At 2020.

I hear many people say 2020 sucked, I don’t deny their experience. But If I were given a platform to offer my opinion I’d say 2020 turned out to be one of the best years I’ve had in a while. And not because I got something of material value or that I wasn’t affected by the pandemic. It was a good year (for me) because I got jet fuelled into learning so many things in such a short amount of time.  Also helps that I’m an individualistic introvert.

Lock down was great. I already don’t like hanging out with people because I’m an anti-social “weirdo”; lockdown simply offered me a great excuse not to meet anyone outside a blunt “I don’t feel like it”. Furthermore, being in your house alone for three months tends to give serious clarity. Depending on how you decide to spend your time. 

By the time the clock hit midnight on December 31st my phone was already off because that’s usually the time people who have no reason contacting me try contacting me. Like we’re automatically buddies or something. No, I don’t hold onto grudges — I simply deny ill-intenders a reset. There is no situation where I’ll get so excited I forget that my boundaries were crossed. I will forgive, but never forget. And I realize as a former Christian this goes against a core tenet of that belief.  I just think forgetting means foregoing the lesson I would have learnt — not doing that. 

My New Year was 5 hours earlier than most. So to those  that looked to use New Year festivities as an excuse to rekindle ashes; forgive me for not hot boxing my dopamine for 5 whole hours till your clock caught up.

If you know me well, you know what I think of birthdays and New Years. My methods are by no means the standard I want anyone else to adhere to; they just work for me. I encourage people to do what works for them, and not impose their traditions on others.

Oh, by the way. Check this out:

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These are drafts I had planned to release before the 2020 ended but kept re-drafting. Some of them I even  deleted.

 

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I was particularly excited about the DOOM and depression post. If all works out and my research goes well, the post will explore how the game DOOM helped me overcome depression; primarily through it’s music. That’s the long and short of it. As I write this I’m wondering if it’s even worth writing that post since I just broke it all down into one sentence. But I suppose getting deeper into the “why” would be nice. 

Consider this one … is a note to self, jumbled up ideas for different potential posts. Might just delete this; everything in there has been exhausted but it was a good little space for me to save ideas.

 

Thoughts Like A Theme Park (Part 4) continuation of my first ever spoken word series. You can check out the other parts here. I initially wanted to post it in August but plans changed. I will deliver it soon.

 

The Dark Side to Authenticity. I look at how being real/your authentic self can bring many unforeseen dangers (Might as well be a magnet for narcissists and manipulative idiots for starters). I’ve done my best to understand why many people pretend to be who they are not. I don’t agree with their methods, but I’m slowly starting to understand why some people do that. One of the biggest cases I’ve seen is trauma. But more on that when I do more research yeah?

I hope you spent your New Year celebrations doing what you love. 

 

– O.D. ©2021

Black Fire Depository.

You can call me black — no harm done,

Limitations of language and understanding.

You can even take it to the 70s and go full Rhodesian

Despising and metricizing worldly pigments.

 

 It’s not your fault for being that stupid — they call it dualism of the mind

And you, my friend, are a slave to one side of that coin

Shackled, to the fickle nature of hauling five senses.

Collared, lovingly, to the physical realm — like a mangy dog neglected by its owner

You are in the late stages of spiritual starvation; married to earthly hallucinations;

I don’t expect you to see past that mirage —

To see how my spirit burns, a blaze untamed

In a reality you’ll never understand.

 

Diagnosing me as the devil is the first step to misidentifying my presence

Demon possessed? Maybe.

Are you afraid? You shouldn’t be.

I’m beyond such petty schemes

Peddling cheap scares — pandering — placating

Surface level habits that give me nothing.

You’d do well to call this a panoramic view of satori —

I see it all. The collective sequence of events that denote your existence

I was built to be a passive observer of humanity’s choices and lack thereof.

Your life will begin and it will end with the deterministic value of a movie reel

And there I’ll be,

Using this body you hate so much to live through yet another Earth rehearsal;

Living through yet another time where you’ve seized to exist.

Confessions of a star seed:

This body will pass on

But my spirit and vision will continue pursuing what’s beyond;

Maybe as a sick joke next time I’ll possess one of you.

