A Medley Of Thoughts #Revisited

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Been a mile since I have written one of these

Pieces with ink that bears no chaser

Upfront, no filter curbing my cursed cursive lines

In a bid to bring out my best self;

Hard to tow a line that borders between

Writing for myself or the betterment of others.

 

I could claim to be many things that are not me

Lie and twist your mind till I imprint that reality

Making it true, but in truth, it bears no value

When all it entails is me lying to myself.

 

I would be unaware of my own choices

Of the same person only in a different vessel

Expecting a different result,

Hoping to reel in an excuse

To stay bitter, validating my insecurities

And blind reasoning.

 

The day I realized I had changed

Was when she broke my heart

And instead of crying or feeling hurt …

I laughed …

…maniacally.

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by: schastlivaya-ch

 

Parallel

 

 

 

Reason(s) 5

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Reason(s) 1

Reason(s) 2

Reason(s) 3

Reason(s) 4

(One of my) My (many) reason(s): Surrounding myself with positive people.

What are your reasons to smile? Please share in the comment section 🙂 Many others including myself would love to know.

Art by: GUWEIZ

Reason(s) 4

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Reason(s) 1

Reason(s) 2

Reason(s) 3

Reason(s) 5

*******

Do not let your frown

Be the result of circumstance

Raise your head, after all,

Your crown shimmers – resonates

With every smile,

Let nothing and no one have the power

To take that away from you.

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by: GUWEIZ

Reason(s) 3

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Reason(s) 1

Reason(s) 2

*******

There’s you, then there’s me

Plus, the rest of infinity,

Manpower and time aplenty

To look close enough

And inevitably see

That someone, out there;

(If not me)

Truly cares, about your well being.

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by: GUWEIZ

 

Daily post: Deplete

 

Smile. Blessings are all around us 🙂

 

Reason(s) 2

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Reason(s) 1

******

Fear not, dear friend

For you, to be, in the here and now

Aware of your existence and mine

Cherishing every breath

Skimming through every line

Brandishing a vessel that houses

Your soul, and none other

Simply means

You already won.

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by: GUWEIZ

 

Daily Post: Disrupt

 

No matter what you may face, no matter what material possessions people may take from you. Always remember that no matter how much anyone may try, there is one thing they can’t take from you unless you allow it; your soul. And honestly, that far outweighs anything else money can buy. For there will always be one you.

Noone can take that.

Thus, smile, you need no validation, you are you.

Reason(s)

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Be your own witness

Search within,

Reasons abound and beyond

– To smile,

You do not need

The world’s permission.

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by: GUWEIZ

 

I might just make this into a series of poems titled “Reason(s)”. Sometimes I (and perhaps many others) need a reminder of why life is amazing and worth living on a positive note.

D_istinct

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Realize how special you are

But soon after, use that knowledge

As a stepping stone to become aware

Of the same value in others.

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by: rambled

 

Sigh.

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Close to heart,

Is where I keep those

I reach out to

When I end up

Falling down.

 

Far from me,

Is where I keep

Those who bring

Nothing

But misery.

 

I am already at war

With inner demons

I do not need, nor am I

Sadistic enough

To fight a war

On two fronts

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by: riikozor

 

Warning: This will be long #Rant

I am generally at peace with everyone around me. In fact, most of the time I keep to myself, not because I think I’m cool or edgy but I am conscious of my own energy. If I don’t feel like talking, I won’t; because I feel like I’m not giving the person as much attention as they deserve e.t.c

At the same time, I am very aware of the energy projected in my direction. I embrace positivity and do my best to relay it back, to keep that good energy flowing. I am not necessarily the most positive person, but I do not burn people to the ground just because I am having a bad day. Thus the whole keeping to myself thing when I’m not feeling anything.

The problem I have is one right now. There’s a person in my life who causes me nothing but grief. Let’s call them A (not from PLL lol). See, the thing about A is that we’re related, so the solution of “cutting” them off like I would anyone else toxic in my life, is not really an option. I usually know how to deal with toxic people because I invalidate their comments, nothing pleases them more than when you react according to their master plan or whatever. But the thing about family is, it goes nowhere, they are there even when you don’t think they are. Toxicity from a family member will, naturally, affect me because we grew up together.

When I think about A, all I see is selfishness, pettiness, baseless arrogance, obnoxiousness, self-righteousness and unfounded bitterness. A thinks going left is a good idea, therefore any other idea does not make sense; A thinks my confidence is arrogance, therefore it can only be arrogance; A thinks me answering their call a second too late means I don’t care enough about them; hence it must be true. I have confronted A on multiple occasions in the most diplomatic way possible; attempting to build a healthy relationship. They seem to understand in that moment but a few weeks later we are back to stage one. Example:

Me: “A, I don’t think lashing out is a good idea; it doesn’t help anyone”

A: “Well it helps me, because in the end I get all that anger out of my system and move on”

Me: “Alright, but what about the person you have lashed out to, how are they supposed to feel? I think its best to approach situations calmly, ’cause you need to remember that its just as easy for them to lash out at you and keep the cycle going”

A: *shrugs* “Fiiine, i’ll try and keep my temper in check”

A week later I was getting lashed at for taking too long to respond to one of the many beckons.

My words were falling on deaf ears, and just a few days ago I confronted A when they lashed at me for asking something of mine back (something of mine). A tried to use guilt manipulation:

“Who ever said I won’t give it back to you!? You can’t trust me with this small thing yet I always help you!”

Among other tactics to take me off balance but I told them to “grow up” and to stop keeping “Petty grudges” as justification for their actions; I had HAD enough of A thinking i’m quiet because I don’t have anything to say when in essence i’m trying to keep the peace. But I realized my silence enables that loose cannon behavior, and I wasn’t having it. A is not necessarily worth writing about, but as my readers I just thought you should know what has been bothering me as of late. I haven’t talked to them in a while, one of the many silent treatments A gives when in punishment mode. I just think its childish.

Those are my thoughts, the frustration I have been dealing with. Writing about it helps. 

 

Zeal.

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Enter my embrace

Feel my heart pulsate,

Confined within, is my rib-caged flame

Hot as a furnace; as zealous

As a burning sun,

Allow my raging passion

To thaw you out of the world’s

Cascading cold.

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by: riikozor

 

Frigid

Questions #4

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Would it be

Pessimistic of me

To say, the idea I have

Of you, far supersedes 

Anything

I will ever get

In actuality?

 

– O.D. ©2018

 

Art by:  chateaugrief