 

Dear racist, if all of that flew over your head

Do me a favor and at least try to understand this:

“You hating this flesh — this color,

Is not a waste of my time;

It’s a waste of yours”

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: ricardothb

 

I’m not in the mood to be nice. To be fair, I haven’t been in that mood for a while now.

When the BLM chants gained steam early this year, I refused to write about it here. Felt insincere as there were plenty of people voicing what I already felt. Furthermore, I’m not guided by some ethical imperative that dictates I prove my loyalty as a black person every time there is an injustice. It doesn’t make me more empathetic to be involved. I don’t need to prove myself. Simply look at how many posts I’ve written regarding black injustice (tracing years back) to see what I mean. I was speaking against injustice long before George Floyd’s unfortunate murder. There have been many others who people seem to forget and I fear listing all of them right now would dilute the point I’m trying to make.

Appealing to racists and entertaining their worldview (even as an Empath) is far too much for me. There are bad people to be found in all races, but many people are quick to try and play devil’s advocate before they catch up on their history. I’m talking Tulsa race massacre, the Tuskegee Syphilis study e.t.c .

Honestly? Do that first, then get back to me. 

And before you say that all of these events “took place ages ago” and I should move on”, I in kind, would gladly ask you to go f*ck yourself.

 

A Series Of Unpopular Opinions (6)

A series of unpopular opinions. Share a thought, no matter how crazy or critique the ones other people have chosen to share. The point is to have fun provided we all keep an open mind and respect each others views. Healthy debates are welcome, extended discussions even more so.

<< Held (almost) every Friday >>

 

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(Note: These opinions are in no way reflective of my personal views or biases; just ones I think will spark interesting dialogue in the comment section):

 

Unpopular opinion #1 If a celebrity’s content wasn’t made for kids then don’t complain about them not being a good role model by u/shelbygirl1919

I was just looking at a post on instagram of Rihanna in her shear, sparkly dress that didn’t leave much to the imagination. I was going through the comments and so many people were complaing about how she shouldn’t be dressing like this because young girls look up to her.

But I mean, people, it’s Rihanna. Her songs talk about sex, drugs, money, relationships. You know, things that aren’t for children. She does not make music for children, therefore she should not be a rolemodel for children.

If you have such a problem with the way she conducts herself then maybe your children shouldn’t be listening or looking up to her anyway. You are the parents if you want your child to have a good role model send them in the direction of someone you want them to be like. And if that person isn’t someone like Rihanna, then don’t let them listen to Rihanna!

 

Unpopular opinion #2 Addiction to p*rn should be talked about more by u/RayLove660022

As a person who is addicted to watching porn (I’m trying hard to stop), I don’t feel like people believe me. People just say “it’s normal”, but I feel like if someone has an addiction, they should be helped. I’ve talked to my therapist about it, one of my social workers (I used to be a foster kid), and some of my family. They all seem to shrug it off. Nobody really wants to help me get over my addiction because it’s a forbidden topic.

Also, I know another person who went in front of his church and said “I have a porn addiction”, and and everyone gasped. People that are addicted to this stuff really need help.

So, that’s why I think porn should be talked about more.

 

Unpopular opinion #3 Gun safety and use should be taught young, and reinforced throughout early adulthood by u/fallingbear67

May be a biased opinion. I was in boy scouts, and learned fire arm safety, and use in my early teens. While I don’t think it should be mandatory, for a country that made gun ownership one of it’s rights, we certainly don’t educate our citizens very much on fire arm safety or use.

I would have loved to take a fire arm class in school. Maybe as an elective, or alternate to gym? Learn archery and fire arm use and safety? It could destigmatize a lot of negativity regarding fire arms in the US specifically.

 

Unpopular opinion #4 People should stick to their age when it comes to relationships by u/IsNoBlinksyIsNoFun

Now, call me a prude, but I really have a problem with relationships where one partner is older than the other – especially when one partner is significantly older than the other. Now I get it, people will always look at young people and go “wow, they’ve got it going on” – but there is a difference between looking and not touching and actively going out of your way to be involved with them. To me, it’s a MAJOR red flag is someone actually does this – especially if they have children that are of an age with that individual or (in the most worrying circumstances) actually older than the person they are interested it.

Obviously, you can just chalk it up to “hey what you like shouldn’t dictate what other people do”, and yeah, I get that. I understand the whole argument of what happens between two adults consentually is their business and not yours. But because two people are into one another and have the right to be together doesn’t mean that they should be. I know a lot of people see no issue with age gap relationships and just sit on the high horse of “they’re both adults so they know what they are doing” – I think this is very problematic reasoning as it excludes the fact that adults, no matter their age, can be manipulated and – more importantly – young people, though adults, often don’t think the way that adults do; especially if they don’t have a troubled upbringing. Young people tend to be impulsive and prefer to ‘live in the moment’.

Plus, there is also the core problem that exists in these kinds of relationships – the fact that the partners are at different life stages. Let’s take a hypothetic (yet horrifying common) example, a 21 year old gets into a relationship with a 45 year old. The younger partner has just started their life, they are going through a stage of self exploration, one which they can more than share with partners of their own age. A 45 year old isn’t in this situation. Their life is already established, they know themselves and have already gone through a stage of self exploration. They generally have plans of settling down (if they haven’t already) and are looking for establishing foundations for the rest of their life (again, if they haven’t already) – a young person (in most cases) isn’t looking for this and being involved with an older partner who wants this is going to unfairly force them to skip a whole stage of their life.

We see time and time again that age gap relationships fall apart in the vast majority of instances specifically because the younger partner feels trapped by the older partner. Sometimes the younger partner is fortunate and manage to get out before they are trapped into a life stage they aren’t ready for… and sometimes the younger partner isn’t fortunate and end up getting out of the relationship with a child (or more) in tow. This isn’t just bad for the younger partner, it’s also bad for the older partner. The older partner has lost years that they could have spent with a partner of their own age and have lost valuable time to establish their future.

The whole situation becomes worse then the older partner already has a family. In these situations the relationships in the vast majority of cases cause major relationship issues within the family. Especially when it involves the younger partner being of an age with their partner’s children or younger. The amount of times I see posts on here or articles concerning children falling out with their parents because they in a relationship with or married to a partner who is a few years older or younger than they are or – in the most extreme circumstances – are decades younger.

 

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Soul Tessellation.

c_r_o_w_n___by_angelganev_ddu6vwu-fullview

What matters is what I think of myself.

Everything else is just …

Noise.

 

– O.D. ©2020

 

Art by: AngelGanev

 

I get a lot of unsolicited advice on who I am — who I should be — what I should do and what I should feel. As irritating as that is, I keep quiet because I’ve grown tired of telling people “Thanks for trying, but I’ll only do what I want”. Better to let them mouth off whatever they’ve siphoned from la la land if it makes them feel important. I used to think its disingenuous, letting people dole out advice when I wasn’t listening.  So I would cut their sermons midway, but then feelings got hurt, so hey, by all means. Speak.  

While we’re on this subject, this Politically Correct world is a mess. Take this micro-poem for example. To avoid offending some people I’d have to preface it by saying “I’m not saying what other people say isn’t important, I’m saying what I tell myself is important”. To me, that’s garbage.

I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you if I haven’t infringed on your freedom. How does saying I only care what I think of myself affect you negatively? It shouldn’t. What bothers you, is you thinking your opinion is important, far more than it actually is.

Too often, people over-estimate how valuable their input is. Rein in your ego — just because your lover swoons at every little thing you say, doesn’t make everyone else your lover. Tone down, relax. Your one-size-fits-all mentality shows just how shallow you think people are; and perhaps by extension, you.

People are complex, varied and in need of different things. Treat everyone with respect, be open to seeing who they are, not who you think they are. And if all of that sounds like too much work — Give this post a hard pass and keep tracing your stencil, outlining every single person you meet. Soon after? Stop whining when people call you out for being an entitled *bleep*.

The absurdity in the title carries the same absurdity I find permeating in people who assume knowing one person is knowing them all. (I don’t usually like explaining my poetry titles – but whatever) see, there’s no way in hell souls can tessellate. Souls have no shape, souls are not bound by polygons or vertices. Or maybe they are — if you are content with having a limited imagination. Either way, Good luck fitting me on your mosaic pattern of souls.

The gall to call me “proud” simply because I’m not a kiss a** who needs approval from anyone. I’ve burnt plenty of bridges to get where I am today. What’s one more?

Far be it from me to tell you how to live your life. Last I checked I wasn’t a pastor.

No …

I’m just a guy who loves writing